Worthlessness!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey guys, im an African kid from South Africa suffering a severe Social Phobia and extremely poor eye sight. These two combination alone made sure im the worst loser to ever step foot in this world. I mean i don't know the purpose of me being alive,just the same depressing boring life everyday. I lack any motivation whatsoever to do anything or better my life.

And in African societies (In S.A at least) Things like depression and Social Phobia the are almost nonexistent e.g if you tell a person that you are depressed the will just take it as joke or think that you are straight up lazy."What kind of a person are you?"Is one the questions that im frequently asked by,mostly my mom,and it is the one that depletes every bit of hope i would have had until then because it reminds me that there's no place for me in this earth that will accept or understand me.

And the other problem I have is my mom,who compares me with other peers of mine who gradually shows maturity and Independence while I still show traits of a 10 year old.She also complain about how im such a shame to the family and how she would have bartered me with exchange of anything.

When it comes to friends and a girlfriend i have none and never had.I had few friends in the past but not earnest ones just people who found a fool to take advantage of.I have 0 connections with females,never acquainted a female person in my life, whether is a friend or a girlfriend.But i think Im well without them as they intimidate and frighten the hell out of me.

I have known and frequently visited this site for a year but I was scared to register because of judgements that may accure. Im highly susceptible to criticism and a tiny judgement can live with me for days

Excuse my English and grammar, English is not my native language.Thanks in advance to anyone who took time to read or reply.......my writing is quite horrible im scared to submit

Hi welcome, just to let you know you're not alone

Welcome aboard, you're not alone. I'm almost certainly older than you, mate, and feel the same way about many things you said there.

I'm curious as to why South Africa would have such a taboo about mental health difficulty? Even here in the USA there is of course still taboo, but nothing like you describe.

Here's a question for you. What do you think is the "cause" of your social anxiety?

Don't be afraid to post, man. Plenty of nice folks and we won't judge you. Lots of people here have all kinds of issues and similar ones to you so if anything you will find lots of sympathetic people here.

Just remember you are a worthwhile person and don't let anyone tell you that you aren't, not even your mom. Everyone has weaknesses. It's human nature and nothing to be ashamed of but we can at least try to overcome our weaknesses little by little and make ourselves better people.

Bronson99 said:

Welcome aboard, you're not alone. I'm almost certainly older than you, mate, and feel the same way about many things you said there.

I'm curious as to why South Africa would have such a taboo about mental health difficulty? Even here in the USA there is of course still taboo, but nothing like you describe.

Here's a question for you. What do you think is the "cause" of your social anxiety?

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I think it's stems from the time i was in primary school (Elementary school) where I got teased and mocked a lot for my poor sight.And I attended a normal school where everyone had a good sight.Teachers often asked if I saw the chalkboard and I always replied with yes but knowing in reality that I didn't.For the fear of embarrassment, i couldn't say no.


The sad came when the teachers wanted their work and I' presented blank pages. I will get beat up and embarrassed in front of the entire class and it led to some feeling pity for me. I hate pity because it makes me feel inferior.And others will say stupid things like "you need to open your eyes wide in order to see" I felt like a toddler who didn't know how to do anything. Like many people didn't understand anything about being partially sighted, for instance my mom will come and take me during the course of school to attend the doctor's appointment and the following day at school you'll have some people all around me saying things like "now that you went to a doctor, your eyes are healed, you won't be eating a book anymore" they said that because of how I read a book - eyes very close to the book like trying to figure out what's inside the paper.

You may be wondering why the guy didn't try or use glasses. But I will relieve you by telling you that in my place you'll get laughed or mocked for wearing glasses unless they are for fashion.I refused to wear them and my mom said she was going to quit to find help for me because she can't help a person who can't help himself.Teachers started to consult her about my eyes and she told them about my refusal to wear glasses.

So they conspired a plan,My mom gave a certain teacher the glasses and he made me wear them in class and the class laughed hysterically.I remember that day very well and the embarrassment that came with it.Since that day i felt inferior than everyone in the school.

Teachers,Doctors always said "Dnt care about what they say to you" but I felt it didn't help because i cared a lot.Felt way different from other kids which didn't sit well with me.

I started wearing glasses in school. At first i was very self-conscious, but gradually i got used to them, & others got used to seeing me wearing them. I barely got teased at all - maybe just the odd 'four eyes!' by my bullies, but they bullied me anyway, before my glasses.

Could you get glasses that look like they're for fashion? Or what about ones that have no rims (so they don't stand out as much; these are what i wear).

Situational embarrassment/bullying and the like can contribute to social anxiety but I believe this may be a different kind than neurological-influenced SA.

It can also easily be both, of course.

While I had my own fair share of bullying growing up, I don't think that was a cause, I believe it was a contributor.

A lot of folks here and in other sites dealing with social anxiety don't consider that SA is often a byproduct of another condition. It rarely occurs in a vacuum.

So the question to ask is.. if you have SA.. what else do you have going on? I have ADD and may have Asperger's, and from this knowledge I know that innately poor social ability came first, and the anxiety second.