when someone brings up your SA

[skins]

..................

 

[maggie]

hiya skins.....i would feel just like you.....i wouldn't like a comment like that either....cause, weddings and other family gatherings like that make me really nervous too....and even though it is a happy event....doesn't mean you can "turn off" your anxiety.....and if i have a miserable or upset look on my face....it's not like i can control it when i'm stressed out....and comments like that don't help :roll: ...and you're right, other people just don't understand how we feel...but...good luck at the wedding...i hope it goes well for you

 

[Chilling__Echo]

wow, that was a really inconsiderate comment by your mum. it's not like you can help it :?

this is why i don't tell people, because they bring it up at inopportune times and it leaves me open to be judged about it. and then when i'm in public, i'm SO paranoid that they're waiting for me to react. so i don't tell them. but i had to tell my mom so that i could get treated.

i'm sorry that happened ((hugs))

 

[flux]

HOpe it went ok skins, I really do. Your mom clearly doesn't get your struggle.
My mom says stuff like that all the time too. I think she is (and my dad) one of the main reasons why I have sa in the first place.
hugs

 

[Septor]

That horrible skins.I know what you went through.A lot of people said the same thing to me and no your not over reacting.Thats why I was always trying to hide it when I was younger.People can say some very insensitive thing.Im sorry you had to go through that.

 

[Gloomy]

I'm 27 and I still get these comments. I have gotten more of them the older I get. If you tell someone of your SA they will make these comments and just make things worse. I get terrible comments from both my parents. My mother doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut and she doesn't listen to me when I tell her to stop. My father is a social retard. He seems to think of what is the worst thing he can say in a situation and that's what he says. Now that my SA secrt is out I have been too scared to go to any family events because I know I will get lots of attention and be bombarded with these comments.

 

[Reholla]

I'm sorry yall have had those problems w/ telling ppl close to you. I guess thats better than me tho b/c I havent even told anyone about it. Ive helped myself all on my own, besides seeing an on-campus counselor one time who had NO idea what she was talking about.

I went and saw her one day cause I got so desperate and so sick of feeling the same miserable way every day. So i go, and that day im feeling extra-anxiety for some reason. Prob. cause this is the first time I heard myself say outloud "i have an anxiety disorder." and it was to a complete stranger. So as shes sitting there telling me about how anxiety is common and its no big deal. Im getting a more and more anxiety stricken feeling. So i thought id be honest and tell her how i was feeling. I was like "To be honest im having anxiety symptoms right now." And she laughed and was like "thats not good!! that kinda defeats the purpose of coming here!!" uggh i could have socked it to her. haha, she clearly didnt understand anxiety. So i know its hard when people dont understand. PPl that havent experienced it really dont know. I dont really blame them b/c its so complicated. I dont really even know where to begin to tell ppl about it.

When i tried to tell my mom about it... I was just like "lately ive had this overwhelming anxiety." Usually shed like ask me specific questions, thats just how my mom is. Shes a nutritionist, so she knows a lot about health. And she was like "well your symptoms sound like you have diabetes!" I was like NOO mother i dont have diabetes! haha And at that point I didnt feel like explaining the rest. lol Ive found if you really want some one to understand, get a book or something. Show them websites and be like, I have all these symptoms.

 

[blight]

Those types of comments are especially bad if you think you've been doing well or better than how you normally are.

I think the main problem with that is that people should be giving positive encouragement.

Yes you can't blame people for not understanding or begin informed on the condition, but anybody should have the ability to be positive about something. I mean, instead of saying "don't act how you normally do", they could point out improvements they see or give a complement.

 

[Richey]

Everytime my mum walks into my room or sees me reading she always makes comments like "are you doing anything social tonight" or "why arn't you going out three times a week like everyone else your age", everytime she walks into a room, and i told her thanks i appreciate the concern and i am trying to develop more relationships but she doesn't stop, she even said to me that "I dont talk about you with my work friends because its too embarrassing so whenever anyone asks i change the subject", how weird is that i mean if my sister had an anxiety problem or any relative i wouldnt feel like they were a burden on anyone, i would try and help them out. My dad has even said to my face comments like "your not my son" and "i just dont like you at all", and that really hurts when it comes from family members, i have tried with them but im almost at the stage where i dont consider them family as i dont believe family would react or treat someone like they treat me, so whenever i come home i just ignore my parents as they are so old fashioned and conservative, they always have to be right and they never look at two sides of the coin or another point of view

 

[spikefan777]

Everytime my mum walks into my room or sees me reading she always makes comments like "are you doing anything social tonight" or "why arn't you going out three times a week like everyone else your age", everytime she walks into a room, and i told her thanks i appreciate the concern and i am trying to develop more relationships but she doesn't stop, she even said to me that "I dont talk about you with my work friends because its too embarrassing so whenever anyone asks i change the subject", how weird is that i mean if my sister had an anxiety problem or any relative i wouldnt feel like they were a burden on anyone, i would try and help them out. My dad has even said to my face comments like "your not my son" and "i just dont like you at all", and that really hurts when it comes from family members, i have tried with them but im almost at the stage where i dont consider them family as i dont believe family would react or treat someone like they treat me, so whenever i come home i just ignore my parents as they are so old fashioned and conservative, they always have to be right and they never look at two sides of the coin or another point of view

And I thought my parents were bad. Wow, sorry to say this but, your parents SUCK. I totally agree, how would being shy make you a burden to others?

 

[Richey]

its interesting to observe how my folks work, ive noticed that my mum will change her opinions so that it doesn't offend my dad who is extremely sensative to his own beliefs, if someone doesnt agree with him on any topic then he fires up and loses control, my folks also have no interests in music or art or sport, my dad works a job that he despises and comes home angry, its the angry old man mentality that he carries with him every day, so material wise my parents have been supportive but relationship wise and friendship wise they seemed to miss the point of parenting, i dont blame them for any of my problems but they certainly dont help at all with their attitudes, for example because i accidentally left the milk out for a half an hour i have been told that i must wake up at 8.00 am every morning and if im even one minute over 8.00am then ill have to pack my bags and move out, this is the kind of drama i live with every day and its motivating me to move out like never before, im glad your folks arn't like this, i think that its way over the top

 

[redlady]

:?: