Will this work to REDUCE my SOCIAL PHOBIA?

[Rameses]

Hi,

I am 24 years old and have social phobia. It ONLY comes in certain situationes like for example sitting in front of a girl or boy and having eye contact only you 2.

I want to better this so some actions I'm going to take are:

- Stop trying to AVOID being nervous. Because EVERYtime I try to avoid it it gets worse

- Expose myself to situations i tend to think "oh I want to avoid this"

- Stop seeing people as a threat and seeing myself not being good enough
or "lower" than them in a sense of hieararchy

- Get rid of all the expectations I have of myself in a social interaction


Will this work? Or is this just ANOTHER set of expectations of myself and am i OVERanalyzing AGAIN?

Thank you

 

[starburst]

Hi,

I am 24 years old and have social phobia. It ONLY comes in certain situationes like for example sitting in front of a girl or boy and having eye contact only you 2.

I want to better this so some actions I'm going to take are:

- Stop trying to AVOID being nervous. Because EVERYtime I try to avoid it it gets worse

- Expose myself to situations i tend to think "oh I want to avoid this"

- Stop seeing people as a threat and seeing myself not being good enough
or "lower" than them in a sense of hieararchy

- Get rid of all the expectations I have of myself in a social interaction


Will this work? Or is this just ANOTHER set of expectations of myself and am i OVERanalyzing AGAIN?

Thank you

I think it's an excellent start. Everything you mentioned is what you want to be focussing on. Though I know it's not easy, try to go with the flow. A lot of this stuff will work with repeated exposure and over time. If you run up against road blocks along the way try not to over analyse the situation, and be kind to yourself. Good for you for taking an active approach to combating your social phobia. I wish you well.

 

[Rawz]

I want to better this so some actions I'm going to take are:

- Stop trying to AVOID being nervous. Because EVERYtime I try to avoid it it gets worse

Yeah, the more you think about being nervous, the worse it will be. So yes, that could include constantly trying to avoid it. In my experience, it's best to not over think and over analyze your nervousness, etc when putting yourself in social situations--just jump right in. Maybe distract yourself with some other thoughts, things in the room, etc so that it is easier to start talking to someone, etc.

- Expose myself to situations i tend to think "oh I want to avoid this"

Definitely. The more you expose yourself to situations which make you nervous, or that you have very little experience with, the better you will become at handling these situations and your emotions during these situations. It's best to start off small.

And every time after you have completed some situation, especially when you do okay in it, try hard to complement yourself. Think about how well you did or, if you didn't do well, tell yourself that it's okay and that it was still good that you put yourself in that situation, because you can learn from everything that happened. Which makes you a more experienced and smarter person.

- Stop seeing people as a threat and seeing myself not being good enough

Yes. There are plenty of people out there that are not threats. They're not going to intentionally hurt you physically or emotionally. You don't have to be afraid of everyone (but there are probably some people out there that you should be afraid of ). I'm sure there are things about yourself that are positives--things that you are good at, etc.

Taking good care of yourself also helps you to feel good about yourself--regular exercise, healthy diet, good hygiene, etc. If you do these things and continually remind yourself about each of them (each exercise, each hygiene practice, even individual food items), you will feel a lot better about yourself.

Will this work? Or is this just ANOTHER set of expectations of myself and am i OVERanalyzing AGAIN?

No, I don't think you are over analyzing here. I think you have taken the time to think about things to help you reduce your social phobia and you are trying to improve yourself. This is good. If you keep this up--especially practicing all these things in situations that you are uncomfortable/un-experienced in--I'm sure you will get better.

Good luck, Rameses.

 

[Srijita52]

I think it's an excellent start. Everything you mentioned is what you want to be focussing on. Though I know it's not easy, try to go with the flow. A lot of this stuff will work with repeated exposure and over time. If you run up against road blocks along the way try not to over analyse the situation, and be kind to yourself. Good for you for taking an active approach to combating your social phobia. I wish you well.

I completely agree, good luck Rameses and welcome to the forum.