Anybody live with people that drive them nuts?

Hi, I haven't been diagnosed with agoraphobia...but I feel I have it.

Anyway, I spend basically 98% percent of my life in my room. The other 2% is when I walk around the house and rarely go out.

I have lived with my grandparents and my mom and dad my entire life.

My mom and dad never had a house for themselves...they are poor, disabled, and on welfare/disability.

I myself am on welfare for psychological reasons...OCD/SP/GAD/...I dunno what else cause it's been 7 years since i've been to a psychiatrist to get analyzed.

Anyway onto the topic...I love my grandparents, but it's like having an extra set of parents...there are things they do that drives me nuts...even though it's small stuff...but feels so big since i'm always in the house.

I am grateful to have a home and not be out on the street or live in a project...which is where I would be if we didn't live here.

Grandmother is also a severe alcoholic so it is really frustrating. I know they probably feel the same way about us being here...they would like to be alone like we would.

Just had to vent...would like to hear some other peoples experiences living around other people all the time.

Thanks for reading.

Ha yes, myself! :roll:

I live with my mom and yeah we can kind of drive each other crazy sometimes.

Yes my dad. Sometimes it was like he couldn't just let me be. He always seemed so proud that he was 50 and i was 15.

Then there was my roommate. The messiest guy in the world. I had to clean up twice or trice more than usual with him around. I'm so glad that lease is up.

Quickslash said:

My mom and dad never had a house for themselves...they are poor, disabled, and on welfare/disability.

Grandmother is also a severe alcoholic so it is really frustrating.

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That must be really tough for you to cope with

I hate to live with my always-criticising parents, no matter how hard I try, every time I spend more than 5 minutes in the same room with them I leave annoyed bcause of all their stupid remarks, although I know they mean it well...

I definitely know what it's like. I've been living with my mom my whole life & taking care of her since '01. She had a stroke then & mentally, never fully recovered, so I do very nearly everything for her because of it.... Living with her is not easy. We argue a lot. Sometimes she behaves like a child.. purposefully.. not because her stroke left her with the mind of a child. She even basically throws temper tantrums when she doesn't get something she wants. It's really difficult because she treats me more like her mother that her daughter. It's terrible to have such role reversals going on. We should be living as two adults.. if anything I should be the one acting immature & spoiled, not her. She just clings to me. I don't have anyone to turn to with my problems because of it (therapists don't count, imo).

Because of my extreme SA/phobia, I've never had a job before & we live on the just over $600 per month she gets on SSI. I've been getting help & been going to a place that's been trying to help me find a job this past year, but I still don't have one.. because of my lack of experience. Another place I've been going to has been helping me with school & I'm going to be starting full-time on January 20th. Though I'm terrified & don't know how I'll handle it, I know it's my only hope for a future. It'll actually give me a chance to have my own life. I'll be living, if not with, then very close by her (like next door) forever because she'll always need me to pay her bills, manage her money, buy her groceries, etc. So, it's like I'm trapped. She's just soo dependent on me, it's crazy. I love my mom more than absolutely anything.. she's all I have.. but things just can't stay this way forever, it's not healthy for either of us. So, I definitely know what you're going through, though my situation's different.

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Good to hear i'm not alone on this.

Anybody know a contest to win a free house bills paid etc.? :lol:

playthepsychedelic said:

That must be really tough for you to cope with

I hate to live with my always-criticising parents, no matter how hard I try, every time I spend more than 5 minutes in the same room with them I leave annoyed bcause of all their stupid remarks, although I know they mean it well...

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I try to make my room as entertaining as possible lol...lots of DVDs/games.

Yeah me too! I dunno what it is but when the 3 of us are together it just doesn't work. Seems better when I talk to them 1 on 1.

lyricalliaisons said:

I definitely know what it's like. I've been living with my mom my whole life & taking care of her since '01. She had a stroke then & mentally, never fully recovered, so I do very nearly everything for her because of it.... Living with her is not easy. We argue a lot. Sometimes she behaves like a child.. purposefully.. not because her stroke left her with the mind of a child. She even basically throws temper tantrums when she doesn't get something she wants. It's really difficult because she treats me more like her mother that her daughter. It's terrible to have such role reversals going on. We should be living as two adults.. if anything I should be the one acting immature & spoiled, not her. She just clings to me. I don't have anyone to turn to with my problems because of it (therapists don't count, imo).

Because of my extreme SA/phobia, I've never had a job before & we live on the just over $600 per month she gets on SSI. I've been getting help & been going to a place that's been trying to help me find a job this past year, but I still don't have one.. because of my lack of experience. Another place I've been going to has been helping me with school & I'm going to be starting full-time on January 20th. Though I'm terrified & don't know how I'll handle it, I know it's my only hope for a future. It'll actually give me a chance to have my own life. I'll be living, if not with, then very close by her (like next door) forever because she'll always need me to pay her bills, manage her money, buy her groceries, etc. So, it's like I'm trapped. She's just soo dependent on me, it's crazy. I love my mom more than absolutely anything.. she's all I have.. but things just can't stay this way forever, it's not healthy for either of us. So, I definitely know what you're going through, though my situation's different.

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Good luck with school...I came to that same conclusion. The only way I'll be truly happy is having my own house, and being fully independent. I'm so far from that...it almost seems impossible to me.

Yea my dad drives me nuts. For the past couple of days he has been blaring this Peter Gabriel concert DVD at all hours of the day. If I hear "In your eyes" one more goddamn time I am going to snap.

Quickslash said:

lyricalliaisons said:

I definitely know what it's like. I've been living with my mom my whole life & taking care of her since '01. She had a stroke then & mentally, never fully recovered, so I do very nearly everything for her because of it.... Living with her is not easy. We argue a lot. Sometimes she behaves like a child.. purposefully.. not because her stroke left her with the mind of a child. She even basically throws temper tantrums when she doesn't get something she wants. It's really difficult because she treats me more like her mother that her daughter. It's terrible to have such role reversals going on. We should be living as two adults.. if anything I should be the one acting immature & spoiled, not her. She just clings to me. I don't have anyone to turn to with my problems because of it (therapists don't count, imo).

Because of my extreme SA/phobia, I've never had a job before & we live on the just over $600 per month she gets on SSI. I've been getting help & been going to a place that's been trying to help me find a job this past year, but I still don't have one.. because of my lack of experience. Another place I've been going to has been helping me with school & I'm going to be starting full-time on January 20th. Though I'm terrified & don't know how I'll handle it, I know it's my only hope for a future. It'll actually give me a chance to have my own life. I'll be living, if not with, then very close by her (like next door) forever because she'll always need me to pay her bills, manage her money, buy her groceries, etc. So, it's like I'm trapped. She's just soo dependent on me, it's crazy. I love my mom more than absolutely anything.. she's all I have.. but things just can't stay this way forever, it's not healthy for either of us. So, I definitely know what you're going through, though my situation's different.

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Good luck with school...I came to that same conclusion. The only way I'll be truly happy is having my own house, and being fully independent. I'm so far from that...it almost seems impossible to me.

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It still pretty much seems that way to me, but, with all the help I've received, I know now that it's really not.

I think the worst part of living with people is when you can't really talk to them about what pisses you off.

My grandmother for example...starts drinking whiskey as soon as she wakes up ( right now).

This has been going on since I was a 12, maybe longer, i'm 24 now. You can't talk to her about it or she will flip out. Deny everything.

I think she is really starting to lose all of her brain cells now.

She'll go smoke cigarettes in the designated smoking room...then spray aerosol air freshners everywhere...I actually am dizzy right now from breathing it in. We have a fan in there to suck the smoke out that works great but she won't use it cause she is cold.

Now I am sorry but that pisses me off...I have to breathe in 4,000 chemicals, proven to cause cancer, because you're cold? OK. The cold isn't going to slowly kill everyone in the house. Hell, even if nobody smoked...I don't care what temperature it is outside...I HAVE to open my window for at least 20 mins. When you're inside all the time, it feels refreshing to breathe in some fresh air...not stale carbon dioxide rich air.

Maybe I am over reacting...but I quit smoking TWICE. I want to live...I don't believe in afterlife...I dunno what happens. So I wanna live as long as possible. Smoke-phobia I guess...I seriously think i'm gonna die...alone, before I get a chance to actually do anything...that's my real fear.

It's like she tries to hide what she does...she will go as far as filling up the whiskey bottle with water to make it look like she doesn't drink as much as she does. Then if that's not bad enough, my grandfather is a gamble-holic and when he leaves she cries, plays oldies, screams curses drinks herself to sleep.

I live with my aunt and she drives me insane!!! She is always so peppy and happy from the time she wakes up in the morning until she goes to bed at night. I cannot stand it. When I get home from school I need quiet time to just relax and study. She comes home so loud acting all abnoxious. She's wanting to watch tv with me (we don't like to watch the same shows), sit and have dinner (i don't want to eat with her), or just ask me questions about how my day was (my days are always bad and I don't want to talk about them). I just have to make it through this semester of school because I will be moving out over the summer!!! Don't get me wrong, I love her and I appreciate her letting me live here but she is driving me up a wall.

I think I can relate to this topic. I'm not too sure. Anyways, I currently live with my bro and mom. They mean more to me than the entire world. I love them so much that I couldn't imagine living without them. But, they can both be a real pain to me. My mom drinks alot(I don't want to call her you-know-what for drinking everyday because it'll make me feel bad) and smokes too.

She does it even more when she is at home(with me :x ) and has nothing she wants to occupy herself with. It sickens me to the core. Sometimes she gets so depressed that she go on and on(to herself) about how she messed up in life, how she could have been an actress/singer if she didn't open her legs(making me feel guilty), how she could have been a happy person if she did this or that.

And she clings to me like a toddler. Just yesterday for example she found out that I planned to go to the Joe Louis Arena alone(to see the Royal Rumble btw) and she totally freaked out. She kept telling me that I wasn't going as if she decided my path for me. Now she plans on buying my bro tickets just so he can come with me as if he were my chaperon. And I'm thinking: "WHAT THE HELL!!??"

Every time she does this it makes me feel more scared of the world and more inclined to remain in my house for months. I'm frightened to get a job because of the way she clings to me. She doesn't know it but she makes me feel like I can't do the more independent things my bro does because he is male and I am female. Which makes me feel so damn inferior. I would talk about my bro now but I better do that in another post.... :?

Yes. My dad drives me out of my mind. He has problems with OCD as well (which he doesn't even realize).

I love my parents and I can't really say anything because they let me stay with them at 35 but my dad just retired and he simply won't relax. He vacuums every day. He notices every little thing and always has some comment about it that doesn't make any sense.

I was doing my laundry one day and I left the dryer door open for a minute while I went to get some more clothes and he (naturally) was right there to tell me not to leave the dryer door open because the dog might get in the dryer (WTF?).

The man can't cook. And when I say that, I mean he just has no sense of taste. In spite of the fact that I cook my own meals, he cooks at least twice a day and insists that I eat some of whatever he's cooked. And I mean some of this stuff is just nasty! For breakfast, he chops up tofu, fries it like eggs with onions in it and pours some kind of green gravy over it. Belch! Maybe it's healthy but it smells like a dog's butt and tastes worse!

He sprays Lysol into the intake vent for the furnace and that awful chemical stench immediately comes through my vent and just about knocks me over. He does this about 3 times a day, in spite of the fact that I've told him this stuff is basically poison to be breathing. Maybe it kills germs but if it kills germs, it probably kills people too. Obviously, I can't close my vent or I'll get no heat. Not only does he spray it in the furnace but he goes around to every room he can get into and fills it with a big cloud of Lysol

He also stays in the kitchen pretty much all the time. I mean, WTF is that? If he isn't spending two hours cooking something nobody on the planet would ever eat, he's spending three hours washing a small load of dishes or whatever else it is that he does in there. I wish I was exaggerating about the amount of time he spends in there. I can't even get in the kitchen to make a sandwich because he's right there and won't move.

My mother, on the other hand, isn't quite as bad. The only thing she does that annoys me is that she simply doesn't understand me. Every time she sees me she asks me when I'm going to get a job or mentions it in some not so subtle way that she thinks is subtle. I've tried to talk to her and explain what the problem is but she just doesn't listen. She hears it but thinks if she changes her strategy it will work.

So basically, I have no choice but to simply avoid both of them as much as possible. Like I said, they do allow me to stay with them and I hate to complain but damn! When you can't even lock yourself into a small room and simply be left alone, that's pretty sad!

Meanwhile, I have epilepsy as well as agoraphobia and probably other psychological conditions as well. I really just want to hide in a closet or something.

flakeybark said:

hahaha

Oh man I feel your pain. haha is that what midlife crisis is? my dad listens to wierd new age shit and does nia (a dance combining martial arts tai chi and a few other things). its comforting to know i'm not completely retarded. i probably will be though when i turn 50. haha, i hope i'm not one of those chicks that listens to a lot of k d lang, then i'd really have to slit my wrists :wink:

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Lol. I have never heard of nia. It sounds horrible.

Yeah the people I live with are extremely irritating. My dad listens to the tv waaaaay too loud and enjoys blaring horrible music at a ridiculous volume. Plus, my brother doesn't know how to use the bathroom without making a complete mess of it.

Can't wait for the day I can have my own place.

lol your life is like a sad movie ... whguo , your grandmother seems crazy.