What does being hugged feel like??

[Articulate]

I think you are overreacting here, surely you have been hugged before! even I have been hugged before

No I'm not. I was 'hugged' as an infant in so much that I was held in someone's arms at some point. Every child in infancy must be held by people. However, from an age that I can remember I was never hugged. My childhood was very fractious and cold, and my parents did not show me any affection in a physical or verbal way. However, I don't think of that as a causal explanation for why I have yet to find affection elsewhere, because that could happen to lots of people.

My parents DID care about me, and when I was in their care I was educated and protected, and they had their own serious problems so I don't think just because they were unloving means they were bad people at all!

But no, this is absolutely in no way 'overreacting.' This is the first time I've spoken about this outside of counselling. I'm trying to avoid developing chrinic love shyness and touch aversion.

 

[Samsapple]

I 'believe' or think I was hugged in infancy (I mean when your so young you don't have memory of it). I know I must have been held in someone's arms when a baby, though as a family we took few pictures. However, I was never hugged from a time I can remember i.e from about the age 5/6 upwards. So no my parents didn't hug me. I don't know if this had any knock on effect later on in life. I've never had any friends or contact with girls so it just hasn't happened yet.

My parents never showed affection or physical contact as well. To this day I have never heard them say "I love you" or any of that reassuring mumble jumble parents are suppose to say.

I don't respond well to people hugging or touching me except from men of interest. I hate to point fingers at my parents but I do believe their lack of affection as a child lead to my ****ed up state. However not enjoying a hug is not the end of the world. Thank god we live in a society that abides by the personal bubble rule. I remember in highschool one of my classmates would sit behind me and rub my shoulders during class. I would turn stiff as a board and he'd complain about how tense I was. I was too nice to ask him to stop. I look back and laugh about it now but I remember how I use to skip class just to avoid him. And yes I now know he was a bit of a creep.

However, all hugs were not created equally. A hug from someone you love is one of the best feelings in the world. Their warmth will melt any cold heart.

 

[spring]

have you ever asked your mother to give you a hug?or tried yourself to hug her?

i believe it would be a more fulfilling experience to receive affection-for the first time- from your parents if possible,since lack of a healthy relationship with them while you were growing up is the root cause of your problems

 

[sullyS25]

Dear SocialPhobia community

I'm 24 and I've joined this site principally because I'm looking for some kind of help in making the first small steps towards maybe one say having some friends or a partner, or just having a first kiss/hug and holding hands.

I'm, for some reason, especially focused lately on having my first hug. I don't know why I'm fixated on it?:idontknow: Can anyone here whose experienced being hugged express in words what it feels like to them? Was it: friendly/from a parent or romantic? Did it alleviate alot of your Social Phobia at the time?

Didnt you mention something about having alcoholism or drug abuse in your family? If you do, there is a support group called al-anon that helps family members of alcoholics and EVERYONE gets a hug if they talk about there past of living with an alcoholic and how it has affected there current emotional situation....

You can go there and get a hug. Any support group! All I advocate is to not play the victim, go outside of your comfort zone and find someone to hug you my friend! So sorry to hear youve never been hugged before!