What would you go through to have your SP under control?
- Thread starter Falcon
- Start date
Reholla
Well-known member
Do you mean like physical pain?? Cause thats kinda morbid!!
But i think you go thru more pain while youre in a process of getting rid of anxiety. People who say theyve overcome their anxiety have claimed to have more panic attacks once they started doing something about their anxiety. When i heard this i was really scared. Was it worth going thru more pain? But i think the answer is yes. Either way you will have pain, but why not take the route where youre doing something about your situation? You are on your way to controlling your anixety once you do this. I have to admit some days i feel horrible....even though i know why i have SA, some days i just wake up feeling physically sick with anxiety. Its like i can feel all my pain rushing out.
But it took time to escalate up to this level of anxiety and its going to take time to get out of it. Just be patient with yourself through it all.
But i think you go thru more pain while youre in a process of getting rid of anxiety. People who say theyve overcome their anxiety have claimed to have more panic attacks once they started doing something about their anxiety. When i heard this i was really scared. Was it worth going thru more pain? But i think the answer is yes. Either way you will have pain, but why not take the route where youre doing something about your situation? You are on your way to controlling your anixety once you do this. I have to admit some days i feel horrible....even though i know why i have SA, some days i just wake up feeling physically sick with anxiety. Its like i can feel all my pain rushing out.
But it took time to escalate up to this level of anxiety and its going to take time to get out of it. Just be patient with yourself through it all.
Falcon
Well-known member
Well, I'm asking because I brought myself out of my SP this spring. It was a horrible, difficult, and anxiety-ridden process. But I feel so great now that it's conquered for once and for all.
I would like to help others do what I did. I think what I did will work for people who are "just" shy.
I would like to help others do what I did. I think what I did will work for people who are "just" shy.
Reholla
Well-known member
Falcon: wow, you are completely recovered from this???! That is an awesome accomplishment, and definitely gives me hope! I knew it was possible, its just nice to hear. If you have recovered, do you mind answering how long it took you and/ or what you did?
I know thats a broad question, but you can answer it as specific as you want to. I am curious b/cause i think what i am doing is helping....but lately ive been impatient with myself because I have been striving to get "all better" for about a year now.-- Like REALLLY every day trying.
I know thats a broad question, but you can answer it as specific as you want to. I am curious b/cause i think what i am doing is helping....but lately ive been impatient with myself because I have been striving to get "all better" for about a year now.-- Like REALLLY every day trying.
Falcon
Well-known member
Yes, I'd say I'm completely recovered, or at least 99% recovered. I'm definitely not Mr. Social, the kind of guy who makes long lasting friendships wherever he goes, but I am normal - I have friends, I do stuff with them, and I can get along just fine in social situations where I don't know anyone. I would like to improve further; I want to make more friends and be more sociable. But I am very happy with my progress.Reholla said:
In January I was very much abnormal. I had almost no friends, I didn't know how to maintain friendships, I didn't like doing stuff with people, and I mostly sat at home and spent time by myself. Social situations with people I didn't know caused me significant anxiety. I would get flutters in my chest when speaking up in a meeting at work. I was 27 and had never been on a date.
That's the bad. The good was that I could be a talkative and interesting person when I was in the right mood and with people I was comfortable with. I also have a lot of willpower. These are the things that I used to catapult me into normalcy.
Here's how I solved my problems (in no particular order).
* First, I got on a low dosage of Zoloft for anxiety. Maybe this isn't the right medicine for you, talk to your doctor. But this made me feel more relaxed in social situations and helped me get "over the hump" so to speak.
* Second, I started working out. This made me look better and feel better, which greatly increased my confidence. It sounds shallow, but trust me, when you look good, you feel a lot better about yourself.
* Third, I did affirmations. I wrote down stuff I liked about myself and stuff I hoped to improve, and read it several times per day.
* Fourth, I put myself in uncomfortable social situations. I went to bars and clubs alone, and talked to people. I struck up conversations with sales clerks. I went to local events and took classes. This was a nightmare. But I was so surprised at the reactions people gave me - almost entirely pleasant - that it really helped.
* Fifth, I focused on other people. I focused on being interested in them, their stories, and in general what they were saying. I think many of us shy people are not interested in other people's lives, and this lack of interest shows and absolutely kills any friendship potentials. When I focused on being interested, I found that I was interested, because there are a lot of interesting people out there.
* Sixth, and perhaps most important, I strived to eliminate all negative thinking from my life. If there's one undercurrent on this board that is perhaps most destructive, it's the constant and continual negativity. Towards ourselves, towards others - it's incredibly destructive to self confidence and emotional well being. I forced myself to not think negative thoughts, and to be a glass-is-half-full type of person. It wasn't easy, but I did it. I had a major 'relapse' a month or two ago that you should be aware of, because it might happen to you too. Things were going great. I was loving life. Then...I started to regret that I hadn't done this sooner, that I had wasted my life, that I was playing computer games in college while everyone else was having fun and getting laid, that I sat at home for the past 5 years when friends were out exploring the great city I live in...etc. Regret is THE most destructive emotion, because it's irrational and you cannot fix it. The only thing you can do is ignore it. I have been able to successfully do so, and am now a ton happier.
That's really it. It didn't happen over night, it took months of concerted effort. PM me if you need any help or someone to curse at you until you go DO it!!
I was happily reading this post until I came across this sentence:
Damn, it's the end for me then
Joking aside, this is one of the most useful and well written things I have seen so far on this board, I even feel almost like giving it a try, I mean I'm instinctively the most pessimistic of all people but I'm not stupid, and all of the above makes a lot of sense to me.
Anyhow, this needs to stay up in the threads list, which is the main reason for this reply.
Damn, it's the end for me then
Joking aside, this is one of the most useful and well written things I have seen so far on this board, I even feel almost like giving it a try, I mean I'm instinctively the most pessimistic of all people but I'm not stupid, and all of the above makes a lot of sense to me.
Anyhow, this needs to stay up in the threads list, which is the main reason for this reply.
Reholla
Well-known member
Hey Falcon...
That was such good advice. About the medicine thing, I have been trying to get over my anxiety with out the aid of medicine. I have been really working at it for like 6 months now and nothing...
I have pretty much done all the things you suggested to do (minus the medication) and I have had some anxiety-free weeks, but no permanent changes. Every now and again my anxiety will come back again, almost in full swing. The only difference is I know how to handle it BETTER...but it takes soo much effort to get back to a good point that it interferes with school and things in my life...
I work out as much as I can, especially do like 30 minutes of cardio or I run. And I really try to eat healthy and as little caffiene as possible. That HELPED.
I have read books, and I have a really good understanding of anxiety. I found out that my Psych 101 prof had a Panic disorder, and we've been emailing back forth. Like I know what I need to do, and I have been working on being as positive as I can. But some days like the physical symptoms are SO bad, I physically feel sick.
In fact when I didnt know what I had, I remember going to the doctor and making them take blood and run every test imaginable. I thought I had a disease. And when she told me I was healthy as a horse, I was mad. I WANTED something to be wrong so I could fix it. But it was underlying anxiety.
Anyway, is there any advice for some one who has made lifestyle changes, and understands WHY they have anxiety, and has been working at it, but just cant seem to make the 'happy, content feeling' stick.
I feel so moody and bipolar sometimes! Any advice would be appreciated. =)
That was such good advice. About the medicine thing, I have been trying to get over my anxiety with out the aid of medicine. I have been really working at it for like 6 months now and nothing...
I have pretty much done all the things you suggested to do (minus the medication) and I have had some anxiety-free weeks, but no permanent changes. Every now and again my anxiety will come back again, almost in full swing. The only difference is I know how to handle it BETTER...but it takes soo much effort to get back to a good point that it interferes with school and things in my life...
I work out as much as I can, especially do like 30 minutes of cardio or I run. And I really try to eat healthy and as little caffiene as possible. That HELPED.
I have read books, and I have a really good understanding of anxiety. I found out that my Psych 101 prof had a Panic disorder, and we've been emailing back forth. Like I know what I need to do, and I have been working on being as positive as I can. But some days like the physical symptoms are SO bad, I physically feel sick.
In fact when I didnt know what I had, I remember going to the doctor and making them take blood and run every test imaginable. I thought I had a disease. And when she told me I was healthy as a horse, I was mad. I WANTED something to be wrong so I could fix it. But it was underlying anxiety.
Anyway, is there any advice for some one who has made lifestyle changes, and understands WHY they have anxiety, and has been working at it, but just cant seem to make the 'happy, content feeling' stick.
I feel so moody and bipolar sometimes! Any advice would be appreciated. =)
Jack-B
Well-known member
Falcon,
Great post!
Im pleased to hear you are doing well.
A wise man said to me once, "the bigger the problem, the bigger the solution" - so true.
The pain of overcoming anxiety is largely due to letting go of our fixed sense of who we think we are and who we think others are and all the imaginings in between. Almost like pulling off a plaster to realise there's nothing wrong anymore our wound has healed.
When we really face our anxiety, we realise there is nothing or noone to fear, no situation can harm us, it comes from within, within the mind itself. If we can learn to face it without being frightened, this is a massive step. But before we get there we will face much discouragment and self doubt, this causes pain. We will build in strength and will make many mistakes but we will know all anxiety comes from within, when we see this clearly our self confidence cannot be shook by external circumstances.
Regret is not a destructive emotion at all, it is a very positive mind. Guilt, however, what you experienced, is very distructive and leads you to negative thinking.
Regret says, i wish i hadnt done that, i shouldnt waste my life like that or i upset so and so i shoudnt have. This leads to a more positive path in life seeing the dangers of such actions.
Guilt is destructive as it dwells on what you did and you negatively evaluate it, its a mind based on anger for actions committed and you basically beat yourself up about it causing lack of confidence etc.
Reholla,
I am have been Bipolar for many years, my advice to anyone who deals with mood disorder or anxiety is:
Learn to let it go, like watching clouds in the sky, everything is changing.
Jack
Great post!
Im pleased to hear you are doing well.
A wise man said to me once, "the bigger the problem, the bigger the solution" - so true.
The pain of overcoming anxiety is largely due to letting go of our fixed sense of who we think we are and who we think others are and all the imaginings in between. Almost like pulling off a plaster to realise there's nothing wrong anymore our wound has healed.
When we really face our anxiety, we realise there is nothing or noone to fear, no situation can harm us, it comes from within, within the mind itself. If we can learn to face it without being frightened, this is a massive step. But before we get there we will face much discouragment and self doubt, this causes pain. We will build in strength and will make many mistakes but we will know all anxiety comes from within, when we see this clearly our self confidence cannot be shook by external circumstances.
Regret is not a destructive emotion at all, it is a very positive mind. Guilt, however, what you experienced, is very distructive and leads you to negative thinking.
Regret says, i wish i hadnt done that, i shouldnt waste my life like that or i upset so and so i shoudnt have. This leads to a more positive path in life seeing the dangers of such actions.
Guilt is destructive as it dwells on what you did and you negatively evaluate it, its a mind based on anger for actions committed and you basically beat yourself up about it causing lack of confidence etc.
Reholla,
I am have been Bipolar for many years, my advice to anyone who deals with mood disorder or anxiety is:
Learn to let it go, like watching clouds in the sky, everything is changing.
Jack
Jack-B
Well-known member
Falcon,
Great post!
Im pleased to hear you are doing well.
A wise man said to me once, "the bigger the problem, the bigger the solution" - so true.
The pain of overcoming anxiety is largely due to letting go of our fixed sense of who we think we are and who we think others are and all the imaginings in between. Almost like pulling off a plaster to realise there's nothing wrong anymore our wound has healed.
When we really face our anxiety, we realise there is nothing or noone to fear, no situation can harm us, it comes from within, within the mind itself. If we can learn to face it without being frightened, this is a massive step. But before we get there we will face much discouragment and self doubt, this causes pain. We will build in strength and will make many mistakes but we will know all anxiety comes from within, when we see this clearly our self confidence cannot be shook by external circumstances.
Regret is not a destructive emotion at all, it is a very positive mind. Guilt, however, what you experienced, is very distructive and leads you to negative thinking.
Regret says, i wish i hadnt done that, i shouldnt waste my life like that or i upset so and so i shoudnt have. This leads to a more positive path in life seeing the dangers of such actions.
Guilt is destructive as it dwells on what you did and you negatively evaluate it, its a mind based on anger for actions committed and you basically beat yourself up about it causing lack of confidence etc.
Reholla,
I am have been Bipolar for many years, my advice to anyone who deals with mood disorder or anxiety is:
Learn to let it go, like watching clouds in the sky, everything is changing.
Jack
Great post!
Im pleased to hear you are doing well.
A wise man said to me once, "the bigger the problem, the bigger the solution" - so true.
The pain of overcoming anxiety is largely due to letting go of our fixed sense of who we think we are and who we think others are and all the imaginings in between. Almost like pulling off a plaster to realise there's nothing wrong anymore our wound has healed.
When we really face our anxiety, we realise there is nothing or noone to fear, no situation can harm us, it comes from within, within the mind itself. If we can learn to face it without being frightened, this is a massive step. But before we get there we will face much discouragment and self doubt, this causes pain. We will build in strength and will make many mistakes but we will know all anxiety comes from within, when we see this clearly our self confidence cannot be shook by external circumstances.
Regret is not a destructive emotion at all, it is a very positive mind. Guilt, however, what you experienced, is very distructive and leads you to negative thinking.
Regret says, i wish i hadnt done that, i shouldnt waste my life like that or i upset so and so i shoudnt have. This leads to a more positive path in life seeing the dangers of such actions.
Guilt is destructive as it dwells on what you did and you negatively evaluate it, its a mind based on anger for actions committed and you basically beat yourself up about it causing lack of confidence etc.
Reholla,
I am have been Bipolar for many years, my advice to anyone who deals with mood disorder or anxiety is:
Learn to let it go, like watching clouds in the sky, everything is changing.
Jack