Do you really wanna cure social anxiety?

Why? I mean, don't you love loneliness, privacy, etc.?

Doesn't your secret identity generate some kind of pride for living? I am such a fucking dead duck in social situations, very shy person with tendency of collapsing mentally in minor social situations. But now then I think it's not "bad". Now I feel good being alone, gives me time to think about "life" from philosophical perspective. Gives you a separate outlook towards the world. Don't you think?

I mean, who wants to hang out with bunch of assholes, laugh and agree with each other about pointless issues that make no difference to practical lives?

I don't think of SA as a personal trait, I think it's really just a barrier. I tend to philosophize a lot but I could do that without SA/depression, and it'd probably be a lot more balanced/less negative.

Also, social interaction is a human need. So that's why people 'laugh and agree with each other about pointless issues that make no difference to practical lives' I guess.

I agree with Chris that it's not a personality trait. Nothing pisses me off more than when someone introduces me and says I'm shy or quiet, then that person treats you completely different and because it was put out there the barrier goes up instantly without you having a chance.

Anyway I know what you're saying about not wanting to cure SAD. I get the same way. When it get's extremely intense and I get really depressed and isolated I want nothing more than to get over it. But when I feel like I'm getting over it and doing alright, than I just feel like everyone else, another brick in the wall, like there's nothing special about me and I wish I had that fear back, because ultimately when I'm held down by that fear I produce alot artistically and wouldn't be where I am now with illustration if it weren't for SAD.

I want to cure my social anxiety. I'm all for having privacy and time to ponder life, but what good is pondering life if you never live it? Without some sort of a social life or source of joy I see little purpose in my own existence. I do find that when I am actually around people that it isn't anywhere near what it's cracked up to be, but neither is being alone. Right now I'm going nowhere fast as a lonely soul, and can see no reason to wake up in the mornings.

If I could cure it I would, and right now I'm trying everything I can to find something that works for me. I'm outgoing at heart and having SA is pure tourcher. Yes I like to have my peace here and there but I don't need pretty much all day everyday. I just need an hour or two most days and not everyday, and you can still find that much time for yourself without SA.

stalker_in_sydney said:

Why? I mean, don't you love loneliness, privacy, etc.?

Doesn't your secret identity generate some kind of pride for living? I am such a fucking dead duck in social situations, very shy person with tendency of collapsing mentally in minor social situations. But now then I think it's not "bad". Now I feel good being alone, gives me time to think about "life" from philosophical perspective. Gives you a separate outlook towards the world. Don't you think?

I mean, who wants to hang out with bunch of assholes, laugh and agree with each other about pointless issues that make no difference to practical lives?

Click to expand...

I feel the same way. I like not being normal, it does give me some kind of pride for living. I've created this whole little world I live in and I like it. I like looking from the outside in, it gives you a totally different perspective on everything. This whole phobia thing is frustrating sometimes, but for some reason I kinda like it. When I'm around most people I can't stand them anyway, so who cares if this phobia goes away really. Sometimes I think it'd be nice to have friends, a girlfriend, but then I'd have to spend time with them and devote a lot of myself to them...I don't know, I like my solitude. If you would have asked me ten years ago I would have said yes I want to cure it, but now, I don't know.

You're quite synonymous with my feelings zootdroop. I feel the same way. I feel proud being different. People generally laugh at you because you're different, I laugh at them because they're all the same.

And it doesn't mean I wanna lock myself up in the closet forever... I go out alot infact. I love nature, beaches, clubs, drinking, hookers, strippers... I love it.

But dating, relationships, friendships, etc... I'm not in it at all. On second thought, friendship is fine. But no strings attached.

I'm so fucking self aware, I would like to cure this shit.

I'm perfectly happy to be an introvert but I hate social anxiety. I hate feeling judged by everyone and like I'm never good enough for anybody. I hate feeling like the only reason I'm living is to avoid hurting people. It sucks.

It would be easier if I truly were all alone and had nobody to hurt and then I could just kill myself.

obviously i dont want to have social phobia, clearly not enough though as i have done nothing about it, but that applies to most things i want.

Being shy and introverted is different to being social phobic. I would be perfectly happy being shy and introverted but when one feels intense anxiety that's when it becomes social phobia. I know of shy people who have tons of friends and have social lives.

I remember as a kid when my dad used to tell people ''He's just shy..He'll grow out of it''....And guess what i never grew out of it...Instead it turned to this dreadfull anxiety.

I don't care about being and extrovert because there are basically two personality types(introvett and extrovert) and some of us are born either way, i just want to live life without anxiety that's all.

stalker_in_sydney said:

Why? I mean, don't you love loneliness, privacy, etc.?

Doesn't your secret identity generate some kind of pride for living? I am such a fucking dead duck in social situations, very shy person with tendency of collapsing mentally in minor social situations. But now then I think it's not "bad". Now I feel good being alone, gives me time to think about "life" from philosophical perspective. Gives you a separate outlook towards the world. Don't you think?

I mean, who wants to hang out with bunch of assholes, laugh and agree with each other about pointless issues that make no difference to practical lives?

Click to expand...

You don't need SA to be like that. You only 'need' to be an introvert. The difference is that you will still prefer your own company in many situations, but you won't have the terrible anxiety in social life.

If a total miracle happened and i woke up one morning without social anxiety, i would be normal. Not a socialite - but just normal. I would go to school and get better grades, because, without my anxiety, i'd be able to concentrate better and work in teams better. I'd hang around with my friends a bit more, be a bit more daring and speak my mind more often etc. etc. But i wouldn't go totally mad, start spending every second of my waking life at parties or in clubs. Because that isn't what i enjoy. I like relaxing at home listening to some music and reading a book, or going out for coffee with my friends (something i wish i had the guts to do more often) I just wouldn't be a mad party-animal or whatever, because that isn't me. The main thing my anxiety gets in the way in is my education: i skip classes all the time, can't concentrate when i'm in exams, that sort of thing. Also, i would love to take piano lessons, but i'm too anxious to. Anxiety also stops me from making deep connections with people - i've got one "best friend", so to speak, who is a lifesaver, and i completely depend on her, and about three other close friends. I wish i could let my guard down enough to get to know other people.

Basically, if my anxiety dissapeared, my life would change, but my personality wouldn't. I'd still be quite quiet and introverted - but that's good! Who wants to be a loud-mouth obnoxious bastard anyway?

Of course it is worth it to have social phobia cured or able to cope with. Why wold anyone want to live out the rest of their life alone. One will have to be successfully social to procreate and be able to progress in their career. Not all people have pointless conversations. Some conversations are very important and vital to our lives. Don't give up and call the grapes sour. Socializing is the base of our existence. You don't have to be Mr. popular but it would be rewarding to communicate with love ones and co-workers efficiently.