What's wrong with being alone?

[blink12]

I'm in high school and I do have friends, but most of the time I'm alone/by myself when I'm in classes where I don't know anyone (or any situation where I don't know anyone for that matter) or when I'm walking somewhere or whatever. But it's like everyone sees me as weird or labels me the 'loner' type because of this. Like, I do have friends but most of the time I can't open up to people easily and can't make new friends, so I guess I would say I have a few close friends and a lot of distant friends (that I know but don't hang out with or anything), and just because I sit alone or walk alone or whatever people label me? Is anyone else in this situation or has been in this situation? Do you think it's just high schoolers that label people really quickly like this or what? It's like they base their whole perception of me on the situations in which I'm by myself only, they don't see the whole me like the me talking with friends and being outgoing.

 

[blink12]

all the other students who don't know me?... maybe even some of the teachers

 

[longlivesolitude]

Just wondering - is this something you know or something you think?

 

[blink12]

sorry heh. ya that's basically what I think. But everyone always looks at me and I don't know why but nobody ever seems to talk to me or anything except for the people I already know....
I dunno... ehhh ya...
some people are even like 'oh he doesn't talk' and say things about me when Im around, it's pretty shitty. Like, I know I do talk to people but they just see me like that, and it's really hard to talk as well like I said in the first post.

 

[longlivesolitude]

heh I know exactly what you mean. But you can't really guess what people are thinking about you. It isn't healthy to try anyways Hmm.. I think that you might get more relaxed around people if you stop all the negative thinking and then you are able to talk more. I don't know any miracle cure cause I'm in the same boat as you, but if you walk around thinking yourself as being a weird dude then you will definately feel bad. Change those thoughts! Your probably as clever as the person next to you.. your thoughts about yourself and how others see you are just a bit distorted.

 

[Primus]

its just high school bullshit. it will pass so soon.

there is nothing wrong with being a "loner" (that is just a term with a bad connotation; you are technically a loner but you have close friends and family that im sure you cant do without so technically you are not a loner. but to society you are) once you get out of highschool and go to college you will see that its okay and you just be yourself and try to be happy and everyone accepts you.

 

[Clash]

I'm in high school and I do have friends, but most of the time I'm alone/by myself when I'm in classes where I don't know anyone (or any situation where I don't know anyone for that matter) or when I'm walking somewhere or whatever. But it's like everyone sees me as weird or labels me the 'loner' type because of this. Like, I do have friends but most of the time I can't open up to people easily and can't make new friends, so I guess I would say I have a few close friends and a lot of distant friends (that I know but don't hang out with or anything), and just because I sit alone or walk alone or whatever people label me? Is anyone else in this situation or has been in this situation? Do you think it's just high schoolers that label people really quickly like this or what? It's like they base their whole perception of me on the situations in which I'm by myself only, they don't see the whole me like the me talking with friends and being outgoing.

I was the exact same way man. And they will continue to label you like that. My senior year in HS I finally made some friends at school (I had other friends that didn't go to that school from that I met my freshman year but then I switched schools) and they helped me speak more outloud in a group, but I never made anymore friends because I still kept to myself even when I did meet them. But the only real way to stop being a loner to other people would be to just to talk to people more and try to put yourself in more social situations and you don't have to fit in with a trend of people. But I never did and it is still hard for me to smalltalk and get conversations going. Usualy if people don't start a conversation with me it will be an akward scilence. But sometimes when I'm not thinking I can start up a conversation. Also once you graduate it is alot easier to talk to people. Because you mature and people are more friendly especialy if you go to college. Anyway hope that could help you relate.

 

[2QuietForThem]

Loner here! I do practically everything by myself – eat out, movies, shop. I’m . . . ok with it. I’d rather have company, but I’ve come to accept the fact that I’m just not sociable and that’s that. It’s kind of awkward in restaurants though. I always bring a magazine or something to read. The only problem with that is someone may want to talk to you but doesn’t want to interrupt your reading (as I was told once my a woman – DANG!). I don’t have anyone to hang out with and I sometimes wonder what that’s like. Calling someone up to see if they want to go to a game – just thinking about the call just jumbles the thoughts in my head. This SA is kicking me bad. But I just go on one day at a time.