What set me apart??

[Etbow23]

So I know most everyone on here hates Facebook, but I go on here and there usually just to listen to the music I have on my page or something. I don't have many friends on there, but some. I went on there and I saw all these people I used to know in high school before I started having a lot of issues and notice they are all at their great universities, with loads of friends, and there pictures of each other. I saw this one girl was showing off all her tattoos she's just getting. I remember I mistakenly got mine years ago, before I was even legal. Here while I've gone to community college and spent my free days working 8 hours shifts at Target.

Then I look at my sister who I had a fight with over a year ago and haven't spoken to since, though I finally readded her on Facebook. though we still don't talk, and she has hundreds of friends (so does my other sister) and she has a page for the art she is selling. I noticed she did a painting of my other sister, but none of me of course. Both of them have a lot of friends on their pages, parties, whatever, and I have somewhere around 30 friends?



I looked at some of my boyfriend's family's pages, who live in Peru, and one of his cousins had over 1,000 friends.

I'm not saying I want to be that way, but I'm wondering what set me apart from these people. Why do I have no friends and they have hundreds? What happened to me? Why do they seem accepted by everyone while I seem rejected or out of place? Why are my two sisters friends and not so much with me? Why did I end up dropping out of high school and then running away and then going to another high school while all the other kids from my old high school graduated no problems and were lucky enough to go to four-year universities, not have to work? WHy do they not have to work at some shi*ty job and live with my mom and her boyfriend, go to community college?

I remember last summer I became so upset with this inferiority after looking at my sister's facebook I almost took a gun and shot myself in the mouth, then I ended up being hospitalized and the guns were removed from my house because they were my mom's boyfriend's and he didn't want the psychiatrist I told to tell the cops that he had unregistered guns. He asked me, "you want me to go to prison?". Not "we're concerned for you, we love you" but rather they wanted to cover their asses and get the guns out because they were afraid the cops were going to come.

WHy are my sisters liked by my moms extended family even though they live overseas, while I am obviously out of place and have even gotten into altercations with them? Why did my sisters stay thin and I gained 60 lbs in the past couple years?

I guess I'm complaining at this point, but I really want to know. WHAT set me apart???? I don't understand why I'm so much more of an unpopular sh*t head than my sisters, than the other kids that went to my first high school. Why do I feel so different than them? What happened to me???

I've been debating this for some time now. Don't know if I'll get any response on here, but don't know who else to turn to.

 

[satstrn]

Yo,

I'm sorry that the feelings are that intense, I know what its like (though I have never really considered suicide). My advice would be try to stop considering why this has happened to you and why you are so inferior to other people because it puts you in the position of being powerless and not in control. Don't compare yourself to other people, I know its natural to do so but it seems to me thats whats really driving the feelings of inferiority. It does seem that everyone on facebook has a perfect life and a million friends, but the reality is that each one of us has problems and hurdles that we are trying to overcome in our lives, we would cease to be human if we didn't. I'd focus on the things you want to improve in your life rather than focusing on other peoples' lives. You can only change your own life, and its pointless to dwell on where you are in relation to others. Develop your interests, follow through in school, maybe look for a different job (target sounds like hell), exercise more, etc. It really doesn't matter where you stand in relation to other people, what matters is where you stand in relation to yourself, and you have more control over it than you think. Stop wondering "why" and start thinking "how". I wish you the best.

 

[SelfHater]

Facebook is all fake. Do not measure yourself on the friend list or the happy photos. I think the people that have over 1000 friends have a inferiority complex. They need to look important and socialize to feel good. A lot of them take the same depression and anxiety meds that I once did. After college they will get a kick in the butt by life. College does not equal a good job, money or happiness.

 

[Etbow23]

I think you all are right that Facebook is fake & ridiculous. Nonetheless, I still think there is something different about me from even my siblings, not to mention everyone else. It's like a diamond that has a crack in the center. There's something flawed about me.

I'm seriously trying to see what this was caused by. Maybe it's that I had more abuse from my stepfather...but I don't know what started it initially; they were exposed to him too but not so much to the extent I was, me being the youngest and all. But I'm wondering if there's something more than this. I guess I'll never know.

 

[Etbow23]

I think if it was anything specific, you would be aware of it. You might have difficulty to admit it to yourself, but you'd be aware of it at least.

Because no reason in particular is apparent to you then I think you just have to try and not think about it, hard as that may seem, otherwise you could end up thinking all sorts of wild and crazy reasons just for the sake of having an answer. It's like you say, you may never know, so what will thinking about it so much really do for you?

I think most of us spend a lot of time wondering how we compare to others/feeling inadequate to others. You're not alone. Remember that people are their own worst critics. Try not to log-in to Facebook for a while or if you do, 'hide' these people from your newsfeed so you don't have to see it all each time you log in

You're right One thing I do when I get depressed is feel like something is so wrong with me and that there's no way out and that I'm helpless. But really I'm just obsessing over things that really are just making me the way I don't want to be. I sometimes need to remind myself that life on earth is short and really insignificant in a lot of ways. We have no real idea of why we're here, but we're always suffering all the time. May as well try and make the best of it while we're still here.

 

[Silatuyok]

Facebook is going downhill anyway, I think it'll be dead within a few years. The new timeline is the most narcissistic thing I've ever seen and will drive a lot of people away (apart from the show-offs).

I've had an on-again off-again relationship with Facebook since 2003. The new timeline creeps me out and annoys me. I may have to go off-again here real shortly.

With regards to the OP, I know some people who go through and add any person they have ever met (or know of) just in order to get a higher friend count. Heck, some people probably go out and meet people just so they can go home and add them as friends on facebook. ::

 

[Silatuyok]

^ on second thought: going home to add friends on facebook is probably old-fashioned by now. They just update it on their phones as they go along.

 

[SelfHater]

Another thing about Facebook is people are added for business reasons. There customers not friends.

What sets you apart? We are all different. I do not look to fit in myself. I just try to work towards happiness. If we were all the same that would be boring.

 

[Etbow23]

and you have more control over it than you think.

That is very tru

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I still think there is something different about me from even my siblings, not to mention everyone else. It's like a diamond that has a crack in the center. There's something flawed about me.

I often feel the same way. I don't know which disorders you have if any, but I have a few. I often wonder why I had to develop OCD, anxiety, depression... those illnesses do make it that much harder to just be. Perhaps "the flaw" are these disorders and once we overcome them, we will be who we were meant to be...

 

[Lea]

What you shot yourself in the mouth? O.O How come you survived that?

 

[Etbow23]

^ on second thought: going home to add friends on facebook is probably old-fashioned by now. They just update it on their phones as they go along.

lmaoo i know right?

I often feel the same way. I don't know which disorders you have if any, but I have a few. I often wonder why I had to develop OCD, anxiety, depression... those illnesses do make it that much harder to just be. Perhaps "the flaw" are these disorders and once we overcome them, we will be who we were meant to be...

I have an issue with cutting myself, and I like you have anxiety & depression. I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder but I don't know if it's true. Maybe. But perhaps you're right, these are the reason for the flaw. I guess i'm just wondering why I have issues with these and my siblings don't

What you shot yourself in the mouth? O.O How come you survived that?

no I didn't lol....I almost did then i told some idiot psychiatrist about it who locked me up in the hospital . but there are people who survive that...i saw it on cops once. he ended up paraplegic or whatever

 

[Mr.Prez]

I don't think this helps you answer your question, but I know popular people with only like 16 friends on their fb