What's this life for????

[iwasme]

I just started taking Paxil for my depression but I don't feel any better, in fact I just feel worse. Sometimes I wish that all my pain would just go away and I were dead. I don't feel the energy or the strength to do anything anymore. I just keep hiding behind a fake smile and my parents tell me that it's gonna be ok, but I don't believe them, I'm just sick and tired of feeling this way, nothing helps, nothing eases the pain and I want to die. If anybody out there has listened to the Metallica song "Fade to Black", that's exactly how I feel, in the parts "There is nothing more for me, I need the end to set me free", "Emptiness is filling me to the point of agony", "I was me but now he's gone".
I wish someone could help me but I don't think anyone can... I want to die

 

[SocialRetahd]

A LOT of doctors don't give a damn. Get one that does, even if it means going to many.

Paxil doesn't work for everyone. How long have you been on it?

I personally am not a fan of SSRI's. Effexor seems to work the best though.

 

[phoenix1]

Hang in there. I know what you mean and I've felt just like that for years. The only comfort I received was thinking about any kind of release from the pain. I honestly never thought I would live to see my 21st birthday.

I do tell you one think though, for one reason or another, it does get better with age. The pain lessons and one day you wake up and you realize that you no longer think about the release from the pain every day.

There is always hope. For me I find the little things in life get me through. A song, a walk in the mountains, a good movie. An idea of a better future, that one day I will wake up and I will be at peace with the world.

Life can be shit, life can be pure pain, but its the only thing we have. Survive a day at a time and who knows what good things can happen.

The last thing I want to say is that we do have eachother in this dark, messed up world. The burden is not yours alone. There are plenty of good people willing to help. You can message or email me if you want.