What's your theory?

[Anubis]

here's another dorky bit. i was thinking about the eye contact part of it. for me it seems that im not afraid of people judging me harshly, but instead it is more like i respect people too much to look at them. it gets dorkier yet. i feel like i can't look at people almost because i see the divine in them. they look too beautiful and their presence is overwhelming. this is problem when this is radiating from absolutely everyone. you see in the old testament there were two quarks about interacting with God. you could not look on the face of God because it would kill you to see something so great, and you could not say his name. both are symptoms of sa, although the name thing is more unusual. i know how it sounds, but where else can you hash out this stuff?

Yea, that's not dorky, I feel the same feeling of "awe" when talking to people, especially if they're more successful than me.

But it's still paralyzing. It seems like that I have way too much "awe" for other people and not myself. I even tried to measure the level of self-awareness and self-esteem I experienced while talking to people during a dinner tonight and I was barely even a blip on my OWN radar (lol). It was like I didn't even exist. I felt like I was there only to accentuate the beauty of those around me. That's how much I "blank" myself out in conversation.

I mean, don't get me wrong, the feeling of "awe" has an oddly "good" feeling, but I feel like I lose so much identity when doing it.

 

[dream]

When i feel insecure which is 88% of the time now it is very difficult to glance at let alone engage in a covo with very attractive women & men.Expecially women, i feel so worthless,ugly,envious of there beauty its like there a princess and im a dirty peasent.Does anyone feel like this?

 

[jamie99]

For me it's bad parenting, something traumatic happened to me, and it's genetic.