Why don't people understend my SA? Cries!!! Why why why why why???

[Social@nxietyMaster]

Every time my social anxiety forces me to be visibly shy poeple tend to rush me and ask me why I'm so clumsy, quiet, or wierd. I HATE THAT!!! One time I actually tried to explain myself to a few people and they just shot it off to the side and told me that I was making excuses for being lame or just simply being a great big PUSSY! I can remember one time when I was in my math class when the teacher was telling us our grades and every one in the class had the teacher say their grades out loud, but I was the only one who wanted to keep my grade private; and just because of that one guy actually told me that I was just being plain scary. I HATED THAT!!!

Why don't people just understand that everyone is not comfortable with being extroverted. There's no point in explaining it to them because people just hear what your saying and not listening or they just think that you are making excuses. I HATE THIS!!! Believe me, I don't wan't to let this negative comments get to me so much, but I'm just so damn sensitive.

Whenever I'm around people I feel like a frieghtened viper. Very anxious in situations when there are people around, sensitive to noise, and I'm always on edge. I HATE THIS!!! When people say negative things about me it just makes things worst. There were even times were people beat me up because I was so wierd to them. I'm the type of person who doesn't handle conflict very well. Because every time I try to handle it assertively people still run over me or down right embarrass me. I HATE THIS!!!

I'm just so tired of this you just don't know. Usually people would be contemplating suicide right now, but I fear that I'm becoming more homicidal than suicidal. I have so much negative feeling towards people it forces me to think of very disturbing things that I wan't to do to them. This viper is ready to strike at any moment now and its not going to be pretty. PLEASE HELP!!! I don't want to listen to the voices I'm starting to hear in my head.

 

[Social@nxietyMaster]

Can someone please give me some quick tips to help ease this anxiety that I am feeling. PLEASE REPLY!!!

 

[WantToHide]

You seem to be a little bit overwhelmed. You seem to be focussing on all the bad things that you have experienced. Society doesn't always understand us, and I suppose, why should they? If they haven't experienced SA, how could they know? It is horrible being asked "why don't you talk?" or whatever, and although it's really awful to be asked because you feel like you've been put on the spot, most people do it out of genuine concern. They wonder if you're feeling ok or they're trying to find out what they can do to make things better so that you feel more comfortable around them.

Also, some people are just not nice, and will say things to make others feel bad. You can't change this. These people have their own issues and reasons for being mean, and you can't get inside their heads and correct them. But you can change you. You can realise that these people are not worth your anger, in fact, they probably don't even know that you're angry. So while you're sitting with your blood boiling, they're out having fun. You have to let go for your own sake, so that instead of wasting time and energy hating them, you spend your energy on making your life how you want it.

When you're feeling a bit low, don't force yourself into big groups or with people you don't like, instead, spend time with a few people who you like, or spend time doing a hobby, which makes you feel better.

I know things are overwhelming at the moment and you are angry that people aren't treating you right, but for now, I think you should focus on yourself and treating yourself right. Once you've mastered that, the rest of the world will follow.

You have friends here, so you're not alone. I see you're new to the forum, so I hope it provides you with some comfort when you're down and some inspiration too.

Take care of yourself

 

[caringsoul]

its not that they dont understand, its more like they see it as a weakness and they dont support that personality, so they wont let u be. they want u to come out of your shell, and they believe being confident is the best way in life. if they know u have sa, what do you expect them to do? make most of the effort to friend you, while you sit there and be quiet? or to ignore you? i mean what are you trying to say and want them to do by telling them you have social anxiety?

The thing about life, is that people tend to pick on the quiet one.. if you cant stand up for yourself, people naturally think you are easy to step on, and they will keep doing that to you until you do something to prove them wrong. i know its mean, but bullys are like that. bullys are heartless and unreasonable. they have no feelings, thats why they pick on u. just dont let them get u.

If you are facing problems at school, you should talk to the teachers or someone who can help you.

 

[Pearldaffodil]

Hey, just checking to see if you are doing OK right now?

 

[Social@nxietyMaster]

I appreciate the advice, but if I stand up for myself it's not going to be anything pretty about it. Believe me, when I stand up for myself the big bad bullies will KNOW!!!

 

[Social@nxietyMaster]

Their always trying to do their best to correct me, so I think it's only fair that I come back hard and correct them. HOW ABOUT THAT!!!

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

How about stop giving them so much power over you? This is one of the hardest thing for those with SA and hell anyone to do; for I know I can become dependent on others for approval and other things. So their feelings about what they think about me means a lot when frankly - it shouldn't. I mean - those close to you YES but not to a point where they rule your every actions. Easier said than done I know - but that's the goal to work on, and it takes A LOT of work to get there.

Seriously, lifes too short to waste your energy hating others. You may not be able to change always how ppl react to you but you CAN how YOU react to them. And that in turn may change their reactions. Because ppl feed off energies. When I feign assertiveness it's like a rock through paper because that's what it is. I don't actually believe in it - but when I DO it's like a steel wall.

I myself am still wading and learning this I don't do it always but from my experience it's true.

Everyone feels frustrated and wanting to do bad things to ppl - but don't actually do that. Not to offend you - but that's the easy way to actually hurt others because they hurt you. YOU CAN DO MORE THAN YOU THINK, MATE! You should look into relaxation techniques and seek more help from therapy maybe.