When to stop calling

[zav943]

Hey everyone,

I guess, judging by my elevated activity here recently, I'm going through a bit of lull these days...

I was just wondering - because this happens to me more often than it should - if you call someone and they don't pick up...how many more times do you call/email/text them before you're supposed to "take the hint" and realize that they just don't want to talk to you?

I don't take offense to it....if you don't want to talk to me at all, I understand (and I've accepted that there's a lot of people who fall into this category judging by the 10% returned missed calls rate, which MAY BE because the person doesn't have call display). But I need to know if there's some unwritten rule about when to stop, especially if it's a girl...because the more I try, the worse I'll feel afterwards as it just reaffirms the fact that the person in question REALLY doesn't want to talk to me!

So do you have a rule on this? one call+one text? two calls+voice message? three calls???

 

[mrb]

spam em alive lolzzzzzzzzz in the end they will crack

 

[BlackPuma]

When they don't call me back I have this rule:

Call twice a day (one in the morning/afternoon and one in the evening). Leave a day in between. Call twice again the next day. Leave another day in between. Call them twice again the next day. Send a text the day after that, (so no day in between) asking if they could call me back. If there's no call back even after 6 days, I give up.

Put simply it's: Call 2x, Wait, Call 2x, Wait, Call 2x, Text.



That is, unless it's urgent. When it's urgent I use the 'twice a day' rule every day until they pick up. :3

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

I think there's a fine line between persistence and pestering.

If it's a girl you are calling, I'd say you should probably take the hint after two unanswered/unreturned calls. Then again, perhaps I just give up too easily.

 

[mads]

I think the "call rules" are different for each person. Some people accept more than others. But I think the most important is the time between the calls.

If you for instance call once every day then I dont see a problem but try to text. Then you may get an answer. There is no problem in saying. Hey just called but you didnt answer. Call me back when you have time. Something like that.

 

[mrb]

I think the "call rules" are different for each person yes this , it depends on the freindship ... you know her better than us , this may seem silly but just leave some funny e mail to her , throw a little humor into it about her not talking to you and wait ... if no responce well ..... do the same again if no reponce well ...... give up , the last thing you want is to annoy ...... but i know this if its a girl , and you are sweet on her , just hide your feelings and be a freind .... a freind is better than no contact at all .......

 

[Fighter86]

Hmm..not sure about this, I guess I just assess the situation by gut feel. Quite a number of weeks back, I met with an ex-colleague for dinner and I thought things went well, we even messaged at length after the dinner. A couple weeks later, he messaged me about my new job, but not sure what happened afterwards, I messaged back and he was taking a long time to reply, like days and days before he replied, so basically we were exchanging messages like days apart from the previous one being sent. I just decided not to reply the last message he sent me, which was like a couple weeks he took to reply after I sent him the message. Not sure what went wrong, I thought things were going well, now I wonder if I said something that upsetted him during the dinner, but he seemed fine and we parted fine, and its not like I can call him up and asked him what went wrong, he would probably think I am nuts or something. A pity though, because I really wanted to transit him from ex-colleague to friend, but hardly imagining that happening now ::