What should i say?

[TooShyShy]

I am still trying to come up with the best way to approach my shy guy at work. After reading posts from the last 2 weeks or so i see that him liking me (and me feeling the same way) won't be enough for us to come together with his anxiety being so bad.

Do i start by talking about how much i like him?

Or just ask him if he has a girlfriend first (i know he doesn't) but if he says yes he does..then i know not to go any further. I was thinking of asking him what he did on New Years...i want to see if he says he had a date..should i ask if he was alone????

Is that a good way to begin???

Need opinions pleeeez 8O

 

[alex29]

maybe try to plan to hang out toether on new years? no big party, just watching movies or something

 

[Spfreezes]

If you decide to tell him that you liked him or etc. you should find a place which is not crowded nor unmanned and walk while you're talking. That helps him relax I think. BTW you'd better ask him if he has a gf. If he doesn't , tell him that you like him.

 

[Ventrilo]

ask him out for coffee. everyone likes it and it's not as intimidating and formal (scary) as a real date but i only assume it's pretty much the same thing.

 

[bleach]

Do i start by talking about how much i like him?

If you want to. It needn't be so forward, you could just invite him to go out somewhere, just the two of you, and he will get the message.

Or just ask him if he has a girlfriend first (i know he doesn't) but if he says yes he does..then i know not to go any further. I was thinking of asking him what he did on New Years...i want to see if he says he had a date..should i ask if he was alone????

That is pointless, you already know he has completely fallen for you, what do you need to test the waters for? Also asking him about New Year's might just embarrass him if he really HAS been alone for the holiday(s).

It sounds like you are trying to talk your way around the next step here, but it can't be avoided. One of you has to directly express your interest, scary as that seems, or nothing will ever happen.

 

[Spfreezes]

I would be anxious even when I hear the word of 'coffee'. That could make him refuse your offer.

 

[Dave_McFadden]

You could try the following:

"Hi. I've been interested in you for a while, and I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime, just the two of us."

"Hi. I think you're a really great guy, and I want to get to know you better. Would you like to go out sometime?"

"Hi. We've been friends for a long time, and I think you're really great ("special" might work here too). (feel free to list some qualities about him you like - funny, sweet, etc.). We talk at work a lot, but I was hoping we could get together one on one sometime. Are you free this weekend?"

"Hi. We've been friends for a long time, and I think you're really nice. We talk at work a lot, but I was hoping we could get together one on one sometime. I think you're great, sweet, etc. (here you name some good qualities again) and I want to get to know you better. Are you free...?"

(This is a variant of the line above, except you're reinforcing his good qualities again and then it seems more natural that you want to know more about him.)

Of course, feel free to "mix and match" from any of the above.

If these sound funny, keep in mind that I haven't asked anyone out in 10 years. Maybe they're past their expiration date. Also, I've never asked a man out. So you might have to take these with a grain of salt.


If he asks, "on a date?" or "are you asking me out?", be prepared to look him straight in the eye and tell him yes. Or nod your head or some other acknowledgement.

Be prepared with a list of concrete ideas as to where to go. Have a first choice, second choice, third choice. Something definite though.

If you're going through with this, you also have to "steel" yourself for the possibility that he might turn you down. Make sure that you have a pint of your favorite ice cream in your fridge in case. And maybe a good movie on DVD.

 

[Sacrament]

Approach him with your eyes popping out and looking as if you're on LSD and yell "I REALLY LIKE YOU!"

 

[TheWall]

Approach him with your eyes popping out and looking as if you're on LSD and yell "I REALLY LIKE YOU!"

That made me lol.

 

[ventriloone]

attack him

 

[TooShyShy]

LOL!!! Thanks guys.

We are both on vacation until Jan 5th so i guess i will just wait and see.

Part of me thinks he can't do anymore than he is..which is why i am having second thoughts. I think he knows he can't handle a relationship with me...or any girl

 

[NightTimeForever]

LOL!!! Thanks guys.

We are both on vacation until Jan 5th so i guess i will just wait and see.

Part of me thinks he can't do anymore than he is..which is why i am having second thoughts. I think he knows he can't handle a relationship with me...or any girl

I think at this point, he will have to be dragged kicking and screaming into a relationship...for his own good! :wink:

 

[TooShyShy]

How do i make that happen...for his own good of course :lol: :wink:

 

[ventriloone]

three emoticons in a row is too much, just ask him and he'll say yes if he likes you, he probably just can't approach you himself cause he's afraid you will reject him it's not that difficult. 8O :? 8) :lol: