What to trust when challenging your own limits?

[Ayla]

Gah. I feel like I'm over-using the web space lately with my own problems...but I'll try to turn this into a general topic.

Should we be forcing ourselves through our anxieties? Lets just say, there's something I want to do, but I feel very uncomfortable; I feel anxiety with it. What do we do if we know that we are overly anxious? Should we just do it anyways? My counsellor and many books by psychologists argue that people with sp need to readjust their 'fight or flight' responses - because they are 'over-percieving' threats to their persons.

But...if you can't trust your own instincts, what can you trust? What can be my compass if I don't have myself?

(I assure you that 'what I want to do' is not illegal or immoral in any way. Its just something that may be emotionally threatening to me...and maybe something that I'm a little afraid I won't be good at.)

 

[scatmantom]

brilliant post and i agree with what you say.
Its very very hard to deal with the things that make us anxious, but from personnal experience it really does get easier the more you force yourself through it. But when you have done it once, you then have solid evidance in your mind, or you can right down ur achievements, and reflect and say

"this is something i have done before and I have coped with it, therefore I will cope again"

Positive thought patterns will always be of help to people in our situations

 

[cLavain]

Interesting question. Often it's quite obvious when your instincts go haywire, like when someone's afraid to go into a normal store. That's an overreaction and it's neccessary to override those alarm bells. At other times, it's more fuzzy, like should you go to that party or not? On a personal note, I'm having that dilemma right now. Then there's those times when you know you should stay away from a situation, like for me I could never hold a public speech. It would end badly, so my instincts are right.

I guess you have to decide what your goals are and try to make decisions that will get you as close to those goals as possible, but no further.

 

[Ayla]

Thanx for the replies, guys.

I did it! but kinda modified it so I didn't feel SO threatened (still not telling what it was, though )

 

[Reholla]

Ditto to everything...

I know this is really hard. When I was first figuring out my anxieties, it was hard for me to decide what I could and couldnt do.

Before i figured out what my anxieties were, I would go threw days and when I couldnt go through certain circumstances, most of the times I would avoid that situation completely. But everytime you avoid a situation, a small peice of your self esteem is taken away with it. Thats why the sooner you figure out your anxieties, the faster and less painful the road to recovery is.

So where do you start? My experience with overcoming anxiety is that you have to get through it in baby steps. Coming to a realization of what causes anxious feelings is great, but that doesn't mean the next day you could get up and give a speech. Youre going to have to set small goals everyday to do things you might have have anxiety about before.

1. Maybe make a list of goals you want to accomplish; might look like this:

- order pizza over the phone

2. then list why youre scared about it:
- the other person is going to hear my voice and know how anxiety-striken i am on the inside...I'll be so embarassed if he asks to repeat myself.

3. write why its irrational:
- if the pizza delivery guy notices I have anxiety, do you think he'll even care? He answers tons of phone calls, hes probably not going to notice mine. This call is just part of the routine for him. So what if I do stumble in my words? I probably won't even see this guy ever again, its not like I won't be able to show my face again. there are worse things.

This may seem like a little much, but until this becomes a habbit for you to do in your mind, writing it down will help.

I'm sure your true anxiety is about something much greater, but start with something more basic, and work yourself up.

Give yourself credit where credit is due. So what if you left class early? You made yourself go, and next time you will know that it's possible for you to stay longer.