Thelostone
Member
Do you know what its like to feel lost?
To feel like you’re alone in a crowd,
Yet they are all staring at you
Watching you’re every move
Waiting to see if you slip up
Observing to know if you are normal
When you know you aren’t normal
And you don’t understand why,
And you want so badly to be.
Everyday becomes a struggle,
And you get more lost in your head.
The Sun is distant,
And the walls in your room become
Your closest of friends,
You remember having a life before,
You remember being a different person
A spontaneous and carefree person
But now that the bottle is gone
You see that was just the substance talking
And without it
You don’t really know who you are
Or what you want out of life
You know you want to be happy
You know you want to smile
But you don’t know where to start,
You want to be able to have a life,
You want to be able to leave your house
Without your heart beating three times
Over the average heart rate,
Without Hands shaking out of control
And sweat seeping out from your body
Racing thoughts telling you,
That you just aren’t good enough,
Telling you to end it all
Telling you that you don’t deserve
To be on this planet
Because you are ruining it for
Everyone else.
You want to escape this mind of yours
That seems to have betrayed you
Oh so badly,
Hearing stories of your friends days and friends and family events
Begins to be a chore,
Jealousy churns from within you
And you want so badly to be happy for that friend
To be happy everything is going so well for her
But I can’t
I find it difficult to be happy for anyone these days,
When I spend my afternoons locked away
Crying and day dreaming of a life that could be,
That will be
One day ,
I keep telling myself this is temporary,
This is not my death.
Do you think i should continue?
To feel like you’re alone in a crowd,
Yet they are all staring at you
Watching you’re every move
Waiting to see if you slip up
Observing to know if you are normal
When you know you aren’t normal
And you don’t understand why,
And you want so badly to be.
Everyday becomes a struggle,
And you get more lost in your head.
The Sun is distant,
And the walls in your room become
Your closest of friends,
You remember having a life before,
You remember being a different person
A spontaneous and carefree person
But now that the bottle is gone
You see that was just the substance talking
And without it
You don’t really know who you are
Or what you want out of life
You know you want to be happy
You know you want to smile
But you don’t know where to start,
You want to be able to have a life,
You want to be able to leave your house
Without your heart beating three times
Over the average heart rate,
Without Hands shaking out of control
And sweat seeping out from your body
Racing thoughts telling you,
That you just aren’t good enough,
Telling you to end it all
Telling you that you don’t deserve
To be on this planet
Because you are ruining it for
Everyone else.
You want to escape this mind of yours
That seems to have betrayed you
Oh so badly,
Hearing stories of your friends days and friends and family events
Begins to be a chore,
Jealousy churns from within you
And you want so badly to be happy for that friend
To be happy everything is going so well for her
But I can’t
I find it difficult to be happy for anyone these days,
When I spend my afternoons locked away
Crying and day dreaming of a life that could be,
That will be
One day ,
I keep telling myself this is temporary,
This is not my death.
Do you think i should continue?