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Old 10-30-2008
cobalt_bluester's Avatar
Advanced User

Hi there. I was wondering if anybody has experienced the same (or similar) situation to me. Basically, I suffer for a whole host of things including depression, social anxiety / phobia and stress - lovely I know!!! I've now had this for about the last 20 years or so to varying degrees and have come to realise that this is just something I have to try and live with no matter how hard that is.

I'm still (just about) managing to keep going into work, but I can't help thinking that people seem to be avoiding me / ignoring me. I don't know if this is my paranoia at play, but it does genuinely seem this way to me, and this is making me feel even more depressed and also a bit angry and resentful towards those people. It's like I am being judged for being ill if you know what I mean, and I feel that if they were in my shoes they would see it this way too.

If you have experienced or are experiencing a similar situation to me please, please get in touch as I am desperate for some moral support and hoping for some new friends - something I have very little of indeed at the moment. Am feeling pretty damn isolated too.

Take care, and hoping to hear from you all.
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Old 10-30-2008
JonnyD's Avatar
Advanced User

i don't really know how to help, just can say that i've felt this way before, but not in a totally familiar place like my work, i think whenever i'm in a new place i feel somewhat like everybody is trying to get rid of me...

i guess sometimes people try to avoid me, i've tryied to avoid people before because i wasn't in the mood to have a chat or something... this is natural. but when you think everybody is going to avoid you then it being paranoid.

the real problem is how we feel about it, it's like its aways our problem and not the others... when it's not the truth
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Old 10-30-2008
Newbie User

yeh ur probs just being paranoid, inless uve told people about ur problems then why would they be avoiding u about it and hate u about it? also its probs best people dont know about ur problems, because when ur ill u dont want to be treated like a victim, u wanted to be treated like everyone else.
your alright mate. just try and keep ya head up
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Old 10-30-2008

yes. I feel like the whole world f*cking hates me . THE ENTIRE F*CKING WORLD whether it's unconscious, subcnoscious, conscious, or they think I am a joke or beneath them.
I really hate thinking this way but that's the way it seems. Nobody understands me, I have absolutely nothing in common with anyone except that I am ..... living in a shared existence. anyway.

I dont know wtf Im saying it's just so f*cking pathetic.
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Old 10-31-2008
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Newbie User

I also am able to go to work, haven't called in sick in 20 years, for me I'm lucky because work is one of my safehavens. I fear if I do call in it my become habitual. New people avoid me, must be the aura that surrounds me. I really haven't had much to smile about for years, so the look on my face doesn't help me be approachable. People have told me they want to hang signs around my neck so they can tell what kind of mood I'm in, because my demeanor never changes, always stays calm even when others faced with the same situations are not. I've overheard people say that guy creeps me out. And I heard people defend me, saying why? He's a really nice guy, you just haven't gotten to know him yet. I really am no threat to anyone, just I'm careful around new people (shy). I have never self-disclosed my mental health problems to anyone I work with. I appear very confidant to the people I work with. Mental illness is a hidden disability in most and not likely to be noticed, only when there are visible psychiatric symptoms or when there's a difficulty resulting from the disability that occurs do people start to take notice. If you self-disclosed then people will avoid you, it's the stigma associated with mental illness, that they fear, not you. People think of mental illness as what they can see and see on TV the visible psychiatric symptoms. You know as well as I do, that shit is scary, people flipping out or talking to themselves, hearing voices. That's what people think of, I wouldn't take it personal, they have no idea what to say, and there's nobody to educate them, only you can do that. My own parents won't talk to me about it, they don't understand, they just keep telling me, "keep your head up things will get better", like they're talking me through a breakup with an ex-girlfriend or something. 1 out of 3 people are supposed to have some type of mental illness, so unless there's only 3 people where you work, somebody is in your shoes. I am very selective when I self-disclose, only as much as I want, only when I feel absolutely comfortable in doing so. Most importantly only if I feel that I can help the person that I'm disclosing to so they can benefit from it, so they know there not alone.
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Old 11-01-2008
hayashi's Avatar
Newbie User

I feel the exact same way as you! :o

Usually if I am being avoided by so called "friends" I just stop talking to them. I know it may be hard to find new friends but I would suggest try talking to people elsewhere. If you like I could become your friend or something? I just started looking for friends this year and its working out okay so far. :?
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Old 11-07-2008
shygurl's Avatar
Newbie User

When people find out how quiet i am they tend to stay away from me, cant say i blame them though pretty hard having a conversation with by themselves.
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Old 11-10-2008
Triselle's Avatar
Newbie User

People tend to ignore me alot, and it feels like i'm a outcast. But ive known it alot because ive never been the center of attention and I dont plan to be, if i ever do it would coem across gossip. Sometimes these things happen because you are shy or you think your a boring person, like I do. The solution is to just bond with people and talk to them about what you and they like and you might start a conversation with them.
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Old 11-11-2008
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Newbie User

it depends how u look at this situatation. coz say if you look miserable, u keep ur head down and u act nervous, people think theres a reason for that, rather than being mentally ill. they think maybe ur miserable because ur just a miserable person, or you just dont like yourself. nearly all people r attrached to people with confidence, and thats not because wow that people must be really mentally well! its because when someone else is confident, it makes you feel better about yourself when your with them, it also makes talking to them 50% more easier (the other 50% being you)
i mean people generally talk to people who they know there just gonna get a conversation out of, not always because they happen to really really like that person.
its like for example using myself. when i had to choose someone to work with in a school project, and it was either my worst enemy or someone i know i cant really talk to, or doesnt wanna talk to me just mealy coz were different people, ill pick my worst enemey. coz id rather have that little bit of conflict to make it more exciting than have no stimulation at all. maybe im just a wierdo. lol. i dunno. but thats how i see it.
most people will admit they enjoy it when the arsehole turns up for the meeting because number one its funny and number two hating someone is something to do! and so is argueing!
so its not about whether people like u or not, because people might think ur a great person, its more whether u stimulate them.
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Old 11-11-2008
colourscolours's Avatar
Newbie User

yes....on a particular day me and my friend were supposed to go for a school speech given by a special guest.of course you can obviously ditch it but my room mate wanted to go because it is going to be festive so she asked me to go with fine,i went to iron my clothes and was about time to go.but you know with these 'important' guests,they always show up i asked her to wait for a little while since i was straightening my hair.she said ok since she was also waiting for another i was cleaning up and smoothen my clothes the other friend came.i hurriedly rushed over to the mirror to do a final check.she then screamed my name and i swear put on her shoes and walked away with the other friend.she didn't even look back to see if i was ok.scream my name as she was struggling to wear her strappy heels and when she succeed,went out the door and walked pause in between at all!then about 10 feet infront of me she screamed for me to hurried on.all the way towards the venue she did not turn even once to look back or wait for me.when we nearly reach the venue and when i finally catch up i realized i was wearing sneakers which was labeled as a NO-NO for the night.i was cursing and damn i begged them to hide and cover me.they said ok and walked on.i said about my worry once again to which they did not reply.when we were at the venue they walked so casually that they don't even cover my when we were lining up my friend was talking to someone else behind her and leaving my footwear naked for all to see.later during the event she shifted seats with the other friend without even telling me.i feel she could at least inform me since we were seated far away from our friends and the seats beside us were vacant with a few couples which decided to stay as she was about to shift again,she had the courtesy to give me a subtle hint-asking me to take care of her purse for the time being.i was so pissed i just went in front to search my friends.i was probably sensitive but nonetheless i felt so ignored.
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Old 01-15-2009
Quickslash's Avatar
Newbie User

I try to avoid/ignore people actually. When I go out(lol) I don't go up to people...don't make eye contact(less than a second or 2)...and don't talk to people unless they are a store clerk/in my way/talk to me first so...yeah.

I was thinking next time just going up to random girls and saying "hi"...that's all. lolz
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Old 01-15-2009

you know.. is it me or do I just not care so much about confidence in other people. I think the media dictates what is and what isn't attractive these days...

i mean.... of course if it's not too excessive, but a little doubt, or simply because you believe other people's criticisms because you think a majority may not like you.. that's fine. maybe he/she has yet to discover the good in him/herself. Maybe he/she needs help seeing themselves.
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Old 04-15-2009

the simple way of treatment is to avoid people who ignores you & one final day they will know the importance of you & they will sure come to you !

I have tried this
but actually they didn't came to me but some other thing happened to me and it is , I have a recognition in people who avoid me they can feel my presence , and its better than before

It takes time but do it
Old 05-01-2009

This is how it started with me. I felt that when I talk 'they' didnt want to listen.
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Old 05-02-2009
DaaaBulls's Avatar
Intermediate User

I agree with release, a lot of this certain type of mindset has to do with the depression. When I was depressed I thought that everyone disliked me. EVERYONE. I thought that everyone was plotting something against me or talking about me. I mean even in a random place and if a group of people started laughing and whispering I thought they were talking about me. No one is out to get you. In all honesty no one probably really even cares one way of the other unless you are friends or family with them. Depression can make the brain think some crazy thoughts.
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