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sunnyboo

Member
hi iam a 27 year old mixed race woman from maidstone kent and ive had social anxiety since i was 11 made worse by being bullied every day at school.I left school at 16 and i was unable to leave the house for years after because i felt embarrassed,ugly and humiliated and i just wanted to disappear, when i did leave the house when people spoke to me or saw me they would say i came across aggressive which made it worse and made me reluctant to ever talk to anyone at all.I got a job at 23 at a nursery its very long hours and is very stressful ive worked there for 4 years but haven't really made any friends partly because iam so self conscious i dont really know how to carry myself when iam around people. I have cried myself to sleep every night since i was 16 because even though i still live at home with my mum, stepdad and stepsister i have no friends and have never had a boyfriend and the loneliness is killing me .ive been on fluoxitine and every anti- depessiant there is but they've done nothin for me .I had no idea s.a.d existed i only found out i had it when i searched google for my symptoms it was such a relief and to find out other people have this condition made me feel so much better about myself.
 

mixedupgirl

Well-known member
Hi Sunny,

Welcome to the forum. I am a 27 year old female livin up North in West Yorkshire. I'm very sorry you are having such a hard time. I had no idea about social anxiety either till I read a book that contained info on the symptoms. So don't worry you are normal and you are not alone. The aggressiveness is your way of protecting yourself. A lot of people would tell you I am aggressive but in reality I am not I have been like that in the past so that people will think I am unapproachable and leave me alone. And I guarantee you are not ugly that is just the beliefs the bullies have implanted. If medication is not helping with anxiety have you thought about a counselor or psychologist for CBT? There is no medication out there that will rid you of SA you need to change your thought pattern a hard and lengthy process...

And can I just say its fantastic you've got a job, I know you haven't made friends there but its great that you've been there for 4 years. The longest job I have had is 3 years because of my SA. If your job is too stressful though, have you considered a job change?
 

sunnyboo

Member
Hi Sunny,

Welcome to the forum. I am a 27 year old female livin up North in West Yorkshire. I'm very sorry you are having such a hard time. I had no idea about social anxiety either till I read a book that contained info on the symptoms. So don't worry you are normal and you are not alone. The aggressiveness is your way of protecting yourself. A lot of people would tell you I am aggressive but in reality I am not I have been like that in the past so that people will think I am unapproachable and leave me alone. And I guarantee you are not ugly that is just the beliefs the bullies have implanted. If medication is not helping with anxiety have you thought about a counselor or psychologist for CBT? There is no medication out there that will rid you of SA you need to change your thought pattern a hard and lengthy process...

And can I just say its fantastic you've got a job, I know you haven't made friends there but its great that you've been there for 4 years. The longest job I have had is 3 years because of my SA. If your job is too stressful though, have you considered a job change?
ive been to 3 different Councillors and they did nothing to help iam currently looking for a new job but its very difficult
 

mixedupgirl

Well-known member
ive been to 3 different Councillors and they did nothing to help iam currently looking for a new job but its very difficult

Yeah I know its difficult to change jobs not to mention the lack of employment out there. If councillor's didn't help maybe psychologist might be better option for CBT or finding a local SA meet up group? There are plenty to talk to on here anyway.
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Try online dating! There's so many great single men and women (like yourself) that feel hopeless. You just need to get yourself out there. I heard shypassions is good.

I'm going to start doing this soon myself!
 

mixedupgirl

Well-known member
what exactly do you doubt?

Yeah I asked him (cursedsoul) this in a pm and he said and i quote " it's a popular joke around here to ask if you are working or not lol, nothin serious here"
It obviously doesn't mean that at all. He doesn't even know me so how he thinks he can have doubts about me is quite baffling to be honest. If he has any doubts/problems then he should pm me, instead of trying to cause some kind of argument on a public forum.
 

PGT

Well-known member
I have tried shypassions its quite a strange site I would give that a miss.
Try Oasis or okcupid these seem OK.
 

PGT

Well-known member
I was just going to ask what cursedsoul was getting at with that response. Probably the strangest reply I have seen on here.
What does it matter if people are in employment or not? I don't get it.
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
I have tried shypassions its quite a strange site I would give that a miss.
Try Oasis or okcupid these seem OK.

Never heard of Oasis. I'll have to check them both out. With so many good single people out there, truth is none of us should be single.
I have to stop letting my self loathing and lack of confidence get in the way-nothing attractive about that!
 
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