Desperate for a girlfriend

Hey look. I too can relate. I'm at the age where, just having another woman who loves me and having a child to care for whom I can love and will give me meaning to life would bring absolute tears to my eyes and make me reborn.
But you have to love yourself first. If you don't, no one else will, and all of the fantasies you have will never come true. Sounds like common sense, but the key is loving yourself and realizing you are like everyone else, only unique. And in a way that whatever anyone else thinks about it, it doesn't matter, because you accept and appreciate yourself for who you are. And what that is is someone special.

What I mean is, yes. A woman will complete me. But I (and you) have to be able to justify and be happy with your own self first.

Get interested in living and chances are women will find you interesting. Get interested in living and sometimes worrying about the opposite sex shrinks into the distance. You might be too busy enjoying things to obsess about whether you're dating or not. And then someone comes along by surprise ,and you might ask will entering into a relationship with that person improve my life.

The above is where my life is at.

the most desperate you are the more likely are they to think you lack confidence, women love confident men no matter what, they might tell you that they like cute, sensitive and shy guys bla bla, but apparently they always end up going for a "bad-boy" if they can

RelentlessHamster said:

the most desperate you are the more likely are they to think you lack confidence, women love confident men no matter what, they might tell you that they like cute, sensitive and shy guys bla bla, but apparently they always end up going for a "bad-boy" if they can

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Thing is you've got to be who you are, and not change yourself for a girl, you dont want to be changing yourself to fit a girls standards then you lose yourself and pretty much have to pretend to be something your not, Just be yourself completely not all girls will like you but the ones that do will be amazing and most likely will have a similar sort of personality, It'll be amazing.. =)

I know I am just saying that statistically speaking ... that's what happens

I rather be who I am than changing who I am in order to get something, my own identity is more important than getting laid for instance xP the worst thing is not knowing who you are.

Of course not all girls are like this I meant the majority of them

anxiety1408 said:

Thing is you've got to be who you are, and not change yourself for a girl, you dont want to be changing yourself to fit a girls standards then you lose yourself and pretty much have to pretend to be something your not, Just be yourself completely not all girls will like you but the ones that do will be amazing and most likely will have a similar sort of personality, It'll be amazing.. =)

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If all you've ever done is to be yourself and it hasn't gotten you laid, it's time to improve the strategy (eg. learn social skills) a bit.

First and foremost, man i can feel the intensity of your words, it feels like you have hit rock bottom with your anxiety. I would like to urge you not to give up, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Am 27 yrs old, I have had social anxiety since as early as i can remember. It have been very awful, many times I have though am the weakest guy on earth,i have though i would never make it.

I started CBT sometimes early last year, when i was starting, i felt completely just like you have explained. I was very hopeless, but very determined to overcome this monster. so using a manual i found on a certain website "www.cci.health.wa.gov.au" titled Overcoming shyness, i was able to have a different viewpoint of social situations. looking back 1 yr later, i don't even consider myself a phobic guy anymore, i am enjoying life much better.

My point is, I does not matter how bad you feel right now, there is hope, you just have to be positive despite those really bad experiences. You gotta fight on.

I think it’s hard for anyone who’s depressed and going through a lot emotionally to be let down by other people, even if it is over the Internet. It doesn’t exactly help when you have insecurities either. Trust me when I say this, when people let me down online and stop talking to me, I start to question myself, “What’s wrong with my personality and appearance?” I think what you and I need to realize is, we’re not everybody’s type, appearance and personality wise. If a woman online stops talking to you, try not to take it personal. In other words, don’t beat yourself up and say, “See, I’m going to be lonely until the day I die”, because that’s not the truth. You also have to keep in mind, these woman online all have different motivates and wants, and just because you don’t fulfill those, doesn’t mean you’re any less or not good enough. Stay true to who you are, because somebody out there will like you for your interest, likes/dislikes, etc.

Before I end this, I do want to give you a little tip or I guess you could call it a heads up. I was really lonely at one point until I found the girl I’m with now. The only problem is, I’m not able to fulfill her needs because of what I’m going through emotionally at the moment. Sure, she loves me and cares about me when I’m going through rough moments, but I know for sure she would like to get out of the house more, laugh, and have somewhat of a stable relationship. What I’m saying is, make sure when you find a girl or when you’re looking for one, you’re ready for a relationship and you can also fulfill her needs too. Don’t just get in a relationship because you’re lonely and want to make it go away, because it will most likely end before it starts.

My best advice to you is, stay true to who you are and share yourself with the world. Don’t let these woman online make you feel less just because they stop talking to you, it’s just not what they’re looking for. And remember, you don’t have to have every personality trait or be a jack of all trades to be a well like, lovable, and enjoyable guy! Just know when you find love and that girl you’ve been looking for, she’ll love you for all of you, not just what you wanted her to think you were!