Hi Blue,
I'm still going-on about this Mindfulness stuff here. It is just that I really feel that it is helpful to me.
I don't go out much and so it is not easy to tell how well it is working. I am still a bit apprehensive about facing the world (however, I believe that his is completely understandable considering how difficult my last two experiences were in the workforce -these were harrowing experiences for me and I have been taking my time out just to get some peace of mind)
But back to what I want to say to you... I have been using Mindfulness for my problems. Now, are you aware that some psychiatrists are saying that Mindfulness is helpful when CBT is not; and that CBT can in fact exasperate anxiety conditions-? That Mindfulness is especially helpful when 'ruminating' is more habitual for a person, and likewise in cases where a person has suffered more bouts of either depression or anxiety. In other words, where the unhelpful thinking patterns are more entrenched Mindfulness is better than CBT and CBT can even make a problem worse.
This is perhaps not unlike saying that Mindfulness helps for impulsive and/or compulsive emotions and thoughts. In other words, it is a better strategy -at least in terms of giving a basic foundation upon which to then tackle anxiety. first of all it gives basic peace of mind. It stills the mind. I have heard the following analogy for Mindfulness and other stabilising kinds of meditation... 'that it is like letting the mud in a glass of water settle, and then the water is clearer; but try to think or do anthing about a problem without having done this first, and the water is stirred-up, becomind muddy again'.
...So if you find that emotions and thoughts are too entrenched, unconcious, and impulsive/compulsive -or as you put it, you believe that there is an obsessive compulsive aspect to your condition- then I really believe that Mindfulness will help you get past this hurdle. And I also think that without Mindfulness, things will be harder than they need to be.
Now, I just wanted to say to you that -whilst it is early days for me still- nonetheless, even the last few days, during which I have been doing more social things (it has been my Birthday for one, and it has also been Easter so I have been going to church and a few celebrations) I have found that I experience much less anxious feelings and inner tension. Even if at first, I experience a rush of dread and acute self-consciousness, my new Mindful approach (that I have been adopting and making a part of my thinking more through both Mindfulness Meditation and an overall approach in general) seems to make it so that these strong fearful feelings I am able to get under control -with some effort yes, however, the effort is minimal by comparison to the harrowing experience of feeling emotionally out of control.
In fact, practising a Mindful outlook is not such an effort, it is more that I am required to remember to think in such a way.
But I tell you something -when I do remember to think in this way, the focus stops being my fears and already because of this, my fears have become smaller. And that is the beauty of mindfulness -it takes the focus off the fear and puts value instead on accepting everything. That there is nothing I need to worry about or hide or try to avoid. And if I make a mistake -this is not a problem from the perspective of Mindfulness, which is accepting of everything.
I think that with me and probably with all of us phobia sufferers, that despite how well we realise our fears are irrational that we nonethelss are under their spell. That we are stuck within a largely unconcious judgement of our emotions. I believe that we are highly sensitive creatures and that this sensitivity makes us vulnerable to experiencing a high degree of pain and/or disorientation (because we pick-up on so much of what is around us) and the natural accompanying resonse to this high sensitivity to pain and/or stimulus in general is that we try to stop such feelings.
You will know from your reading in psychology that we require to cease judging our sensitivity and also our anxiety -and that the more that we judge and try to stop such reactions that the more entrenched we are in such feelings: we get stuck within a vicious circle of anxiety. And so, what began as a high sensitivity quickly or easily slipped into an anxiety disorder.
Well, I think that it is hard for us to convince ourselves to no-longer judge our sensitivity -just as our reactions to things register as some form of pain and high discomfort. ...But here is where Mindfulness helps, I believe- it sets a whole new perception from the outset. We allow our emotions regardles of how overreactive or out-of-control we fear they may be and the only object of our concentration is upon being Mindful it self.
This gets us away from focussing on our fears and our negative reactions. They say that the mind can only focus truly on positive things and that negative things, because they involve an avoidance of something, are of no help to a person.
Well, in any case, I think that Mindfulness focusses on the process of being calm and secure whilst many other strategies including those that we instinctively and naturally do when we are anxious, have as their focus the absence of calm and security because such things are in fact disguised to seem a more solid form of security -like for example how I have a need for predictable situations which I feel more able to control and somehow imagine that unfamiliar persons or situations are fraught with danger in; this is really quite a superficial assessment of people as my experience in truth is that most people in general are reasonably nice and pleasant and that there isn't really that much to fear from them.
...we are chasing something and the more we chase it the more it eludes us... Whereas with Mindfulness, I belive that we are offered the chance and the direction to focus on 'no-thing' ...that is, to create security for ourselves from scratch as opposed to searching desparately for it all the while never finding it. We look for something where it does not exist. And if we could get out of such a trap we could see that some security does exist for us, but that we need to quit needing so much first.
Then, when we can do this -when we can 'go with the flow'- nature takes care of the rest
So I am finding using Mindfulness to be helping me in anxious situations. It allows me to make mistakes and makes it so that I have no fear of mistakes because now my focus, my values, are different -they are focussed on my accepting every thought and feeling. I am defining success and confidence in a new way. And if I screw-up there is no problem -because Mindfulness means that the process of being Mindful is everything. ...If I am going round in circles -viciously even- then I will correct my vision and see that the process is the aim. Or, to use a really corny saying: the journey is the destination. All my security and peace of mind is here.
I hope that you have the same experience with Mindfulness as me. Or otherwise with some other kind of technique. And even though it is early days still, my confidence and faith in this technique and outlook is growing all the time.
Here is a basic description of Mindfulness again...
Whatever thoughts or feelings or sensations arise, let them arise without any attempt to control or to do anything about them. Simply notice them with the attitude of an Impartial Observer. With practise these intruding thoughts and emotions will lose their power and will come and go. There is no judgement involved, and no attempt at control.
-this strategy for dealing with anxiety in the moment that it is experienced can be practised for periods of time throughout the day, when for example watching television or ironing. It is also a good idea to practise Mindfulness in meditation, combined with other beneficial kinds of meditation.
For further information on Mindfulness, see these sites...
www.mindfulrecovery.com
...this is one site that I am really following. The creator uses Minfulness with a meditation that gets the person to reexperience fearful situations, in a way that I believe is designed to desensitize them to these situations.
Also, this site is good...
www.budsas.org
-look at "Mindfulness in Plain English" , at the Chapters on 'Dealing with Distractions'.
