To lie or not to lie...

[TheNewZero]

My teacher just emailed the whole class saying that she needs drivers for a trip that we're taking next month. She said that everyone had to respond saying if they drove to school or not, and if they do they will need to take students in their car. I have a really small car and am sort of freaking out about the idea of having people go in it. Between the tight space and me getting anxiety over if I'm driving right, I really, really don't know what to do. Should I lie to her and say I don't drive? Or should I just not respond and see if other people step up to drive? I feel really bad, but I don't really think I could handle having people I don't know in my car.

 

[lurknomore]

I don't think you should be forced to have people in your car if you're not comfortable with it. But, I think you're also probably taking it too seriously- I don't think the teacher probably means that everyone who can drive absolutely has too- so don't feel guilty. I would probably just not respond, because I wouldn't feel comfortable lying. And then if the teacher is still looking for more drivers, perhaps you could just say that yes you drive, but you would not be comfortable doing it (just to the teacher- he/she should understand). Plus, you wouldn't be able to transport too many people anyway. So I wouldn't worry too much about it.

 

[TheNewZero]

I don't think you should be forced to have people in your car if you're not comfortable with it. But, I think you're also probably taking it too seriously- I don't think the teacher probably means that everyone who can drive absolutely has too- so don't feel guilty. I would probably just not respond, because I wouldn't feel comfortable lying. And then if the teacher is still looking for more drivers, perhaps you could just say that yes you drive, but you would not be comfortable doing it (just to the teacher- he/she should understand). Plus, you wouldn't be able to transport too many people anyway. So I wouldn't worry too much about it.

The title of the email is "IMPORTANT PLEASE READ, REPLY NEEDED". I think I'm just not going to respond. I really don't like lying, but I don't feel comfortable at all with this whole driving business. If she approaches me about it at class I suppose I'll have to tell her the truth....

 

[lurknomore]

The title of the email is "IMPORTANT PLEASE READ, REPLY NEEDED". I think I'm just not going to respond. I really don't like lying, but I don't feel comfortable at all with this whole driving business. If she approaches me about it at class I suppose I'll have to tell her the truth....

Just tell her the truth- I don't think it will be a big deal, and no one can twist your arm. If you have a small car anyway I don't think she'll push the issue- of course I don't know your teacher, but I couldn't see any of my professors or past teachers being that pushy. In any case, she should be able to respect your wishes. But, I would probably wait until I was approached about it. You're probably not going to be the only one not responding right away, and if she gets enough drivers, that will probably be the end of it anyway.

 

[RedRibbons]

Yea. Be honest. Tell her you're not comfortable driving people. It's not a big deal. Teachers need to be understanding and if she's not.. Well you need to speak with someone who's higher up for her lack of respect.

 

[lurknomore]

I had another thought- while she may have worded her e-mail to make it sound somewhat mandatory, I think what she's really looking for is volunteers who drive and have a vehicle and wouldn't mind driving for the trip. If your trip is coming up soon, then she probably didn't want to just say it like she was asking for volunteers because she probably wouldn't get a quick enough response- by wording the e-mail the way she did, it will more likely get a quicker response from those who are able and willing.

 

[Rise Against]

Maybe you should volunteer to drive. I know it would be very awkward and uncomfortable but maybe it would help you to overcome your social anxiety.

 

[TheNewZero]

I had another thought- while she may have worded her e-mail to make it sound somewhat mandatory, I think what she's really looking for is volunteers who drive and have a vehicle and wouldn't mind driving for the trip. If your trip is coming up soon, then she probably didn't want to just say it like she was asking for volunteers because she probably wouldn't get a quick enough response- by wording the e-mail the way she did, it will more likely get a quicker response from those who are able and willing.

Mmm perhaps. Hopefully there will be a fair amount of people who can drive. But do you really think she would understand me not wanting to drive? I mean how weird is that?

 

[lurknomore]

Mmm perhaps. Hopefully there will be a fair amount of people who can drive. But do you really think she would understand me not wanting to drive? I mean how weird is that?

I'm not sure it would be as weird as you think. How far is the drive for the trip? And would it involve any interstate driving or other things that might make some drivers uneasy? You might not be the only one uncomfortable. And even if it is just around the corner or something, it's really your perogative as to whether you want to drive. She should respect that. But Rise Against may have a point as well- maybe putting yourself out there and volunteering to put yourself through this experience would help you. Or another option would be to see if there is someone else who drives but maybe doesn't have their own vehicle who could drive your car (as long you were comfortable with that of course). But I really don't think it's going to come down to your teacher pressuring you to drive if you don't want to.