Afraid to ask people things, for help etc.

I have social phobia as some of you know..I'm off my medication and I'm not doing too bad although I still have issues. Im pregnant and due Jan 2013, I have a few people in mind who Id like to ask if they can watch the baby when me and my husband are at work, but I'm too scared to ask. My neighbor across the street is my first choice as she watched other peoples children before. There was a couple times I wanted to ask but could not make it come out of my mouth. I'm basically afraid of hearing no, or seeing a facial expression that might mean no..etc. Im sensitive to facial expressions when asking for things, also I don't want to make anyone feel awkward or obligated. I almost feel like because Im having a baby, more so I have to get over this. I have to be more assertive and confident for my child so I can get his or her needs met. This just sucks. I'm afraid the longer I wait the harder it will be for me to ask. Do you guys have trouble asking people for things??

Standard problem for me, I've gotten over it mostly as long as it is not personal.

And you are absolutely right, it does get harder the longer you put it off. So think of the child, and what is best for him/her/it.

I would recommend asking all of the possibles, don't just fix on one person.

I have no problem asking people for things in stores, unless they are attractive, I avoid them. It's hard to explain, but girls are a big wekaness for me. When I see one, I feel hot, sick, and I may take a heart attack.

Congratulations on the baby! When I was teaching shyness classes. I found that one of the first skills needed was assertiveness training- the model I trained in was assertiveness in the sense of saying no, and skills of personal defense. I found that we who have a hard time saying "no" equate no with rejection- not just a simple refusal of a request. At the same time in the same vein we have a difficult time asking because we have a hard time HEARING a no. I'm happy to say these skills can be learned, and those guilty anxious feelings can be desensitized with practice. It can be learned- it's easier to start out with more impersonal situations to get some practice, like a sales person. It won't be so tortuous and time-consuming as well as energy consuming in the future!

Just go over there and ask them. But don't ask them as if you expect them to agree. Say something like "it's perfectly fine if you're not up to it, it's just that I'm looking for someone who can take care of (child's name) while me and (guy's name) are at work. If you could give us a hand, we would really appreciate it".

Something like that. Asking, but without being all cocky and expecting them to just do it, no questions asked. Also, you have to be as nice as you can, and really believe that it's okay if they can't. If they can't, move on to someone else.

Sometimes I have a problem asking for help, but mostly if I believe that what I'm asking is really dumb, and that I should have figured it out myself. If you think about it, everyone, at some point or another, will need help with something. Be at peace with that.