I'm boring!

PennyLane said:

I think this is the closest to how I feel. I can never let loose, have fun, relax...I always look in control and stiff. I hate it.

I know theres a girl inside me thats funny and playful...but she takes so long to come out.

Even if I'm having fun, I don't express it that well on the outside

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Yeah that's how i am. I'm so reserved all the damn time, people probably think i'm a cold person. Like on last new years eve i went to Poland to celebrate with my friend and i felt like i let her down for being so boring. We were in the main square in Krakow and i'd only had one drink and she doesn't drink so it was a nightmare for me, so i felt that i let her down for being such a boring person to be with, but the sad thing is i know i am capable of being fun just that i'm too inhibited.::

That's one of my biggest insecurities, but I don't see 'boring' as a fixed personality trait either- neither is close mindedness for example. Interesting is in the eye of the beholder, and I'm still coming to terms with how having low self-esteem often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I would love someone whom I had put a pedastal to reassuringly affirm me, but those scenarios only exist in fairy tales... even people who are conventionally interesting, expressive and at ease have people who dislike and judge them for being boring. The difference is they keep giving regardless of who accepts them and eventually like attracts like. My problem is I get discouraged too easily and I cope with stress by conserving energy.

I guess I wouldn't want to impress people too much the same way I don't want to be too ambitious, people will come to expect more and I just don't have the energy to sustain it.. One of my friends told me I had lost my spark and it just made me feel hopeless. It's like I've lost all vitality and I've given up trying to communicate. I don't think I'm depressed but I could imagine what it feels like.

I'm so used to having tight inhibitions that I don't even know what it means to 'freely express myself' anymore. irl I tell myself there is no point, no one will understand, I don't need it that much and its not worth the risk of embarrassment, because most of all: I don't feel like it.. but of course there's that nagging feeling in the bottom of my chest that wants to connect boundlessly and wholeheartedly. I know it's not impossible, but what would it take for me to crawl out of my comfort zone? I don't know how to let go, improvising has never been a strength, it seems spontaneity only exists in my head. Maybe I'm only suited for quiet rocks as companions like myself unless I learn to trust myself more.

I often feel boring and uninteresting because my SA keeps me from doing anything, expressing myself and having fun around certain people. I'm only really comfortable around my bf, my dad, my mom and a few other people in my mom's family.

When it comes to other people, I always think I must look cold, uptight and stiff because I feel that's the impression I give even though it's just having SA and being scared of saying anything in fear of sounding off topic, awkward, not saying something right or any other reasons that pops into my mind.

I know that I'm scared of social situations because I'm scared of being rejected. I'm also super sensitive and tend to cry easily and I wouldn't want to be rejected and then cry...

Like for example, when I went to a tiny pharmacy but then I asked if they still needed someone (for a part time job) and they said no, I felt like crying when going out of the place. It sounds so silly but I often react strongly to small things. -_-'

I wasn't always like this, I know that SA makes everything worse.

you're not boring

I know what u mean..I'm sorta like that, but I find that my friends are always asking me to go with them wherever they go party, games expo, movies I always find some excuse unless I have some way I know I can deal with it when I'm there lol..my friends actually enjoy my company bcos theyre dry bastards lol jus kiddin but I do know wot u mean by thinkin ur borin wen n fact ur not!

neko said:

I often feel boring and uninteresting because my SA keeps me from doing anything, expressing myself and having fun around certain people. I'm only really comfortable around my bf, my dad, my mom and a few other people in my mom's family.

When it comes to other people, I always think I must look cold, uptight and stiff because I feel that's the impression I give even though it's just having SA and being scared of saying anything in fear of sounding off topic, awkward, not saying something right or any other reasons that pops into my mind.

I know that I'm scared of social situations because I'm scared of being rejected. I'm also super sensitive and tend to cry easily and I wouldn't want to be rejected and then cry...

Like for example, when I went to a tiny pharmacy but then I asked if they still needed someone (for a part time job) and they said no, I felt like crying when going out of the place. It sounds so silly but I often react strongly to small things. -_-'

I wasn't always like this, I know that SA makes everything worse.

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I'm really sensitive and i react badly to small setbacks. It could be something as small as a letter to say that a job application was unsuccessful. I can be depressed for days after any setback.

PunkRotten said:

Being bored or feeling boring is a from a lack of purpose.

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I might be interpreting this wrong, sorry if I am. I think I am quite a motivated person and I am always pursuing something, its very rare that I'm not working towards something. Im always studying something new and traveling somewhere different and making a plans.

I don't think its the case (for me anyway) that I worry that I haven't done anything or have no experiences to talk about. Its more that the way I express myself is boring.

That possibly makes no sense. WhatI'm trying to say is that I love to laugh, be silly, have fun but I struggle to express these things around people Im not extremely comfortable with....so I think I come across as dull and boring, but thats not the girl inside. i know it!

PennyLane said:

I might be interpreting this wrong, sorry if I am. I think I am quite a motivated person and I am always pursuing something, its very rare that I'm not working towards something. Im always studying something new and traveling somewhere different and making a plans.

I don't think its the case (for me anyway) that I worry that I haven't done anything or have no experiences to talk about. Its more that the way I express myself is boring.

That possibly makes no sense. WhatI'm trying to say is that I love to laugh, be silly, have fun but I struggle to express these things around people Im not extremely comfortable with....so I think I come across as dull and boring, but thats not the girl inside. i know it!

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x2 to all of this

I have that " girl inside me really fun" cause for a whole summer I was really funny, my friend stopped on the street laughing and then my SA kicked in, whatever not.. and I started to fear what if I don't be funny anymore... and once my doc said that one day, I hope this applies for both of us.. u will just say I don't give a crap for what they think and u'll be rself!!!!!