People don't understand me. Just like I said on my last thread. My grandma's maid told me that my parents sent me to the Philippines because the family were irritated about me.I was hurt when I heard it but I completely understand. I never done anything to hurt them, well probably. I was maybe the most embarrasing member of the family. My grandma would sometimes say" Smile girl! Smile for no reason! Smile even if you look at your enemies!" that is kind of irritating because I'm not a bubbly girl. my grandma's friend said that I should quit self-cutting because people will think as you as a drug addict. Just wow even self-harmers don't do drugs and I never do drugs. I hate it when people say that I should stop acting like I had depression but I'm not even acting. I don't even act just to get sympathy. I'm like this because I hate myself. The more I see airheads telling me what to do(sorry but grandma is one of them), The more I'm starting to not like other people. My family doesn't even understand me. I remember when I started sitting on a couch, one of my cousins will tend to walk away as if I did something wrong, even though I didn't do anything. Also my family are Christians. I use to believe God but I hate believing about the whole heaven and hell thing. How about you guys, do you feel like no one understands you?
When people don't understand you
- Thread starter sillyrabbit231
- Start date
Niteowl
Well-known member
Yeah, sometimes. I generally find my mum quite understanding, but I've got a MOCK interview today (I wouldn't have been as worried about it as I am, but my mum has spent the last fortnight making it sound far more serious than it is). She told me to try and "be more confident for ten minutes", as if it's as simple as flicking a switch. My self-confidence is at rock bottom. I find nothing more difficult than talking about myself, unless I'm putting myself down. I can't believe that I'm anything good. I hate talking about my interests, and I hate talking about my feelings. These things are EXPECTED of me, I'm supposed to be able to do them. I was more or less forced into signing on with the Job Centre, and now I'm under pressure to send out applications to places that I know want somebody confident, and to be good with interviews. I hate going to the Job Centre. I hate taking money that I neither want nor need. My parents always tell me that loads of people signing on have no interest in finding work, and that I have some sort of right to JSA because I genuinely want to work. Yeah, I do want to work, but I wanted to take things at my own pace. It's so self-destroying having to send out applications when I KNOW I'm going to get rejection after rejection, as usual, and that even if I somehow don't get a rejection, the next step is an interview - and then I'll get a rejection for sure. It's not worth £50 a week or whatever it is. See, I don't know, because I don't care about it, and I don't spend it.
I want a job so badly, but there's only so far I'm capable of going to search for one. Taking it to the Job Centre is a step too far. I was sending out applications for jobs that I thought I might be able to do. I was, and still am, doing voluntary work two days a week. I go to a training centre for help twice, and soon three times, a week. I think that doing these things would be some sort of help to my confidence if I wasn't going to the Job Centre every single week, once a fortnight to sign on and on the other weeks to let my mum talk for me about how she thinks they could be helping me with this, that and the other. My mum is a massive help with the Job Centre stuff, but I really just want to deal with things in my own way. No one seems to think that I'm capable of doing that, but getting the voluntary work was all down to me, I went to the trouble of sorting that out by myself, and the same pretty much goes for the training centre too.
The worst part is, if I didn't have to be at the Job Centre at 2 o'clock for this waste-of-time pretend-interview, I could have been at the training centre with a group of people I could have been getting to know, and I could actually be getting some benefit out of my time. I just don't have it in me to take an interview right now, pretend or not.
I want a job so badly, but there's only so far I'm capable of going to search for one. Taking it to the Job Centre is a step too far. I was sending out applications for jobs that I thought I might be able to do. I was, and still am, doing voluntary work two days a week. I go to a training centre for help twice, and soon three times, a week. I think that doing these things would be some sort of help to my confidence if I wasn't going to the Job Centre every single week, once a fortnight to sign on and on the other weeks to let my mum talk for me about how she thinks they could be helping me with this, that and the other. My mum is a massive help with the Job Centre stuff, but I really just want to deal with things in my own way. No one seems to think that I'm capable of doing that, but getting the voluntary work was all down to me, I went to the trouble of sorting that out by myself, and the same pretty much goes for the training centre too.
The worst part is, if I didn't have to be at the Job Centre at 2 o'clock for this waste-of-time pretend-interview, I could have been at the training centre with a group of people I could have been getting to know, and I could actually be getting some benefit out of my time. I just don't have it in me to take an interview right now, pretend or not.
Azael
Well-known member
I was in a similar position to you Niteowl. I was forced into signing on a while back. The people at the JobCentre are soul destroying. So, in short, by the end of my experience there and after having my job axed I was in a much worse state of being. That's what I struggle to get through to people, particularly my family. They want everything on their terms and will not help you to help themselves. Nearly a decade ago I asked for help with my AvPD and BDD, though I did not know them by definition then. They were too happy living the good life. Now that they want money they'll hang me out to dry for whatever they can get out of me. That frustrates me very much. If they were interested in dealing with me all those years ago I would be in a position now to help them. Something that I would naturally like to do.
spring
Well-known member
your grandma's maid?do you trust her with this judgement?
anyways,that is horrible things to say to someone.
don't let these negative comments define you.
and to answer your question,I do feel like people don't get me,and that makes me feel very lonely sometimes.
Rainbow Brite
Active member
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Thanks for the GOD advice. I'll try and understand. My grandma was born catholic. Then her friend introduced her to Christianity. I still don't know if I can do some Christian things.
Rainbow Brite
Active member
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twiggle
Well-known member
My friends and family do seem to understand me.... but I get the feeling a lot of other people don't. Strangers ridicule me. I hear and see it. I think sometimes it takes time for people to understand me but with first impressions meaning so much there's not always the opportunity for that. It bothers me but I just focus on the people who matter... and anyone who ridicules me without even knowing me doesn't matter.
Life is full of contradictions - be who you are and you run the risk of people thinking you're strange, or edit parts of yourself to seem a certain way and people will accuse you of being fake. I think in general it's best just to do and say exactly as you feel regardless of whether or not people understand it.
If people are really worth it, then even if they don't understand you, they'll try to. Have you ever explained to these people why you do the things you do? Maybe that might make them see things from your perspective a bit better.
Life is full of contradictions - be who you are and you run the risk of people thinking you're strange, or edit parts of yourself to seem a certain way and people will accuse you of being fake. I think in general it's best just to do and say exactly as you feel regardless of whether or not people understand it.
If people are really worth it, then even if they don't understand you, they'll try to. Have you ever explained to these people why you do the things you do? Maybe that might make them see things from your perspective a bit better.
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twiggle
Well-known member
I really sympathise with you NiteOwl. I spent several months last year on JSA (although, I did need the money), but I was volunteering at the same time... pretty much full-time work from home. I wasn't getting money for it so I needed a source of income and the JSA was it. I found the people in there very condescending; they obviously thought I was just on JSA because I was lazy and were never any help with finding me paid work. Fingers crossed you won't be on it for long.