I want to start off my saying this site is a Godsend. It makes me feel better to know Im not alone with this.
I stumbled upon AvPd when I was trying to get a handle on what I thought was weird symptoms..I thought maybe I was the only one. I already knew I had Social Phobia and am on medication, Celexa, by the way it worked good for me at first, but then I start getting used to it and have to up the dosage, if I go up anymore I'll be on the highest dosage, then I'll get used to that and my psychiatrist will probably change my med.
But anyway, the hesitant speech is what made me realize I have Avpd. I couldnt figure out why when I did talk to people, it was like I was straining..or I would say a few words and feel pooped out..like I couldnt have a free flowing conversation. I was so caught up monitering myself and others that I couldnt just "talk". There are times I suddenly feel like "Im walking on eggshells around people" I stop and wonder why i do this? I tell myself to just relax but it doesn't work. I walk around timid for no reason, I think before I speak and sometimes I end up not saying anything because I thought about it too much that after a while if I talk it will sound forced and people will notice. I sometimes feel avoidant around people for no reason at all..even family members, in my mind I'll think, uh oh I have to walk past them, or I want to keep my door closed..like Im hiding from people. The worst thing is, is when I think people notice Im avoiding them..I think they end up avoiding me or feeling weird in my presence..if someone seems like their not paying attention to me, like a family memeber or people at work I'll think its all my fault..I pushed them away, their sensing my weird vibe. I'm just tired of feeling bad about myself and then guilty if I made others feel that way or they sense it. Its a bad cycle.
I stumbled upon AvPd when I was trying to get a handle on what I thought was weird symptoms..I thought maybe I was the only one. I already knew I had Social Phobia and am on medication, Celexa, by the way it worked good for me at first, but then I start getting used to it and have to up the dosage, if I go up anymore I'll be on the highest dosage, then I'll get used to that and my psychiatrist will probably change my med.
But anyway, the hesitant speech is what made me realize I have Avpd. I couldnt figure out why when I did talk to people, it was like I was straining..or I would say a few words and feel pooped out..like I couldnt have a free flowing conversation. I was so caught up monitering myself and others that I couldnt just "talk". There are times I suddenly feel like "Im walking on eggshells around people" I stop and wonder why i do this? I tell myself to just relax but it doesn't work. I walk around timid for no reason, I think before I speak and sometimes I end up not saying anything because I thought about it too much that after a while if I talk it will sound forced and people will notice. I sometimes feel avoidant around people for no reason at all..even family members, in my mind I'll think, uh oh I have to walk past them, or I want to keep my door closed..like Im hiding from people. The worst thing is, is when I think people notice Im avoiding them..I think they end up avoiding me or feeling weird in my presence..if someone seems like their not paying attention to me, like a family memeber or people at work I'll think its all my fault..I pushed them away, their sensing my weird vibe. I'm just tired of feeling bad about myself and then guilty if I made others feel that way or they sense it. Its a bad cycle.