Does anyone here have to deal with this, too? My dad is the more submissive one while my mother is more of the screamer/yeller. It's gotten to the point I always feel like I'm walking on needles whenever my mom blows up on my dad and then she basically gives him the silent treatment.
Last time he went back home to his own country for a few weeks and she saw a picture that was taken of him and a female friend. She seemed fine with it at first; didn't make any comment or anything but later on as the days passed she got pissed at him and refused to talk. I'm just sick of her retreating into her protective bubble after she's had her share of yelling/scolding my dad and carrying around this angry aura that creates tension in the house i can clearly feel.
I just had to type about this right now b.c. just a few minutes before my dad came home after spending the day w/ a friend or someone and my mom was waiting up for him, i think, because i kept hearing her footsteps and she kept going up the stairs and then down again a few minutes later. then i heard her call and speak to someone on the phone and then proceed to wait some more. when he finally did come home she let him have it. I'm overhearing all of this as i am in the basement.
apparently she had called the person who my dad said he spent the day with and had dinner with and the guy had said he did not see my dad all day b.c. he was working. my mom sounded furious. her rage in her voice was akin to my childhood days when she was pissed at me. my dad insisted that he was w/ his guy friend until she told him who she had called and what that person had said. so my dad said that he had spent the day w/ his female cousin. my mom was screaming at him, then why did you lie to me?!! his answer was, you're always thinking i'm fooling around.
When he said "fooling around" he meant that my mom was always suspicious he was cheating or being intimate w/ another woman. last time i believed my dad when he said the picture w/ the woman was nothing more than a picture. the entire camera film had pictures of him hugging his male friends, too, since they were out drinking a bit. That's the type of friendly person my dad is. But my mom was jealous of that woman. I can't help but feel she is so possessive sometimes. It's like she wants to control my dad. She even threatened to follow him the next time he goes on vacation alone.
If i could portray the personalities of my parents this is how it'd be. My dad is a free spirit. he doesn't like people holding him down or using invisible string in the form of restrictions to bind him to one place. he likes running from place to place to visit friends and chats on the phone a lot. i would say he has his flaws, too, because he's there because of me and my brother but i also feel since my brother and I have gotten older he leaves the house more to hang out w/ his friends more often. in that way i feel i've lost my closeness w/ my father but i can't change who he is. my dad is a friendly person. he's very kind and willing to help out people. even when he's encountered some ppl who treat him bad or try to con him he may feel bitter in the moment but the next person he encounters he still won't hardened his heart to.
While my mom on the other hand she's the one who is always suspicious of people. she calls my dad a fool for trusting so easily. she always has to talk about protecting oneself by keeping one's guard up but really i feel she doesn't know when to let her vulnerability show. that's why i find it so hard to connect with her. in my childhood her temper was very notorious and her words harsh. she scared me enough that i started to back away from her and since then we aren't close. when she has a meltdown and doesn't talk to my dad i just let her be. in fact i want nothing to do with the situation. it makes it all the more difficult because sometimes i get angry like wtf do i have to be in the middle of all this **** under this roof? if they can't work out their problems why not just get a ****ing divorce.
Last time he went back home to his own country for a few weeks and she saw a picture that was taken of him and a female friend. She seemed fine with it at first; didn't make any comment or anything but later on as the days passed she got pissed at him and refused to talk. I'm just sick of her retreating into her protective bubble after she's had her share of yelling/scolding my dad and carrying around this angry aura that creates tension in the house i can clearly feel.
I just had to type about this right now b.c. just a few minutes before my dad came home after spending the day w/ a friend or someone and my mom was waiting up for him, i think, because i kept hearing her footsteps and she kept going up the stairs and then down again a few minutes later. then i heard her call and speak to someone on the phone and then proceed to wait some more. when he finally did come home she let him have it. I'm overhearing all of this as i am in the basement.
apparently she had called the person who my dad said he spent the day with and had dinner with and the guy had said he did not see my dad all day b.c. he was working. my mom sounded furious. her rage in her voice was akin to my childhood days when she was pissed at me. my dad insisted that he was w/ his guy friend until she told him who she had called and what that person had said. so my dad said that he had spent the day w/ his female cousin. my mom was screaming at him, then why did you lie to me?!! his answer was, you're always thinking i'm fooling around.
When he said "fooling around" he meant that my mom was always suspicious he was cheating or being intimate w/ another woman. last time i believed my dad when he said the picture w/ the woman was nothing more than a picture. the entire camera film had pictures of him hugging his male friends, too, since they were out drinking a bit. That's the type of friendly person my dad is. But my mom was jealous of that woman. I can't help but feel she is so possessive sometimes. It's like she wants to control my dad. She even threatened to follow him the next time he goes on vacation alone.
If i could portray the personalities of my parents this is how it'd be. My dad is a free spirit. he doesn't like people holding him down or using invisible string in the form of restrictions to bind him to one place. he likes running from place to place to visit friends and chats on the phone a lot. i would say he has his flaws, too, because he's there because of me and my brother but i also feel since my brother and I have gotten older he leaves the house more to hang out w/ his friends more often. in that way i feel i've lost my closeness w/ my father but i can't change who he is. my dad is a friendly person. he's very kind and willing to help out people. even when he's encountered some ppl who treat him bad or try to con him he may feel bitter in the moment but the next person he encounters he still won't hardened his heart to.
While my mom on the other hand she's the one who is always suspicious of people. she calls my dad a fool for trusting so easily. she always has to talk about protecting oneself by keeping one's guard up but really i feel she doesn't know when to let her vulnerability show. that's why i find it so hard to connect with her. in my childhood her temper was very notorious and her words harsh. she scared me enough that i started to back away from her and since then we aren't close. when she has a meltdown and doesn't talk to my dad i just let her be. in fact i want nothing to do with the situation. it makes it all the more difficult because sometimes i get angry like wtf do i have to be in the middle of all this **** under this roof? if they can't work out their problems why not just get a ****ing divorce.