Walking Past People

Does anybody else experience difficulty in passing other people, particularly on pavements/sidewalks or long corridors?

Whenever I see somebody looming up in the distance, I feel awkward as hell and don't know where to look. On passing, I usually just stare at the pavement, or will occasionally summon up the courage(!) to hold my head high and fix my gaze on something that is at eye level, e.g. a street sign; though I do feel pretty odd when doing this.

What do you do when you walk past people? Does anybody here have any advice/techniques to make it easier?

I thought I was the only one!

Seriously, every time I read something like this on here, it almost brings tears to my eyes because for so long I didn't realize that others experienced the same awkwardness I do.

I can remember in seventh or eighth grade, the guidance counselor at my school telling me that teachers liked me in class, but didn't understand why I wouldn't look at them or say hello in passing in the hallway and so forth. I don't understand why no one ever picked up on these things and tried to get me some help to cut this stuff off early on.

Or, and maybe this happened to a lot of us, my parents rejected the notion that anything was wrong with their child. That maybe it was my fault for being aloof to people, and that everyone in the world wasn't really picking on me.

One thing I hate is when I finally summon the courage to look at someone walking past me with a friendly hello, and they don't look anywhere near me.

So what the heck? Do all the non-responsive people have SAD or what? I thought unaffected people would be friendly and responsive and not feel uncomfortable in the situation.

Yeah, I never know where to look either.

But what Harvey's been doing sounds interesting and helpful so I'm gonna try and work up the courage to try it too

Saying hi to complete strangers in the city tends to reward you with copious amounts of insults (sometimes!)

Passing people on the the street does scare me, I find it easier to cope with if I visualise where I'm headed to so I can enjoy the feeling of comfort of arriving at my destination instead of freaking out at the thought of being in public. My other technique is to just stare straight ahead as if this person approaching me wasn't there - robotic-stylee walk is optional.

Are we talking about strangers, or people we know?

The hardest for me is people who I sort of know, or have seen around the office but haven't officially met. It's a kind of border line whether you should say hi or not, so I usually let the other person initiate.

Actually the hardest is when people are in groups, especially if they are talking to each other. Then even if I know some of the people, I'm not sure whether I should say anything or not because they're in a middle of a conversation...

I used to be a lot worse than i am now. Most of the time i would walk out of my way to avoid any on coming people traffic. Now i can walk past anyone, well almost ( groups of guys tend to, yeah... ) - there is still that discomfort but at least i can do it - although i do the robotic thing...ala Miss Black Mamba.

I think most people will nod or give you some kind of reply greeting if it's just you and them in that area that are passing each other. I get kind of uncomfortable in these situations, but it's no biggie. But what about when you're walking past lots of people, most people just ignore each other right? I've tried making eye contact but people are usually going their own way. Or is it just me, with wierd ideas...which wouldn't really come as a big surprise

I tend to get a sense of dread when someone walks towards me in the street. If its busy I feel less significant. I look to see if anyone is looking at me, and if they are I get anxious, maybe if I didn't look at them they wouldn't look back, its pretty stupid.

I always percieve others as having the ability to see my anxiety symptons, even though the rational part of me knows they have no idea, everyones usually to preoccupied. I'm still trying to figure out why it bothers me so much - believing that people can see I'm anxious.

I thought I was the only one as well!
I tend to either stare at the floor or just look straight ahead, try to ignore the other person and try to to look nervous. Of course doing this takes a lot of concentration and so it completley catches me off guard if they say hi, and I'm completely unable to reply.

I currently live in pontypridd where most people don't really talk to each other, but I lived in a small town called Ferndale for a while and because its so small everyone knows each other and they talk to each other a lot. EVERYONE was sying hello to me as we passed and some even tried to have a conversation with me, it was terrifying!

Heh a funny thing happened to me today when walking back from the shop, an old man was walking towards me and so as usual I stared directly ahead of me. As we passed each other I for some reason decided to glance quikly in his direction, he had stepped off the pavement to avoid me and was staring at me with this expression of fear on his face. He was actually afraid of me! I found it quite funny because 1) for once I wansn't imagining it someone really was staring at me and 2) he was more afraid of me than I was of him. I nearly burst out laughing. I guess thats what happens when you wear all black and a leather biker jacket.
I'm not sure why this didn't bother me. Maybe i'ts a sign that I'm getting better, heh I wish.

Yup, same problem for me too... crossing the street has always been an issue for me too.

The other day my new boss passed me and said "hi" and I was so nervous that I couldn't speak so I must have came off as the biggest snob. (which is scary because my job is at "temporary" status and I'm trying to get "permanent")

sorry to bore!

I walk pretty fast everywhere I go and that kind of helps me in avoiding people. But walking towards people on a sidewalk, I’m very self-conscious. Am I walking like a robot or a normal person? Is my zipper zipped? Where’s an “out” so I can move away in case they get too close?

I’ll say a quick “hi” to someone I know casually, but I always keep moving. I’ve also been accused of ignoring people I work with because I’m focused on walking (so as not to attract attention) instead of seeing people. What bugs me during walking is coming up behind a slower group of people hogging the sidewalk or aisle. It’s like “Move it, people! I’m not a part of your group and I can’t socialize well, so make a hole and let me pass!” In the meantime, I have to follow, listening to them have a fun talk. I wish I could be a part of someone’s social life.

good

" My therapist had a name for this - something like ratio of expectation. (i.e. what percentage would acknowledge you). So I learnt that I had to be ignored 3 times before I was rewarded with a pleasant hi and smile. Not only did the hi/smile make up for the 3 ignores but I realized that the ignores were not a reflection on me. "

thats good. real good. people have to adjust their expectations
of others reactions and behavior.

For my part i remember when i was 15 at school during launch time.
it was so boring we were 3 friends continously walking around the school halls and we talked and stuff.

There was "benches"(sorry bad english) all along our path with people stting, talking and looking around.

I always felt like examined and would walk like a robot fixing the void in front of me. I felt so rigid, so phony in my way of walking etc..

"It almost became a game."
"I am going to look at the people passing and say hi! It will be interesting to see how many respond. "

good job. having a mindset like that is important.
trying something and wondering the interesting result you ll
get is a great way to approach it.

Olivier

2QuietForThem said:

I walk pretty fast everywhere I go and that kind of helps me in avoiding people. But walking towards people on a sidewalk, I’m very self-conscious. Am I walking like a robot or a normal person? Is my zipper zipped? Where’s an “out” so I can move away in case they get too close?

I’ll say a quick “hi” to someone I know casually, but I always keep moving. I’ve also been accused of ignoring people I work with because I’m focused on walking (so as not to attract attention) instead of seeing people. What bugs me during walking is coming up behind a slower group of people hogging the sidewalk or aisle. It’s like “Move it, people! I’m not a part of your group and I can’t socialize well, so make a hole and let me pass!” In the meantime, I have to follow, listening to them have a fun talk. I wish I could be a part of someone’s social life.

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I can definitely relate to walking behind slow people. And then it seems if you try to go around them, there's somebody else walking towards you. This means I'm stuck for a while until they see me behind them. Some people will say "excuse me" and let you go by them. Some will just pretend like you're not behind them and walk even slower. I just hate it when it happens.

I just look at my phone while I walk and try not to make eye contact with anyone.

If its a busy street, I don't usually have a problem as I'm too focused on not walking into anyone. If its a quiet street and we're the only people on it I just try to focus on something in the distance.

Very much so. I usually take a different route when I see a group of people at a bus stop in the distance or such. The thing that makes it worse (for me anyway) is I'm so focused on my thoughts of walking in front of people that I start to lose balance and my legs start to weaken.

Hmmm, no. Never had that problem. Most of the time I bike anyway, and then looking at my feet would be someone unfitting.

When I do walk, I'm normally busy thinking about this or that. I look at trees and plants to see if I know their names, I look up buildings to see if bored old people are sitting at the windows peeking at the street, I look at the logos women have on their t-shirts right where they boobs are, and wonder why they'd wear such shirts with logos at their boobs if they wouldn't want me to look there, and so on and so on.