Hi, I felt the same way when reading about APD which was just a few days ago! I was amazed that I was a classic textbook example! I had 10 years of therapy with 6 different shrinks to no avail. I was never diagnosed as having APD, only clinical depression. It was so far beyond that, but I could never get anyone to understand. The first positive step I made was in knowing that I had this disorder. All of the symptoms I thought were just side effects of depression, were really grouped up into this one illness. That in itself, knowing that I have something real that has a name is a great relief.
I am so mad that I have wasted all of these years living with APD and didn't even know what it was. I have now decided to go to war with my own mind. When I start with the paranoia and delusional thinking, I go somewhere quiet and talk myself out of feeling that way. This is just the disorder...this isn't real, etc. I was on zoloft for many years, but had gotten off of the meds when I changed jobs and lost my insurance. I am going to start taking them again soon and hopefully they can help me through this. I know I have a long way to go, but I think I am headed in the right direction.
Since this is a chemical thing in our brain, it's like any other sickness and has to be treated that way. We get an infection, we take medicine to fight it. If you have an extreme case of APD like I do, there just isn't any way around the meds. You have to have a helper to combat the symptoms so you can focus on getting better. Therapy...I could take it or leave it although it isn't a bad thing. I may end up in therapy again myself. A good starting point for you is to buy some books and read up on APD, then go from there. If you go to amazon.com, you can get some good recommendations from others. I ordered two yesterday and can't wait to get them. I think the more we understand about this illness, the more we will be able to do to get control over it. I hope I have helped a little! Stay strong!
