What sex life??

T

T. Charles

Member
My difficluties socializing and interacting with people has gurenteed one thing- my love life would be as robust as that of a Bishop- I.e non existant...
Failure with women has resulted in years between sexual experinces for me- I'm curious if I'm the only guy with this dilemma-

I'm not a player, so the one night stand thing is somthing i've never mastered, and I'm too shy to pursue women for any meaningful releationship....

As a man of 40, i feel like a total failure. i've only had 3 relationships with women, and none of the relationships lasted more than 6 months.

Most 20 year olds have more sexual experience than me.


Any advice, or should I write off ever having a meaningful love life?
 
Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
Look at it this way. At least you have had a few relationships, which I assume were healthy relationships i.e. emotional and physical intimacy with the opposite gender. I know it's probably no consolation, but I'm 32 myself and have never experienced any of those.

Unfortunately, as long as you lack social skills, suffer from (extreme) shyness or social anxiety, which is even worse, it will be extremely hard to develop meaningful relationships with people. Nearly impossible I would say. Well, that's how it is for me..

I sincerely hope you will be able to overcome your shyness (social anxiety?) and find the right person to share your life with.
 
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danstelter

danstelter

Well-known member
Stop the negativity!!!!

I was in the same boat...didn't have my first girlfriend till 21. Then, I broke up with her much to everyone's surprise. It took 3 1/2 years, but I found another good one and now we are going to get married. I used to be so shy to the point where I "froze" and could not say anything around women or anyone strange to me.

How did I overcome it? Well, I just keep working at it by exercising, dieting, a small dose of medication (10 mg Lexapro), counseling (VERY BENEFICIAL AND HIGHLY RECOMMENDED), and finally continuing to take the real life risks and be in those anxiety-provoking situations.

If you write-off having a meaningful lovelife, you will certainly never have one. So, keep working at it and remember that you can and will relax if you keep working.

As a side note, a good place to do dating for social phobics is online. A good free site is Free Online Dating at Plentyoffish.com I'm not guaranteeing you'll meet your match, but it's a starting point!

Good luck and keep us posted as to how you do!
 
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