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Old 07-27-2015
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Has anyone felt like they're just "bad" at therapy? I've tried going to therapists many times in my life and it just never works out. I either end up not liking the therapist, not feeling comfortable around him/her or just straight up lying about things because I'm embarrassed. I just feel like I can't open up to therapists at all and it ends up just not helping at all. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, any advice??


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Old 07-27-2015
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I always had a hard time opening up. In order to get the ball rolling, I wrote my thoughts out and either brought them with me, or emailed them before hand for him to read, and then we talked about that. I found it a lot easier than expecting myself to just open up on the spot.
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Old 07-27-2015
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Great suggestion thanks! I can't believe I've never thought of that


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Old 07-27-2015
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I realize everyone is different, but you have to ask yourself;
'Why am I making the effort to go to a therapist?'

Remember WHY you are going.

Not all therapists are as good as the next. Just like any profession.
Shop around until you find one who does their job well. But remember, it's not about being best friends, or having a great time. You will feel uncomfortable at times.

There will be no healing or moving forward without examining in detail what makes you uncomfortable. You just have to accept that.

I believe to take steps forward in the fight against SA, you need help.
Help.
That means it's you and them together.
I say this because a lot of people think therapists are magical people who have all the answers. Those who work in mental health work in one of the toughest fields.
They deserve your respect and your effort. You must lead the fight, they assist.

There is an old saying that comes to mind here;

You can lead a horse to water, but you cant make it drink.

Your therapist can give you the tools to improve against SA, but its up to you to fully implement them in your daily life.

Good luck
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Old 07-27-2015
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always been to embarrassed to try to get help , drugs or therapy. I'm supposed to be a man. what are people going to think of me. So i just deal with it but i really don't deal with it. I just let it be. Have trouble opening up period.
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Old 07-27-2015
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To be honest I think I know more about anxiety than some of my therapists.
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Old 07-27-2015
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jayfan View Post
always been to embarrassed to try to get help , drugs or therapy. I'm supposed to be a man. what are people going to think of me. So i just deal with it but i really don't deal with it. I just let it be. Have trouble opening up period.
It's interesting you say the 'I'm supposed to be a man' line. I totally get that.

Now its one of the things that people say that I hate most (along with 'time to man up' or 'be a man').
Mate, I'm over 6 ft tall, have tattoo's and from what a lot of people have told me in the past a manly man..(lol). But I hold no shame in admitting I have cried like a little boy in front of certain people in the past (not many, but a few).

In the end I thought; 'no, stuff everyone else. I'M going to be the one who decides what I think a man should be. That's going to be me.'

If you're willing to take the first step and accept help from others, then that is more of a man than many other 'manly' behaviors.
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Old 07-27-2015
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Have you ever experimented with opening up completely to see how it goes?
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Old 07-28-2015
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sacrament View Post
Have you ever experimented with opening up completely to see how it goes?

No I haven't. Kind of too scared to. And it's hard because I hate crying in front of people but that's exactly what I do when I talk about my feelings


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Trust me, therapists are used to that. Actually, the more you open up, the better the chances of them being able to help you, because then they'll know all they need to know about what's going on. If you don't, you're just wasting money on therapy sessions that don't really go anywhere.

If it makes you feel better, when you get there, 'warn' them that you might shed a few tears if you start talking about how you feel. They won't be surprised, and they won't be judgmental either.
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I have no to trouble opening up to a therapist, I also recognising which therapists are helpful, and stick with them. There have been therapists who I realise are unhelpful and I am decisive enough to stop seeing them.

It has been that way for me with doctors, physios, cardiologists and podiatrists. I have seen people who are able to put their words into actions.
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Old 07-28-2015
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sacrament View Post
Trust me, therapists are used to that. Actually, the more you open up, the better the chances of them being able to help you, because then they'll know all they need to know about what's going on. If you don't, you're just wasting money on therapy sessions that don't really go anywhere.

If it makes you feel better, when you get there, 'warn' them that you might shed a few tears if you start talking about how you feel. They won't be surprised, and they won't be judgmental either.
good advice
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I've kinda got the opposoite problem. I find it hard to know when to divulge & when to shut up. Probably due to spending eons in isolation, & not learning social skills. I just blurt out whatever i'm thinkin', irrespective of whether it's positive or negative, feel-good or feel-bad, useful or useless, appropriate or not. Old habits die hard or they don't die at all.
But on the flip-side, what is really good is that i can get exactly what's on my mind off my chest, & the therapist gets the blunt honest facts (or at least my honest interpretation of the facts).

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Old 09-24-2016
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Yeah I had a few panic attacks that took up many sessions before I could open up. Now it goes better. I still keep the most shameful ideas and thoughts to myself but we do talk about daily struggles and how to lessen it using CBT. To be honest its taking a lot of time and I'm not improving much. Hm.
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Old 04-21-2017
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I've been to a few therapists. Always found it strange opening up to them. They're knowledgeable, but complete strangers nonetheless.
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