When is it OK to feel....?

[razzle dazzle rose]

Now if you hire him because he's your friend, and for only that reason - and you have a bias towards him, then yes that is unfair - What would you do about it if YOU lost out? perhaps nothing - like you say. That's your deal - but if it was *me* then yes I would try and do something about it - but I would like to also do something about it for everyone.

In that scenario what exactly would you do about it? How would you go about changing it for everyone?

 

[KiaKaha]

In that scenario what exactly would you do about it? How would you go about changing it for everyone?

You cant. Because you cant control underlying subtle discriminatory hiring practices. However - I feel that if there is more of an awareness, more of an acknowledgement that this kind of behaviour exists and enough desire, ambition and care to eliminate such behaviour all while promoting an attitude shift - then perhaps it would not be so much of a problem. I think if necessary some degree of regulation could be put in place to at least minimize these kinds of situations.
The only reason why people think that you need to suck it up and deal with inequality is because either they think nothing can be done, there is not enough desire to do something about it - or they simply dont care - or even perhaps there is an element of resentment - why SHOULD people get something? If you are not strong enough - TOUGH.

Funnily enough - all kinds of rights that we all take for granted and that we barely think about exist because somebody out there *did* care enough - they *did* see that things were unfair, unjust and not right - they saw what they percieved as not in control - and guess what - a change came about, so that ALL of us can enjoy the benefits - but there is still a long long way to go in my opinion.

 

[Lea]

I think the best policy is assertiveness, dealing with injustices or exploitations as they arise, and face to face - not later or in a revengefull way. If we think someone treated us unfairly, then we should say that or prevent them doing that - we should do it in a firm but polite manner, or if we see it´s too much or the situation is hopeless, leave.

How else do you think injustice in the world can be eliminated, than being just yourself? You can also be a teacher and try to bring up moral values in children, best serving as your own example.

You can be a humanitarian worker, but that won´t change the roots of this evil. If you give man a fish he will have food for one day, but if you teach him how to catch fish he will have food for the whole life.. Just giving people things will alleviate them for a bit and enables them to survive, but won´t solve the problem of world injustice imo.

You can be a political activist trying to fight against establishment, of course. But as everyone who gets to the top gets corrupted, I don´t have much hopes that there will ever be justice in the world, if you look into history, people were always exploited by those on top. Why, is every single person corruptable? At least you can make sure you aren´t.. Everyone should make sure they are completely honest themselves before going to fight against some injustice in the world, I think. Or do they think their small injustices don´t matter? They DO!

Then there are injustices and unfairness in people´s personal lives, like someone offends or betrays us etc. I think we should deal with this with assertiveness too, then move on and don´t hold the grudge. I have seen ppl who carry their grudges for their whole lives and are unable to forgive, still going on and on how someone did them wrong. I think it is normal to feel hurt and angry for a while, but inability to let go and forgive seems rather like they cannot get over their own ego/hurt pride.

 

[bcsr]

You cant. Because you cant control underlying subtle discriminatory hiring practices. However - I feel that if there is more of an awareness, more of an acknowledgement that this kind of behaviour exists and enough desire, ambition and care to eliminate such behaviour all while promoting an attitude shift - then perhaps it would not be so much of a problem. I think if necessary some degree of regulation could be put in place to at least minimize these kinds of situations.

The only reason why people think that you need to suck it up and deal with inequality is because either they think nothing can be done, there is not enough desire to do something about it - or they simply dont care - or even perhaps there is an element of resentment - why SHOULD people get something? If you are not strong enough - TOUGH.

Create awareness? Everyone knows the world is unfair. By the way, there are already plenty of regulations regarding fair hiring practices. It doesn't change anything. I'm asking you, what are you going to do about not getting a job because I want to hire my friend? Tell me how you're going to change that for yourself, let alone the rest of the world.

Everyone experiences unfair treatment, not everyone chooses to focus on it obsessively.

 

[KiaKaha]

Create awareness? Everyone knows the world is unfair. By the way, there are already plenty of regulations regarding fair hiring practices. It doesn't change anything. I'm asking you, what are you going to do about not getting a job because I want to hire my friend? Tell me how you're going to change that for yourself, let alone the rest of the world.

Everyone experiences unfair treatment, not everyone chooses to focus on it obsessively.

Yes thats right bscr - create awareness - to keep such matters in the back of peoples minds to provoke thought and understanding. And no not everyone does actually. Why do you think there are campaigns that try to raise awareness for all sorts of causes dealing with injustice and other such matters? The reason there are regulations in the first place is because some people decided that they were needed.... but that doesnt mean that ends just there - you dont reach a plateau and say well, thats enough, and pat yourself on the back. As I said before - you cant, not unless I can prove in someway that you hold a bias toward someone in particular, but that doesnt mean that you CANT do anything about it at all - it is all dependant on the particular context and what tools you have at your disposal. What I am suggesting is that if people were more inclined to acknowledge their own behaviour - and others, then perhaps those kinds of situations wouldnt occur to begin with. Mostly I find attitudes where there is acceptance of such matters to be likened to indifference and impassivity.

One thing that I find the most ridiculous is that when people feel upset or hurt - these days you are no longer allowed to grieve or feel any kind of emotion - there is no sympathy or compassion to those who have been hard done by - you get told (or at least it is implied) to harden up, move on and stifle your dissatisfaction. Of course you move on - but that doesnt mean that you shouldnt be allowed to feel a sense of oppression.

 

[Lea]

I actually admire someone´s determination to fight against injustice in the world, I have enough just fighting against/dealing with my father and know it is a hopeless fight. Mentally not OK people just can´t be fighted or convinced that they are doing something wrong or hurting or opressing someone as they don´t care. They will NEVER change, nobody can get them to change. If someone thinks otherwise, they probably never had to deal with such people or just shortly. And the world is full of mentally disordered people. Rules and laws can be made, but what does it help if people´s characters don´t change??

 

[bcsr]

One thing that I find the most ridiculous is that when people feel upset or hurt - these days you are no longer allowed to grieve or feel any kind of emotion - there is no sympathy or compassion to those who have been hard done by - you get told (or at least it is implied) to harden up, move on and stifle your dissatisfaction. Of course you move on - but that doesnt mean that you shouldnt be allowed to feel a sense of oppression.

There's a big difference between feeling a sense of oppression, and obsessing over it.

 

[KiaKaha]

There's a big difference between feeling a sense of oppression, and obsessing over it.

Yes I know. Is that such a bad thing?
Hey who knows - perhaps if people were a little more obsessed about certain things in life rather than "oh well what can you do" - then who knows what could happen - lots of people are obsessed about all kinds of things all the time.

People dont like to rock the boat because they want to keep things simple for themselves - to feel comfortable.. Either that or its because they like to justify the dog eat dog mentality that is so pervasive in society.

 

[kilojoule]

To sum it up

It's always ok to feel...(insert emotion)

But it's only sometimes ok to express ...(insert emotion){ ie not appropriate to express personal feelings in professional setting but ok with a friend/family member.}

And its important for own sake &everyone elses to express and react to feeling [insert emotion] in a healthy manner. {ie not going around lashing out at society but rather finding an outlet in sport/music/art etc}

And if you feel despairing, ask for a little help theres no shame in it!