Why does low self-esteem take so much effort?

[reslo]

Why do I constantly have to tell myself "I hate myself" and tell myself how stupid I am multiple times on a daily basis if it's true? How come I haven't accepted my stupidity and moved on with my life?
Just saying, because, I know that I've mentally told myself negative things THOUSANDS of times throughout my 23 year lifespan... I don't know- there's been no one in my life that has been as verbally and (on rare occasion) physically abusive to myself than.... me.

 

[Anomaly]

*shrugs* Arbitrary standards?

 

[Qbmaster]

Exactly! All that negative thinking takes a lot of effort and only results in pain. I have trained myself to identify my negative thoughts, and once I started doing this I realized how many negative assumptions I make about myself and my own ability all the time. There is so much "I can't do this", "I'm not good enough for this", "I don't belong in this group", "He/she doesn't like me" floating around in my head all the time. I have become pretty good at handling social interactions, but getting rid of all the negative thoughts that cause low self esteem is harder.

 

[megalon]

The low self esteem is pretty well reinforced for me. The positive thinking is what takes so much effort.

 

[lithiumflower]

The low self esteem is pretty well reinforced for me. The positive thinking is what takes so much effort.

Same for me.

 

[Pink_Paula]

Affirmations, be they negative or positive build our self-image over time. I think many of us are just used to believing the worst about ourselves and it becomes part of us. It is so ingrained in us that we have a difficult time allowing ourselves to believe otherwise. You say you put so much effort in tearing yourself down? That means you're just as capable of putting just as much effort in bulding yourself up. You do have that power over yourself. You just have to decide whether you want to feed your self-esteem in a positive or negative way.

I totally agree with this, we find it so easy to put ourselves down and dislike ourselves, you'd think beginning to like ourselves should be just as easy, but nope i find whenever i try to be positive about myself i can't do it, i've disliked myself for so long now it's hard to believe anything good about me!

 

[redski]

This low self esteem thing and negative criticism is apparently a very much SA characteristic.

 

[Bemzy]

The low self esteem is pretty well reinforced for me. The positive thinking is what takes so much effort.

I'd say positive thinking dictates a huge effort on your behalf initially but it gets easier with repetition...like all other habits in life.