A Quiet Guys Baw Thread.

faceless127

faceless127

Member
I hate having Anxiety! I cannot for the life of me, meet a girl because I come off as none confident, no girl wants to be with a jittery non relaxed guy... I feel as though I should just give up and live forever alone. Then on top of my anxiety, I'm also very quiet.. Dunno if its from my anxiety but I feel as though I never have anything important to say.. Like there would be no meaning if I said it so why even bother saying anything at all.

I've noticed now that I cut out Caffeine from my diet I have a lot less anxiety. But it is still there... Just slashing away at my hope for a better future.

What do you guys think?
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
You thinking that you have nothing important to say is more likely your own opinion of yourself than anything else. Maybe you do have something good to say, but your self-esteem says otherwise. You're sabotaging your own speech!

Good work on abandoning caffeine. I'm not a coffee drinker but I have seen that caffeine can put you on edge and exacerbate these anxiety symptoms.

Have you thought about seeing a psychologist, if you're not doing that already? It's not a magical cure (people think that one or two visits will cure them, but that's just not true), but it might help you to chat about these things to a professional.

If that's you in your profile picture, you have the looks - that's not a problem at all! You just need to put yourself out there and a girl is sure to notice you. :)
 
faceless127

faceless127

Member
MikeyC said:
You thinking that you have nothing important to say is more likely your own opinion of yourself than anything else. Maybe you do have something good to say, but your self-esteem says otherwise. You're sabotaging your own speech!

Good work on abandoning caffeine. I'm not a coffee drinker but I have seen that caffeine can put you on edge and exacerbate these anxiety symptoms.

Have you thought about seeing a psychologist, if you're not doing that already? It's not a magical cure (people think that one or two visits will cure them, but that's just not true), but it might help you to chat about these things to a professional.

If that's you in your profile picture, you have the looks - that's not a problem at all! You just need to put yourself out there and a girl is sure to notice you. :)
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I have thought about going to a psychologist but its way to expensive. I'm just sure if it was my self esteem though, because I remember being quiet when I was a kid. And back before ****rty I was a pretty arrogant kid.. So I think self esteem is out of the picture. I'm starting to think its just the way my brain is wired... even when I'm drunk I seem to just get even quieter...

And looks have nothing to do with finding the girl you can spend the rest of you life with... Sure it helps for short term relationships but I don't want just sex.. No girl wants to be with some boring guy.
 
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MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
faceless127 said:
I have thought about going to a psychologist but its way to expensive. I'm just sure if it was my self esteem though, because I remember being quiet when I was a kid. And back before ****rty I was a pretty arrogant kid.. So I think self esteem is out of the picture. I'm starting to think its just the way my brain is wired... even when I'm drunk I seem to just get even quieter...

And looks have nothing to do with finding the girl you can spend the rest of you life with... Sure it helps for short term relationships but I don't want just sex.. No girl wants to be with some boring guy.
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Psychologists are expensive, but in Australia there's Medicare rebates when you go - perhaps there's something similar in America? EDIT: I'm assuming you're American. :giggle:

It could very well be that you're just a quiet person in general. Are you introverted? Do you enjoy soc.ialising at all? If you're quiet when out with friends, girls won't notice you (or maybe they'll think you're good-looking, which I stress could happen, according to your photo!), and they'll go for someone louder and more boisterous. In these situations, you'll have to take a risk. I know it's easier said than done, but it's something you could possibly work toward.

I understand you don't just want sex. I mean, sex is good and all that, but you want a companion - someone to cuddle with, to talk to, to be there for you and support you, as you would do the same for her. I totally get it. Girls think the same as this, as well.
 
faceless127

faceless127

Member
MikeyC said:
Psychologists are expensive, but in Australia there's Medicare rebates when you go - perhaps there's something similar in America? EDIT: I'm assuming you're American. :giggle:

It could very well be that you're just a quiet person in general. Are you introverted? Do you enjoy soc.ialising at all? If you're quiet when out with friends, girls won't notice you (or maybe they'll think you're good-looking, which I stress could happen, according to your photo!), and they'll go for someone louder and more boisterous. In these situations, you'll have to take a risk. I know it's easier said than done, but it's something you could possibly work toward.

I understand you don't just want sex. I mean, sex is good and all that, but you want a companion - someone to cuddle with, to talk to, to be there for you and support you, as you would do the same for her. I totally get it. Girls think the same as this, as well.
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Yeah, I think I am introverted. The thing is, I don't know how a normal conversation should go with a random person.. right now, I have information and a subject to go on but talking with a girl or some random guy.. I have no idea... you cant talk about a banana for 3 hours.. I come clueless to be able to ask them questions... maybe its because I don't care what they have to say or I just cant seem to flow from one question to another.. I know what I should ask like How are you, where you from, fav color.. ect.. ect.. but at a point it just starts to feel like an interview with no real flow to it.

But thanks for your help anon.
 
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