what if we never find someone who likes us for what we are?

[xtina_fan81]

because the people i tell
arent the people who need to change or hear it.

and the people who need to hear it
dont want to know.


so there is no answer or solution to this situation.

becasue im never going to find anyone else who wnts to know.


people say dont stop being yourself. so ive been refusing to change myself. but that is proving wrong.

if i changed and faked shit and pretended i was someone else just so i could fit in and make fake friends,that would be wrong too.

anyone else in my situation wouldve given up being themselves by now and just become someone they're not so people will "like" them and find other ways of getting love. and im so fucking close to ending this self-respecting never changing for anyone bullshit. i can deal with a couple of people here and there not "liking" me for whatever reason.
but the real me obviously isnt what anyone wants.


u think being true to yourself is the most important thing but when 6 years of that has got you no-where and only resulted to this type of life, u start to think maybe its not worth it.


if i faked it and pretended i was someone else and did whatever to get what i want, at least id have nights out and and regular sexy time.

because the way i see it im never going to constantly have that being the real me or find anyone who will accept me enough to do it.


there is only so much longer keep up the "good girl with a good head on her shoulders" feeling and attitude.


its FAITH that i have dont have anymore. self-acceptance is amazingly still in tact, i think. if it wasnt, i would already be out there doing god knows what with god knows who.


maybe as a girl growing up im just going to start to make life choices and think what i want most .. find someone who likes me for me, OR a bit of fun & laughter. because i obviously cant have both.

 

[shield]

I definitely know what you're saying. I think we have to be logical with this. People don't like you, that's true. But there are lots of people with the same looks, hobbies and wealth as you (unless you're a real freak lol) who have lots of friends. The only reason why people don't like you is because you are shy/anxious. So since you cannot change others you must change this aspect of yourself. Everyone on this forum complains that people don't like them. But do you really think it is because they all have a scent which makes people hate them? NO. They all have shyness. That's the common thread. So that's the only thing you need to work on, and then you will have everything that others have, and there are proven CBT techniques and medicines that can get you there. So it all comes down to whether you are willing to do what it takes to have a better life. You can 1) continue doing what you're doing and be depressed and unhappy and just hope that you meet a special person through luck. Or 2) you can work hard at improving your life for 1 year, which will be very painful but after this you will be a much happier person for the rest of your life after that and you will have a much higher chance of meeting a special person. Whatever you choose I wish you all the best.

 

[CK23]

I know there are many people like us who complain about their condition.. the fact that they are social aliens.. no one likes them... I think the only way is to try and open up to people... though it's much easier said than done... I've been trying this myself but i'd like to know how we can eliminate the fear of being rejected... Thing is, people like us are so low in confidence and positivity that even when we do approach someone our voice is low and shaky... the facial impression turns awkward with the effort of communicating... I guess that can drive people away as well... For me it hurts even more than not communicating at all....

 

[shield]

Thing is, people like us are so low in confidence and positivity that even when we do approach someone our voice is low and shaky... the facial impression turns awkward with the effort of communicating... I guess that can drive people away as well... For me it hurts even more than not communicating at all....

It should definitely feel more uncomfortable to talk to people than avoid them this is why we engage in what is known as 'avoidance'. I think the key to getting over fear of rejection is to actually pursue it. It sounds quite counterintuitive as we always tend to avoid rejection and conceal our symptoms. My experience tends to suggest that we should try to increase the symptoms such as blushing, shaky voice e.t.c. Once you are habituated and comfortable with the worst case scenario you wil tend to find the symproms stop occuring. The paradox is the symptoms go when you don't care whether you have them or not.

 

[lonely_down_under]

I've tried and tried and given up looking for someone who likes me as much as I like and accept them. And what haven't I done to be good to most people. I'm still young but I have no high hopes for future regarding this issue (of being accepted for who I am).

You'll die alone, no one's gonna help you out of this. You will die ALONE!

 

[chris87]

I hope that I eventually find someone that likes me. It's not that I'm desperate or anything, but I would rather not spend the rest of my life alone.