danielgrear
New member
Hi People
I just thought i would share with you my own personal plan to tackle blushing that i recently started. Please feel free to comment, add ideas.
I call it my seven point plan. I keep the seven points written on a small piece of paper in my wallet which helps me to remember it should i come unstuck.
1. Annouce it
The idea behind this is that if you anounce it and say "im going red", the shamefull feeling that sometimes comes with it seems to disappear and it also saves whoever your with shouting "he has gone red" which makes it worst. beat them to it
2.Reward it
Whenever im about to enter a situation where i think i could go red, i think, if i do, im gunna take 5 pounds out my savings and spend on a treat. a magazine? a part for my rc plane? some wine? whatever. you have to apply this consistently and soon you welcome blushing cos your getting a good reward for it. it breaks the cycle of fearing it to which can make it worse.
3.Join an on-line forum
This is why i joined here. to see i wasnt the only one, it nothing to be ashamed of and be inspired by other people courage.
4.continue with mantra and mckenna
i bought some mala beads from ebay. they are great when saying matras cos they help you keep focussed. 4 quid delivered from china. worth every penny. i say mantras in my head like "im in control" over and over again. it really does make you feel incontrol something that blushing can convince you you arent. also, i say things like "im a blusher". this gets rid of the emabarassment factor. I tend to do this with the beads in my pocket so i just look like im walking along the street.Vain i know
the mckenna part is paul mckenna. get his name typed in ebay or amazon. pay a few quid for his book and cd. working for me.
5.Remind myself of the positives
blushing for me made me feel unattractive. I though no-one would like me. then i started to think about the positives associated with blushing- you dont look pale and pasty and unhealthy. People think you are more trustworthy- there is a sense that you can tell when a blusher is lying therefore people feel close to you. I currentyly have a gorgeous sweet girlfriend and im not sure if she would be with if she didnt see this sensitive side. Also, people seem to find it endearing. people warm to blushers, they want to care for you lol.
6. continue to do things that make you happy
for me blushing wasnt helped by general anxiety and unhappiness. they feed off each other. i started to consistently take care of myself several years ago. if you think you might need help with this, i cant recommend this book enough- "the monk who sold his ferrari" changed my life. i now run and play sport, open up to people, watch what i eat and i feel great.
7. diary progress
i use the notes section on my mobile to note down any progress i see such as feeling less anxious when going into a situation that would normally make me blush. i then copy this weekly to a word doc on my comp and gain encouragement from seeing the steps and progress made.
I just thought i would share with you my own personal plan to tackle blushing that i recently started. Please feel free to comment, add ideas.
I call it my seven point plan. I keep the seven points written on a small piece of paper in my wallet which helps me to remember it should i come unstuck.
1. Annouce it
The idea behind this is that if you anounce it and say "im going red", the shamefull feeling that sometimes comes with it seems to disappear and it also saves whoever your with shouting "he has gone red" which makes it worst. beat them to it
2.Reward it
Whenever im about to enter a situation where i think i could go red, i think, if i do, im gunna take 5 pounds out my savings and spend on a treat. a magazine? a part for my rc plane? some wine? whatever. you have to apply this consistently and soon you welcome blushing cos your getting a good reward for it. it breaks the cycle of fearing it to which can make it worse.
3.Join an on-line forum
This is why i joined here. to see i wasnt the only one, it nothing to be ashamed of and be inspired by other people courage.
4.continue with mantra and mckenna
i bought some mala beads from ebay. they are great when saying matras cos they help you keep focussed. 4 quid delivered from china. worth every penny. i say mantras in my head like "im in control" over and over again. it really does make you feel incontrol something that blushing can convince you you arent. also, i say things like "im a blusher". this gets rid of the emabarassment factor. I tend to do this with the beads in my pocket so i just look like im walking along the street.Vain i know
the mckenna part is paul mckenna. get his name typed in ebay or amazon. pay a few quid for his book and cd. working for me.5.Remind myself of the positives
blushing for me made me feel unattractive. I though no-one would like me. then i started to think about the positives associated with blushing- you dont look pale and pasty and unhealthy. People think you are more trustworthy- there is a sense that you can tell when a blusher is lying therefore people feel close to you. I currentyly have a gorgeous sweet girlfriend and im not sure if she would be with if she didnt see this sensitive side. Also, people seem to find it endearing. people warm to blushers, they want to care for you lol.
6. continue to do things that make you happy
for me blushing wasnt helped by general anxiety and unhappiness. they feed off each other. i started to consistently take care of myself several years ago. if you think you might need help with this, i cant recommend this book enough- "the monk who sold his ferrari" changed my life. i now run and play sport, open up to people, watch what i eat and i feel great.
7. diary progress
i use the notes section on my mobile to note down any progress i see such as feeling less anxious when going into a situation that would normally make me blush. i then copy this weekly to a word doc on my comp and gain encouragement from seeing the steps and progress made.
