Yes or No?

[SnackleZ]

It's been a while since I've had a REAL girlfriend, and before her, there hadn't ever been anyone. Since then though, I've been "playing" around with women, and I've enjoyed every minute of it.

One girl though, I've liked her as a friend since the moment I met her, seems to be catching my eye more and more as the days go by. I'm a technical coordinator for my journalism class (I take care of computer stuff/problems), and she's always having me help her with her work. Gladly, I sit down with her and talk it out, and help her, but something about it lately hasn't been quite... usual. Asking me about stuff she already knows, calling me over only for me to find no problems, and a few other things out of the usual. I, unlike normal people, grew up noticing the little things in life. This isn't something little.

So, I've been running with it. I'll hang out with her in class when I get the chance, I'll talk with her, we make faces and laugh at each other... friend stuff.

Today though, I was at my friend's house, and she logged on to her name on MSN Messenger. I didn't know she had an email account, so I jumped on my buddy's name, told her it was me, and we talked for a few minutes, then she said she had to go, but to add her.

Later tonight, I added her and we chatted for... About 3 hours I guess. We talked about school, things going on around school, hair styles, and... prom. She said that she found the dress she was going to wear to prom, but wasn't going to get to go because no one asked her. This... hit me. Then, she started showing me pictures of the dress, and just like I expected it to be, it wasn't anything flashy, or paris hilton slutty. Just a really nice dress, for a really nice girl. Then I realized... I didn't go to prom last year, but I pretty much have to this year. Only problem is, I don't have anyone to take. She's dateless, I'm dateless... hmm.

I know she recently got out of a relationship with a guy from school whom I pretty much hate. He spits chew on my car every once in a while, and one time it pissed me off to a point of where I asked his father to get him to stop or I would take legal action. Since then, nothings happened. She, on her screenname, did have *single* next to her name... obviously hinting that she was single.

So... I'm undecided on whether or not to go for her. I like her and all, but... I guess I've always seen it as having to actually be "in love" with the person before you can date them. I'm not in love, but we're really good friends. Friends who have a lot in common to add to that... she likes being funny, so do I. She was raised in a very strict, reformed, home, as was I. She loves talking, I love listening... I don't know.

I'm stuck... what do you think?

 

[dzerklis]

listen, SnackleZ, there are many guys in this forum who have naveer had girlfriend but you are posting this fucking ridiculous "do i or dont i go to date", sorry if i sound unfriendly, nothing personal, but i think you should think about what youre posting there before you do it

 

[dzerklis]

yes, they post, but in case you havent noticed they arent posting like "oh you know i have 5 girlfriends and i cant decide which of them i like most" brrrrrrrr

 

[allanboy]

Buy her a coffee/snack/whatever. When you are finished, take her outside and talk to her, this time being go-time. Look her in the eyes, get close to her, tell her how beautiful she is/always has been and proceed to kiss her. Seeing by your post, it wont be a shock to her(hell, i guess this is what she wants).
But dont sweat it. Aim to have a good time with her, all will come out natural.

Really, i wanted to have more experience in all this to advise better.
Come back with details.

 

[SnackleZ]

yes, they post, but in case you havent noticed they arent posting like "oh you know i have 5 girlfriends and i cant decide which of them i like most" brrrrrrrr

I know exactly how you feel... I've seen that so much that it sickens me thinking about it. There's those guys, then there's people like me, 18, and I've only had one girlfriend in my entire life, and that was for around 2 weeks, and to top it all off, word has gotten around to me that she was playing me the whole time.

Experience is something I lack... the tips from Allanboy, I will keep. I never plan out what I'm going to do, and when it comes time to make a move on a woman, I'm never ready, or I'm too scared to know what to do BECAUSE of the SA/SP. Constantly wondering "what are they thinking... is this the right thing to do?". Sure, I've had my chance with other women at parties and such that I've went to, but I've pussied out because I keep thinking "what should I do? how is she going to react?". I'm not one to draw negative attention to myself, so I go to far lengths to achieve that... putting my arm around a girl, then getting pushed away is like taking buckshot to the chest.

I'll be seeing her again today at school... I'll post how things go.

 

[longlivesolitude]

Sounds really nice for you Snacklez even though these experiences with the opposite sex brings up new worries I can relate to the feeling about dating or not when you haven't fallen in love. Actually I'm having some of the same thoughts, because I'm also 18, had one girlfriend in my life and I'm writing a bit with a girl who I've talked to earlier and found nice and interesting, but who I'm not in love with.. Anyway it's a long story. I just think it's good to be honest to the other person about your feelings if she asks or does some moves etc. and then it will probably go fine. A girlfriend isn't everything, and spending a lot of time with some person you don't really love, seems a waste of time and energy to me. That's just my opinion. Hope it all goes well for you

Not sure if I said it right: Of course I also think you should get to know this girl some more and see how it goes.

 

[gg]

:arrow: this girl is hinting at you to ask her to the prom. it is so obvious. i should know I'm female. do you think a girl would go to those lengths if she didn't want you to ask her out. girls like guyz to ask THEM out. not the other way about. of course i cant speak 4 all females. but please, the signs are all there. just ask her. i know it must be very nerve racking 4 you, but take the plunge. good luck. let us know what happens :!:

 

[veryshy]

Ask her if she would like you to take her to the prom. Dont listen to any of these pill poppers!

 

[gg]

:arrow: who the fuck are you calling pill poppers :!: :?: :evil:

 

[sweetsour_eisha]

:lol:
u guys r funny!!
and on a second thought... cute too
:wink:

 

[allanboy]

Why, you are cute too milady.

Oh, and how did the date go(forget the name of the thread poster)?

 

[J]

I can relate to the feeling about dating or not when you haven't fallen in love. Actually I'm having some of the same thoughts, because I'm also 18, had one girlfriend in my life and I'm writing a bit with a girl who I've talked to earlier and found nice and interesting, but who I'm not in love with.. A girlfriend isn't everything, and spending a lot of time with some person you don't really love, seems a waste of time and energy to me.

Longlive: it can take time to fall in love. That's one reason to date-- to see who's out there, to learn what you like and what you don't (what you THINK you like and dislike may not be so, ya know ), learn how to "do the relationship thing" (it IS complicated sometimes), spend time with good people, and maybe, perhaps, perchance, fall for one of them.

Usually, one doesn't fall in love prior to dating, and usually, when someone does, it's not "love" but obsession of infatuation (usually turn-offs to women, these things can come off as 'creepy'). Not saying it can't happen, but this is how it most often is.

So chat more and maybe spend some time with that girl. Who knows how you'll feel after some more time. And I also thought part of getting over SA was being able to spend time with more people and get by in life-- and of course most ppl in this world are going to be "people we don't really love"

(if I misinterpreted you post, I apologize in advance )

 

[gg]

:lol:
u guys r funny!!
and on a second thought... cute too
:wink:

:arrow: thanx :!:

 

[marshall1234]

Do it, its cash in the bag ^^