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Kind of went down a step today. If anyone remembers that number thing I told you about (The 0 to 10 scale). I had just gotten myself to number 3 but today I thought about 1 one my worst lessons too much and it made me unwell (Still don't feel good now) I ended up freaking out completely, shaking, crying anf getting my mum to call my college and tell them I'm unwell.
I don't know what came over me. I did well in her lesson last week. I fell all the way back down to number 1. :(


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There's 1 lesson that I'm really scared of and lately I've been doing well SA wise in there but today I thought about the lesson and how she usually makes us all talk in front of the class. I kept worrying about that and eventually worried myself sick.


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You must realize something. It's GOING to happen. Keep that very thought in your head. You will have an anxiety attack again. YOu see, what happens is, one day you have this TRIUMPHANT day and you feel great and wonder why you felt so bad before, then all the sudden you get too confident and get off your track and then all the sudden you have an anxiety attack and the atttack is BAD and feels awful, then you beat yourself up mentally. it has happened to me. I almost quit my job.

Girl, you are going in a positive direction! Don't stop now, or let this stop you! You have to pick yourself up...take a deep breath and try it again, not go downhill from here, you have to keep going!

I have my bad days too, but those are getting FEW AND FEWer. If i have a bad day, i allow it..

but now, usually i can correct my anxiety. If all the sudden i start to feel anxious, i quickly refocus my thoughts (instead of letting them take over and paralyze me like before) and tell myself that it's okay there's no reason to get nervous, and then all the sudden i start to calm down inside and then i feel peace and start acting like myself and making people laugh..etc.

it's okay, let it happen! allow it. i mean, if you think about it objectively, it's kind of irrational to think you would overcome your anxiety in a week. It takes time and practice..and you'll make being happy a habit..and the attacks will become less and less. but when they do happen you have to just let them come...and deal with it...refocus your thoughts an dyour behavior..and then you'll start feeling better. .




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Its in my head much clearer today. I spoke to the teacher of that class (And got my homework :evil: lol)
I know getting better is a long process and I'm not expection miricales. I just got really dissapointed. I didn't use anything I learnt in Therapy and went back to the way I was.
I'm alot better today though. Thinking back on yesterday I can't believe how silly it was. :roll:


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I am so proud of you.

Like Jess said, you came so far and should not turn back now. Just keep going. Don't let one bad day or moment push you away from your goal.

You may be younger than me, but you are my role-model. You are a very strong person.


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Hi, Secret Smile.

Jess and MarCPatt are right. Hang-in-there. I've been in therapy for approximately ten years (You may not stay in therapy that long. I may be in therapy because I'm so psychologically messed up! :lol: :lol: 8O :lol: ) However, I've never been happier. In my undergraduate years, I would never think that my life could be this way! I'm not saying that everything is rosey-and-great-beyond-comprehension. Things are not. Some people annoy me. I annoy them, too.....Oh, my gosh. I'm not making any sense.

What I am saying is keep Hope. Anything that has any value to it also has some pain attached to it. Happiness has a price too. "No Pain no gain." (It's a darn shame getting rid of shyness doesn't burn calories! Atleast I can get some excercise during the day.) Keep moving toward it. Slowly. Steady. Patiently. Hope is there.