Yeaah. Guys.

[emmdee]

Never really been around them, so i am not used to them as much as girls. That just adds anxiety on its own.
And then plus SA?
It's a freaking nightmare..
I have had to lie and reject them because of this (not that i had many to do this to in the first place), and i feel bad, but at the same time relieved...
It's not that i'm sexist, i just feel the anxiety like ten times more around them.
Is it just me?

 

[BrokenSmile]

Never really been around them, so i am not used to them as much as girls. That just adds anxiety on its own.
And then plus SA?
It's a freaking nightmare..
I have had to lie and reject them because of this (not that i had many to do this to in the first place), and i feel bad, but at the same time relieved...
It's not that i'm sexist, i just feel the anxiety like ten times more around them.
Is it just me?

No, is not just you. I had this problem too. For all the people is difficult when is come about somthing that they aren't use to it. You have to kill your fear and try beeing around boys. More simple is if you can find a nice boy (not a boyfriend) and spend more time with him. Or a close cousin.
Do you have brothers?
I fixed (a little) this problem when i start chating with boys. But i guess you already doing this. So, next step is to trying to chat with a classmate on messenger and then start talking with him in real life too. It will be easy. If you can do this without anxiety, then you can apply all that thing with another boy. All you have to do is to "step in" a (one)boy "world" to see that is no reason to anxious around them coz they are people too and aren't so different then girls.

Sorry my english.

 

[emmdee]

Oh, online i don't really have a problem with it, it is when i am in person. But i guess that applies to a lot of things. I cannot really do much about it now, considering everything.
But i hope university will be an amazing turnaround, and i will attempt it.
Especially doing dorm rooms...maybe i will request that mine will be a guy haha.
But anyways, yeah...
I don't know whether i should go to treatment first or not...i don't want to sneak around, but i don't want to tell people about this either.
Well..you know what, really...the only way to get rid of the fear is to face it. So i probably don't need it. I just have to think positive things and move past this. I'm sexy. I'm interesting. I am well-rounded, smart, and all that shit. I'm just as good as anyone else.
These next two years before university give me time to prepare for that.
Haha don't mind my rambling. I do that everyday.
But, i hope everything works out for you, man =]