What should I do?

[Emma]

My sister gave my phone number out to this guy, which I was super annoyed about, and anyway, he messaged me, and I thought it would be mean if I didn't message him back....and he asked me to go to the movies, and I agreed to go, because I am lonely...but I spent the next day freaking out and broke into hives...and anyway I went, but I didn't have much to say to him.....I just answered questions and then when he left I didn't thank him because i am too scared, I just gave him like a half hug thing and jumped away......he said he would message me again if I'm interested..do you think he's just saying it to be nice?

Do you think he thinks I'm an asshole?
And a very tiny part of me still thinks about Jai.....I know he was a jerk and treated me like trash and he has obviously moved on...how do I put him out of my mind forever?

I know this guy is nice.....but what do I do?

 

[SocialRetahd]

Is he good looking?

 

[dottie]

Is he good looking?

irrelevant. anyways, we can't judge if he was just saying things to be nice because we weren't there. the question is: did you enjoy his company? if so message him back and see if he wants to go to another movie. if not, don't.

 

[SocialRetahd]

Is he good looking?

irrelevant.

I wish that were true.

 

[dottie]

Is he good looking?

irrelevant.

I wish that were true.

how would his looks determine whether or not he "thinks she's an asshole?" or if he was just saying things to be nice? you think people with SA are designated to dating only "ugly" people? (i hate that word btw).

 

[SocialRetahd]

how would his looks determine whether or not he "thinks she's an asshole?" or if he was just saying things to be nice? you think people with SA are designated to dating only "ugly" people? (i hate that word btw).

Nope. But ugly people are designated to date nobody.

My life is suffering.

 

[sidney]

well if u have his number then just text him saying ur very shy and u reli appreciated the movie but didnt know how to thank him, say it was reli nice and that u just didnt know wat to do since it was the first time u two hav met. im sure hes abit uptight aswell so knowing u feel the same will make him feel better.plus ur scared of doing the wrong thing and scarin him away that way he knows how u feel and wont get the wrong idea
let us know how it goes!

 

[Primrose]

Lucky you - grab it (him lol) with both hands.

 

[emmdee]

The perfect way to put Jai out of your mind is by trying something with the new guy.

Slowly do it though. Doing things too fast won't help anything....and let him know that. If you don't want to tell him about your social anxiety, just say in order for this to work, you need to do things at your pace. Give yourself the control - and then maybe when you feel comfortable, if he's still around then let him help you and confide in him. This guy could be your key to happiness.

 

[Some_guy]

how would his looks determine whether or not he "thinks she's an asshole?" or if he was just saying things to be nice? you think people with SA are designated to dating only "ugly" people? (i hate that word btw).

Nope. But ugly people are designated to date nobody.

My life is suffering.

I think you need to open up to new horizons. When I read your posts it's like you made up your mind already, and nobody could possibly convince you that being an ugly male you can still date a lot of women.

In fact, it does NOT matter. What would matter most is your social skills and your social status. Women want to feel safe with a man, so they will look for a man that can stand for himself, that is confident and that has a large social circle. That's it. Being beautiful is a nice bonus but it's certainly not a priority in the woman's eyes. They've got to feel safe first.

I'm far from ugly, yet if I was to convey to a woman that I'm friendless and unconfident, she'd run away :wink:

 

[Abalone]

I'm far from ugly, yet if I was to convey to a woman that I'm friendless and unconfident, she'd run away :wink:

It sounds almost like you think that is a good thing that women have such standards...

 

[Y]

Is he good looking?

The answer to this question changes a lot i think. But id ask something like "is he like you?" i mean if your sister wanted to match you too together, she mustve thought you have things in common. Is he shy too?

As for if he thinks you are an asshole? Well i dont think so. Its not hard to tell if people are too shy to talk or hug or smt else, or if they dont care enough to do so. He probably realized you were a little shy and maybe he liked it and thats why he said hed message you. I know some guys like shy girls (though they are not shy themselves)

 

[Emma]

I have had a change of heart....I am just going to remind myself that he's not Jai and he's not going to hurt me.....He is very good to me and I'm seeing him again tomorrow...but he doesn't know I'm social phobic, he knows I'm really shy and he said he's shy too, but I don't think he gets the extent of it, and so far I've managed to avoid things like eating out with him, or going to the movies (both things that would have me fainting or in tears)...but how long am I going to be able to do that for? and what will happen when he finds out? He might not want to ever see me again, I don't want him to leave too

 

[SocialRetahd]

I'm far from ugly, yet if I was to convey to a woman that I'm friendless and unconfident, she'd run away :wink:

It sounds almost like you think that is a good thing that women have such standards...

It is a good thing. But it isn't true.

 

[Tryin]

how would his looks determine whether or not he "thinks she's an asshole?" or if he was just saying things to be nice? you think people with SA are designated to dating only "ugly" people? (i hate that word btw).

Nope. But ugly people are designated to date nobody.

My life is suffering.

Stop burying yourself. I can't see how anyone can be as ugly as you portray yourself to be.