WORST CHILDHOOD MEMORY?

What is the worst childhood memory that you had, that might have caused SA?

i think there's already a thread similar to this one...but its long gone.

its weird i'm trying to think of something but i cant. i think i was totally oblivious to the fact i had sa when i was a kid and didnt listen to what people said to me or about me. :? i know people made fun of me but not cuz of my sa. but in adulthood...people would always say i needed to speak up more. so where ever that was...if it was optional...i would never go back.

I have seriously blocked out most of my memories from that long ago. I really have no idea. I know some pretty bad stuff happened to me, but I don't remember and I don't even want to know what it is.

im not sure if there was just one. i was always shy but being bullied in junior high really made things worse.

I've blocked out a lot of my childhood, but I can remember somethings. Like the time I got kicked in the stomach at recess, or the time some kid spit on me after class one day. I still can't remember why they did it. Oh and there was the time were this group of kid was all laughing and talking so I went over there, and one of the kid ask "Cedric why do you always come and sit with the popular Kids"? Yeah kids can be real pricks sometimes.

[Part II]

bully wich i forgot but i remembered wit gods help
and when i was about 6 i was in love with this girl and was true love.

Finding my mother dead at 15

In first year of primary school I kicked my mate in the nuts, I don't know why. Later that day I had to say what I did in front of the class but I was to scared to say balls so I hid under the table for the rest of the day crying.

Another one, first day of kindergarten I cried my eyes out and held on to my mum but eventually the teacher grabbed a hold of me. I didn't talk for the 2 months I was there except to the one mate I made. Mum eventually took me out of there.

in year ten of school, i had a really nice teacher who was really young and extremely cool and i wanted to be just like her. (later on i found out she was a jerk, but that's a different story) so anyways, i always wanted to impress her and answer all her questions but every time i put my hand up i would start to blush and then i would get afraid that everyone would think i had a crush on her or something. but i didnt i just wanted be more like her. and anyways, there was this one day that she asked me to read and i started to read the textbook but i was stuttering the whole time and having a panic attack and i knew i sounded like an idiot and she made me keep reading. i hated that.

Psychedelicious said:

I have seriously blocked out most of my memories from that long ago. I really have no idea. I know some pretty bad stuff happened to me, but I don't remember and I don't even want to know what it is.

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This is interesting. I have a control freak mother that did all sorts of psych shit to me. I remember a lot of them and some i'm sure i forgot, but did not 'block' it out permanently.

Some of them were:
1. In Kindergarten I brought home a bird that I chose to color brown (my eyes and hair were brown). She ripped it and threw it out in the garbage and said, "What an ugly bird, why didn't you pick a prettier color like blue"

2. She always raved about how she missed out in life and has no nice watches, so about 5 years old I bought her a watch from a local drug store. She threw it out and said "what, you think i like cheap garbage such as this"

I can say the psych shit goes on and on from criticisms to belittling --- AND ITS ALL SO THEY CAN HAVE YOU IN THE END. You can't make any friends or have a normal life so they FUCK YOU UP - on PURPOSE!!!!

And they do so cuz they love you, btw, it's hard to differentiate - cuz in their own sick way they do love you.

Oh and here are some physical ones:
1. My mother dragged me by the hair while pulling me across the apartment we had when i was in 7th grade.
2. When i was about 10 she made me scrub the kitchen floor (was a beautiful ceramic tile 10x10 kitchen - we weren't poor) while she sang CHA CHA and kicked me repeatedly in a corner.

ok , that's just to name a few, there's more, but this is already a long post and I just have to add that when I started punching / kicking her back in 7th grade or so, the physical stopped.