I just want the freedom alcohol gives me.
I am now on 30mg on citalopram and the symptoms have gone down and its only been 7 weeks but still I never speak.
I used to be fine with it but since uni this year and seeing people so happy and social has made me realise how lonely I am and have always been and how I just want to be like everyone else.
I have always made myself believe that the way I was okay and made me who I was and blah but now I HATE who I am.
When I'm drunk I talk and soclise and am me the way I am with my family, with myself and its amazing.
I have never even been into drinking and am staying away from it because I end up doing things I am against like I nearly did drugs because of the poor judgment and end up in paces with people I really shouldn't be near and saying things I should never say :'( I just want to be myself you know? without the anxiety, without the loneliness, without always doubting myself, feeling limited and not normal :crying: I am fed up, I really think I am going to die alone, never going to have friends or find love.
I was always scared to go on medication because it takes away feeling and that but right now I would prefer it.
I am not really happy anymore and would love to never care and just not feel anything.
I don't know. I don't really have a question just wanted to get that out of my mind. Any advice would be appreciated though
I am now on 30mg on citalopram and the symptoms have gone down and its only been 7 weeks but still I never speak.
I used to be fine with it but since uni this year and seeing people so happy and social has made me realise how lonely I am and have always been and how I just want to be like everyone else.
I have always made myself believe that the way I was okay and made me who I was and blah but now I HATE who I am.
When I'm drunk I talk and soclise and am me the way I am with my family, with myself and its amazing.
I have never even been into drinking and am staying away from it because I end up doing things I am against like I nearly did drugs because of the poor judgment and end up in paces with people I really shouldn't be near and saying things I should never say :'( I just want to be myself you know? without the anxiety, without the loneliness, without always doubting myself, feeling limited and not normal :crying: I am fed up, I really think I am going to die alone, never going to have friends or find love.
I was always scared to go on medication because it takes away feeling and that but right now I would prefer it.
I am not really happy anymore and would love to never care and just not feel anything.
I don't know. I don't really have a question just wanted to get that out of my mind. Any advice would be appreciated though