Anytime I talk to my mom about an issue, she turns the conversation onto herself and make it all about her. Like she downplays it as if I don't need any friends, just family. Even my cousins that live close and are near my age don't have anything to do with me which sucks. I hate living like this. Yeah, I could volunteer blah blah blah. Its just not the same as having a group of people to hang out having a good time.
Why is it my mom acts like this?
- Thread starter CrazyGirl
- Start date
I'm gonna try to explain this better. Yes, I know, that's how people communicate sharing life experiences. However, I know my mom is lying to me when saying things like "you don't need friends when you got family" That comment does nothing but ticks me off and she says it occassionally.
In US, that's how volunteering is too, a large percentage is with disabled and elderly or in Church and don't have the patience or social skills to work with those type of people.
WishingICould
Well-known member
My mum does the same thing. If I complain about anything she'll make it al about her. Yes, she did have a sh*tty childhood etc but that doesn't make my problems any less real. I'm not really sure how you can get through to people like that. Instead of volunteering could you maybe get a hobby and meet people that way?
IntheLabyrinth
Well-known member
Maybe you could try telling your mom as tactfully as possible that you need for her to just listen to you with out offering advice (better way than saying making about her). Or talk to someone if that's possible.
ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
I think she's probably co-dependent on you. If you had friends and your own life you may not need her as much.
My mom had a crappy childhood too. She doesn't get it how I feel when I see both of my younger siblings that are in a relationship and living on their own then seeing her and my dad being married over 30yrs. and them going out with their friends and chatting on the phone. I don't get it when my mom tells me I don't need friends when she has friends of her own.
I realized that the fact of not having friends didn't bother me until my late 20's when I started hanging out with an old friend that doesn't have anything to do with me anymore and opening a facebook account. All facebook did was intensify the fact that I don't have any close friends, just merely acquaitances or former co-workers. I wasn't really into myspace
Prior to that, I was in my own little world, never got into the "party" scence like my siblings did because my mom was obsessed about us not becoming alcoholics, heck, I barely touched any beer until I was after 26yrs.
Last edited:
I've thought about that. I don't know why though. I rarely have anything to do with her outside of the home. She doesn't get it that it has to do with how she has treated me in the past and now. And if I confront her about it she either denies it or make excuses for her behavior.
Last edited: