How did your Social Phobia begin?

How do people here think their social phobia started? For me, I think it was a mixture of things but there is one very clear memory that stands out.

I was the youngest, about two, and we were moving house and, being two and curious, I picked up something sharp and then accidentally cut my older sister's leg. I remember my much older siblings glaring down at me in what I perceived as anger and disgust (I suppose it was just annoyance). But whether that was the catalyst, I don't know, because there was another incident when I was even younger.

My Mum told me one day she left me outside a shop in my pram and when she came out a large crowd of people had gathered round (presumably because I'd woken up and begun crying) and I was bawling my eyes out and very, very distressed. I guess that's pretty natural for a baby, when they go through "stranger danger" phase but, who knows, maybe my social phobia was already there and the people gathering round trying to help were actually making thngs worse? Or did they create it...?

Back in the days when I was a kid you got smacked sometimes and I remember a couple of occasions when I got stroppy my Mum would say things like "I don't care who's looking, I'll smack you if you talk to me like that" (which made me die inside, convinced everyone was looking!)

There were other things, like my parents, especially my Dad, were over protective so I wasn't allowed to play out much and never really got used to other kids and we also moved house several times so I never really settled in schools.

Anyway, that's my two cents worth, what do other people think kicked off their own phobia?

I'd say it began when my closest elementary school friend stopped hanging out with me, and I didn't want to/know how to make new friends in middle school.

i think it was a moment when i was playing on snow, i was about 9,10 years. I slipt, felt , and hit the ice with my head and couldnt move for few minutes. None of the kids and parents didnt try to help me.


...or maybe this wasnt it.....

i was shy and different more before that

In primary school i was teased because i said my letter r's like a v. I have alway had trouble saying my letter r's. Therefore i became very quiet and did not speak much in school to avoid the teasing. I was made to feel inferior by all the kids because i was quiet. Then i put on weight and was bullied for being fat, i became anorexic at 14 and was teased for being really skinny, i was cured then in college i was teased again.

I was born with it. I've always been scared of strangers and not very comfortable with people.

I can't remember what triggered it. I think I was born with it also or because of my isolated up bringing.

replica said:

I can't remember what triggered it. I think I was born with it also or because of my isolated up bringing.

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Me too! I have been brought up in a rural area and still live in the same house with my parents. I sometimes think how different i would have turned out if i'd been raised in a town o'r city.

When I started kindergarten, no more mom nearby. She dropped me off and I was alone, and even then, kids start forming into little protective groups, groups I felt I didn't fit into. Even so, when I saw some girls teasing another girl, I waited until they had finished tormenting her and then I asked to be friends. There was no way she could reject me.
But it may have really come after that, at 8 when I was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety, and my mother told me not to tell anyone, not even my small group of outcast friends because they wouldn't understand. I began to really think I was a freak for having to see a psychiatrist and taking medication. I felt shame for what I was and as we grew older, I began to isolate myself from my friends and they moved on to bigger and better things.

The real answer? Most of us were born predisposed to it, and the trigger-events which occur in our lives exacerbate things to the point where we end up on this website, which I am so glad is here for support.

I have had it since I was young and with me not having any siblings my own age (my brothers are a lot older and I didn't see them much) I have always been protected by my parents and I think it has made me shy. I have a lot of opinions but I don't dare to shout out because I am very paranoid of myself and I feel everyone is staring at me and judging me. I have been like this since primary school but it wasn't has bad then, now I feel that I don't have a right to say anything because I am me and people will be horrible to me because they know I won't stand up and they think it is ok to be like this with me so I start thinking it is because I am me and I can't change