Why is it so hard...

[aj]

...to get someone to meet up with you at the weekend? I've tried SO many times, and this week it's happened yet again. This time I've been talking to a guy who actually seems semi-interested for some reason about having a quick drink on Saturday, as mates. I thought I would finally get a chance to have a normal chat. It's been going on for at least the last week, getting further than it has before, but yet Saturday has still come around and as usual nothing's actually organised and nothing happens. Another shitty day sat at home doing sod all.

What the hell am I meant to do? Or do I have it wrong, do people not actually meet up with each other like this? If they don't want to, why do they always act like they'd love to instead of saying 'no' or ignoring you? I give up...

 

[aj]

I apologise if that was a bit of a rant. Why does everyone do this to me without fail? I'm out of ideas

 

[NothingElseMatters]

...to get someone to meet up with you at the weekend? I've tried SO many times, and this week it's happened yet again. This time I've been talking to a guy who actually seems semi-interested for some reason about having a quick drink on Saturday, as mates. I thought I would finally get a chance to have a normal chat. It's been going on for at least the last week, getting further than it has before, but yet Saturday has still come around and as usual nothing's actually organised and nothing happens. Another shitty day sat at home doing sod all.

What the hell am I meant to do? Or do I have it wrong, do people not actually meet up with each other like this? If they don't want to, why do they always act like they'd love to instead of saying 'no' or ignoring you? I give up...

aj maybe if you continue to try you will find someone to go out with but maybe also make a good friend.Does it really matter if you ask a 100 people and they say no,but you find 1 that's willing to go out?i bet you r gonna forget about the others

 

[aj]

Well that's what I thought. Yeah it's not exactly hundreds but I've asked at least 8 people over the last years or so. All of them people who I work/worked with. I've run out, there aren't any more. I'd love to think that going up to someone new and chatting to them during a break would end up with something happening, but it won't.

I thought that having a chat with someone I knew would teach me the basics and get me off the ground. I stupidly thought that last weekend could have been it. Again.

I have also put a profile out there on dating sites but my inbox stays empty, even if I send massages out, and even though they don't know about my problems. My profile or photo is not that bad and, no, I don't send messages like 'hey ur hot'.

Everything I've done has resulted in absolutely nothing. Surely something should happen somewhere even if it's a small thing?

 

[Beyondshy]

You ask people from work? Would it be possible for you to ask more than one person to meet you? Perhaps they'd feel more comfortable with that, they may be shy! And then if one cancels, you still have the other(s)!

 

[atvsamala]

It's hard to say if someone is really interested in being with you or they're just playing mind games with you. They may probably say yes to meeting you on weekends just so you won't get mad when they actually want to say that they are not interested in you.

I think the easiest way for you to make friends is to join a club or two that you like. For instance, if you love hiking or being around nature, you can join a mountain climbing club where you can be with people who share some similar interests with you. You can go to the trips that your club may have and bond with the people there.

Regards,
atvsamala

 

[aj]

This has probably been gone though a hundred times before, but can you think of any things that are kind of general interest and hopefully don't carry too much if any commitment?

I like watching motor racing and planes, but other than that... other than computers, I guess, reluctantly... I don't know what I like, I don't have any interests.

I don't know how to find out what I like!

It's difficult. I mean, I like animals, so I could see about helping out at the RSPCA. There should be some nice people there too. But I think that's too much of a commitment and I'm not going to be able (or want, who knows) to keep it going. If I tried to start doing it, I'd be going into it knowing this full well.

 

[WelshOne]

Try not to take it personally when people dont want to meet up at weekends and stuff. I think a lot of people already have a set of friends they're happy with, and aren't so interested in branching out. This is going to be my problem when I start college, I think, so I wont be surprised if my social situation stays more or less the same after I start

If you like motor racing, you could offer to marshall at a track near you. Or if you have a car, maybe try joining an owners club (forum) online - they seem to do a lot of meets in the UK, and you could find a bunch of people local to you.

I like the idea of volunteering at the RSPCA too... wish I had the guts to do something like that myself.

 

[aj]

I just don't think I would be able to keep at something. It wouldn't be fair on anyone. I literally have no other interests... how do you find them? How do you know what to try? Where do you get ideas from?

As a last resort I was thinking about getting in contact with someone who I knew (wasn't actually friends with) at school, who I see around occasionally. But every time I think about people from school I get this horrible feeling inside. I don't know if it's because they live too close to me, if my little town is too cosy, if it's not just wanting to go back to that time, or what. And if I did, other people who knew me will come back into my life, and there won't be any going back. I feel like I escaped something even if it wasn't any greener on the other side

I am really getting tired of it all now. Each time I go places or on a holiday with my parents I feel so much worse. I sometimes break and ask people I know at work to help, but then I don't know what to ask.

I feel like I have missed too much, I'm fighting a losing battle, I've had some really happy times which I'll never beat, and I really don't want to be here any more.

 

[JA2007]

The same thing happens to me! Actually just today I was supposed to go on a small road trip with two friends from work but they both just ignored me all day. I felt stupid calling them to see if they were still on, just to have them not answer and never call me back. I have to face them tomorrow. It will be hard for me to not be rude with them. I am trying to be forgiving because sometimes I think they get shy too and are afraid to go out. But I know I will hear all kinds of b.s. excuses at work tomorrow about why they couldn't go and I'll want to say "you should have called. Stop being fake."

 

[aj]

Since July 2007 I've tried countless things. I am a little more comfortable than I was back then, and that has made absolutely no difference. Not one thing has worked. I like motorsport and up to date music... is this unusual? How can I not have anyone to talk to!?

I tried to say hello to some new people at lunchtime one day last week... I walked past them three times, I could not do it.

Maybe I should just post a note on Facebook begging for someone to let me go along with them to a film or something. Maybe that could work.

It feels like it would be so much help if I could only get my foot onto the ladder. But it seems to be impossible, even just to start.

And I'm 22 at the end of the month, so another birthday while I'm feeling like I shouldn't even be eating my dinner because I'm so pointless. Woohoo.