How many of you are totally alone?

SilverLiner

Well-known member
Sorry for the depressing subject...and I'm trying to refrain from the 'woe is me' attitude lol. I just wondered how many people here are totally alone. Back when I was a teenager I had friends. I was always in a gang, we'd get pissed, go to the cinema etc. I'm 22 now and I'm pretty much alone. Most people in 'the gang' have moved on and moved away. I have maybe two friends left in my town. One who I can never get hold of and the other who is always busy with her boyfriend. I just seem to have this inability to make friends. I made one while I was in college but never see him anymore. I've not made any in my first year of university and it's so frustrating to see people who just bond straight away. I just can't seem to make the transition from small talk to friends. Being really shy doesn't help the situation at all.

So until September starts and I can pretend I have friends at uni, I'm totally alone. I'm currently looking for a job to bide my time over the summer and I guess I might suprise myself and bond with someone. Things just seemed so much simpler and easier as a teenager.

Anyone else in the same boat?
 

Hope

Well-known member
SilverLiner said:
Sorry for the depressing subject...
...
Anyone else in the same boat?

I can really identify, though you're right; the 'woe is me' attitude doesn't solve a thing - in fact often exacerbates the situation.

All my 'friends' (save one couple who have been very helpful and supportive) have either too little time, too little money, too little motivation, or any combination thereof.

All my few relatives are either very far away, in very poor health, dead, or don't give a rat's behind about me. The latter two categories are synonymous ;)

I guess the only positive spin is that I have my autonomy. I go to meetings, outdoor events and support groups to compensate, though, honestly, I'm still looking for closer connections.
 

ColdFury

Well-known member
I haven't had a friend in four years. The only people I talk to are online, far away, and not that interested in talking to me anyways.
 

SilverLiner

Well-known member
Mm, it sounds like social clubs are pretty much the way to go. I used to go to a life drawing class and there were some fascinating people there who were always very talkative and I always felt back that all I could do was just nod and agree.
 

Horatio

Well-known member
I'm very much in the same boat. I work with people who are all a lot older than me and I am completely incapable of making any friends to hang out with. I didnt have friends at school but had a group of mates I used to hang out with and get up to mischeif with when I left school age 16 until I left town at age 18. Everyone has moved on since then and my contact with them is maybe one or two emails a year, they are busy, they have their girlfriends etc to attend to and even if I happen to pass through their respective cities more often than not they are too busy to see me

If I want to go to a movie I have to go alone, if I want to go to a bar to have a few drinks I go alone, if I want to go to a resteraunt I go alone.

I usually end up simply not doing those things and sit in my room by myself watching DVDs or surfing the net to pass my time.

this just seems to be the way it is supposed to be for me, any efforts Ive made to make friends or to get a girlfriend have all been disasters
 

black_mamba

Well-known member
I feel sad reading these replies. I don't know why though, I enjoy being alone myself. :eek:

So until September starts and I can pretend I have friends at uni, I'm totally alone. I'm currently looking for a job to bide my time over the summer and I guess I might suprise myself and bond with someone.

I'm also lonely and a bit bored. Although I have things to get on with theres a lack of structure to my day so I'm also looking for a job.

As for being alone: 70% of the time I'm completely alone, 20% with boyfriend (who has now told me he can't cope with my constant anxiety and depression) and the rest with my mum who is a wonderful happy lively person, but the age gap means there are some things (like modern culture) she just doesn't 'get'.

I'm alone, I kinda like it but wouldn't mind some companionship.

[understatement]
 

Crimefish

Well-known member
whoa... this topic gets any more cheerful and a funeral is gonna break out.

I have my family but no offline friends. I'm okay with that. I have plenty of online friends, and I'm making more every day.
 

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
I got a few real life freinds, met a few offline freinds and have close freindships with them both on and offline (all have SA)

weird as it may sound though, I've always felt alone
 

koyaanisqatsi

Well-known member
I moved back to this area last Sept. (2004). I have seen a few old friends, but they have families, their own lives. I no longer fit in their lives. OK.

Like Remus, I've ( almost ) always felt alone.

Now, with the exception of the two cats I'm responsible for, I'm truly alone. A wierd hermit who can't really reach out to others, who can't get my life back on track ( if it ever was on track ).
 

Chilling__Echo

Well-known member
SilverLiner, i can identify alot, i used to belong to a *posse*, us four girls all through high school untill i met my bf. then i realised how trivial they were, we'd constantly fight and it was always drama drama drama. i got sick of it and basically told one of the girls to fuck off. the other two i was close to, but i was mainly with my bf (why hang out with them and it go to like it was before when i could be completely at peace with my b/f ya know?).

now it's just me and him. i met one person at college but she is always so busy. i think she might have some demons she's dealing with b/c she purposefully stays busy and it's like she's trying not to get too close (she also has a serious bf so i'm sure that plays a big part). either that or she has SA :wink: but we were pretty much all we had at college.

the main thing that set me into a depression when we broke up in march was i felt so alone. i'd never felt so... unstable in my life and i've always had friends, alot of them. but i know i need to meet people next year b/c it will be good for me. i don't mean to pity on myself, that's not what i mean by all this, more i've only recently known what it truely feels like to feel alone. like you're watching the floor underneath you turn into marbles almost and scramble away from you... i never really knew how long a day could be until i was counting down the hours until i could go to sleep.

ugh sorry you guys, i ramble! usually i try not to think about it. but really, you guys shouldn't feel alone, talking people online can only give you but so much gratification but sometimes just knowing that there is someone out there behind closed walls is feeling the same way can help.
 

Chilling__Echo

Well-known member
i think there's always hope. you never know who you'll meet next. i don't think you could avoid meeting other people and you're bound to get along with at least one of them. all hope isn't lost.

and what if you were the only alone person out there? i think it's easier to identify with someone who's gone through the same thing. It's not so discouraging to me if i know i'm not alone. i wouldn't wish it upon anyone else though, sorry to depress you! :(
 

ColdFury

Well-known member
i don't think you could avoid meeting other people and you're bound to get along with at least one of them. all hope isn't lost.

How do you figure that? I haven't met anyone in quite a long time. When one rarely leaves their room, they don't meet people.
 

ellesor

Member
I live with my parents and my younger brother.
I work as a web designer.
There are people in my office.
But I can't relate to any of them.
So, yeah, I'm completely alone.
 

Drella

Member
I am pretty much alone. I live with my mom, I don't work, and I'm out of school at the moment. I sit at home alone all day (my mom works nights and sleeps all day.) Even when I do get the opportunity to meet people, I end up making a bad impression or being too nervous to do anything about it.
 

clairet

Well-known member
Cassie said:
No, In my town there's no chance of me meeting anyone even remotely like me, and I can't move away right now because I wouldn't be able to cope with a full-time job...and I don't know what to do lately, I'm just stuck.

This is exactly how I feel Cassie. I have been working abroad for a year (which suits me very well as I have a part time job and don't have much contact with my terrifying colleagues and because I live in a big city although I meet people, it is on a very loose basis so we don't get close enough for them to discover the real me, as it were).

So, I'm going back to live with my parents in about a month's time as I don't have any more work and can't bear the social stress of full time work. My parents live in a very small, lonely place and I really do not connect with the people around there and just know that I am gonna get down and feel even more alienated than I did before going away...

Sorry for the depressing post, I try not to, but this reality is gonna happen to me soon basically and I am angry with myself for not being able to hack full time work so that I can become financially independent and make life choices that suit me better. Grrrrrr

Same for many of us I know.
 

blubs

Well-known member
I know what you mean Clairet-If you can't work full time then it really limits your independance and the choices you can make. I tried working abroad before and really loved parts of it, partly in fact being with people that spoke a different language than me so for once I had a reason for not joining in with conversations more.
But I also struggled with it and always ended up back in my home town. I feel like there's so much going on in the world that I don't get to take see or take part in.
 

clairet

Well-known member
blubs said:
I tried working abroad before and really loved parts of it, partly in fact being with people that spoke a different language than me so for once I had a reason for not joining in with conversations more.
But I also struggled with it and always ended up back in my home town. I feel like there's so much going on in the world that I don't get to take see or take part in.

Hi Blubs, I am the same, I quite enjoy the fact that my lack of things to say and social embarrassment is covered up behind the mask of the language barrier. Probably why I am feeling so much more comfortable at work at the moment!

Where did you go to when you worked abroad?

x
 
*Raises Hand* Well of course. I had had virtually no friends in or since high school. I would meet someone early on in the year and we'd interact a bit but eventually they'd 'give up' on me and I'd go the rest of the year without a friend.
When I changed to a smaller school in 12th grade I actually made a couple friends that lasted throughout the year, even though I hung out with them outside of school maybe once. Then graduation ended that, but due to getting a computer that year I was able to keep touch with at least one of my friends on instant messenger. Within the last couple of years THAT pretty much stopped, probably because he's busy(since he wasn't exactly shy). I had a couple other online friends but I stopped hearing from them too.

There was also girl I met in the hospital summer of '99 who was shy like me, and we became friends but when we parted we only kept in touch through letters since she lived in a distant town away from me. I was the last to send a letter, and haven't head from her in about a year or so. So right now, I can safely say I'm as alone as possible and haven't been so probably since...ever? I was once close with my little brother but as he's become a teenager he's abandoning me as well.
Talk about a sob story eh.
 

Cryptolysergick

Well-known member
I too am completely alone, I have one friend but he tears down my self esteem, the only reason I keep him around is because I can't meet anymore musicians. Online friends are dicks too, maybe i just have bad luck. The best time when I wasnt alone was in a mental institute, except it was scary when the kids would freak out and throw grits at the wall.
 
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