Women in nightclubs

[steviegerrard489]

Well last night I actually went out with some 'friends'. I put friends in commas because I don't quite consider them to be proper friends just yet. Probably borderline acquaintance / friend...

Anyway, we went to this girl's birthday party and then moved onto this trendy bar full of 20-somethings. These people I went with were mostly people I work with so they basically know my situation: i.e not many friends, shy, no girlfriend.

In all the time I've known them I've never tried to flirt or get intimate with any woman in our presence, because: a)I'm too shy to pluck up the courage, b)I'm embarrassed knowing that they will be watching, and c)I might get rejected by the girl.

For example, I've known this particular group of 'friends' for about 1.5 years but in all the times we've been out to bars and nightclubs I've rarely tried chatting to anyone outside our social group.

I guess I'm just too weak but I really need to find some courage to get over my fears.

Anyone else feel like this?

 

[Liz17]

Yes offering them a drink would be good, If they say no thanks it is a small rejection but its not I direct refusal, if they want one it usually means that they might be interested. So give it a go, theres no harm in doing it gradually, then naturally they may strike up a conversation with you.

 

[smittenkitten]

Well last night I actually went out with some 'friends'. I put friends in commas because I don't quite consider them to be proper friends just yet. Probably borderline acquaintance / friend...

Anyway, we went to this girl's birthday party and then moved onto this trendy bar full of 20-somethings. These people I went with were mostly people I work with so they basically know my situation: i.e not many friends, shy, no girlfriend.

In all the time I've known them I've never tried to flirt or get intimate with any woman in our presence, because: a)I'm too shy to pluck up the courage, b)I'm embarrassed knowing that they will be watching, and c)I might get rejected by the girl.

For example, I've known this particular group of 'friends' for about 1.5 years but in all the times we've been out to bars and nightclubs I've rarely tried chatting to anyone outside our social group.

I guess I'm just too weak but I really need to find some courage to get over my fears.

Anyone else feel like this?

Weak doesn't have anything to do with it, you're just honest, which is commendable. Most guys (and girls) I know are scared of being rejected by people they like the look of in clubs. I know I am! I know I'm not really offering much advice, I don't tend to approach guys (it's a bit easier for girls in that respect, we don't tend to have to do the approaching) but I wanted to tell you that you're not alone in your fears of rejection; I share them whole heartedly. I hope things get better for you.

 

[Bonus44]

smittenkitten wrote "..I wanted to tell you that you're not alone in your fears of rejection; I share them whole heartedly.."

I wouldn't worry about rejection smittenkitten.. you're HOT. :lol:

 

[smittenkitten]

smittenkitten wrote "..I wanted to tell you that you're not alone in your fears of rejection; I share them whole heartedly.."

I wouldn't worry about rejection smittenkitten.. you're HOT. :lol:

Lol, thank you That's reassuring!

 

[shield]

I think its very scary for guys to talk to girls they don't know. Even for guys who aren't shy this is one of the most daunting things you can do. Maybe you should work up to this but keep it as an end goal.

 

[Milton5a]

Never been to a nightclub, too embarassed that someone would say something nasty

 

[restless]

In the very few occasions in which I was in the nightclub I was very depressed. Just sitting there, drinking and no chance for proper interaction with other people – mostly unfamiliar. I don’t feel at the same level with them. I feel inferior to all of them. They have a proper social life. They have a themes for conversation in which I have nothing to say – sexual themes etc.
I just stuck to people which I knew previously. Even being drunk I feel no comfort being in such places. Yes, I become more talkative, the alcohol relieves my anxiety, but still I have no guts to start a conversation with unfamiliar girl. I constantly repeated to myself: “What are you searching here, loser? You have nothing to do with all these people. They are outgoing persons. They enjoy their life. They don’t like you. Girls even don’t notice you.”
At the other day I felt even more depressed. I wasn’t satisfied. So I don’t like being in nightclubs, because I can’t achieve something there. I can’t find new friends or girlfriend. I prefer going to parties, although I haven’t been at party for two years.

 

[footballfan]

I'm kind of in the same situation, cause these people I work with keep asking me to go out with them every payday, but I keep making excuses. But if I do go out with them eventually, I will just get really drunk so I don't feel as self consious. Maybe thats what you should do! lol
Or find a reason to go out with them other than a club, so you can have something to talk about when you go to the club.

 

[faithnomore]

I cant see myself "looking the part" if i went to a club. It would be so horrible. I have friends that go clubbing, and go "on the pull" and are succesful in their attempts. I'm thinking, how the hell... Anyway thats not my style, i want a girlfriend not a slut.

 

[Marie_knowsbest]

to be honst the hole point in going to a night club is just to get pissed and dance. people dont go clubbing to make new friends or find marriage material. people go there to either:

get completely pissed
get pissed and dance
look for a fight
find a one night stand
or just to have a good time with the mates u actualy go with.

anyone whos dated someone they met in a night club will tell ya that u dont find love in a night club, coz thats not why people r there.

just enjoy yaself! dont think about talking to other people, think about gettin yaself happily drunk and dancing to ya favourite track.