What do you like to do? What makes you happy?


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Heya everyone, i'm Kev from Singapore. Well more or less, i'm experiencing the same thing as you all, this life ruining cocktail.

Kinda weird that they dun believe having one of these is bad enough and they wanna make it into a cocktail of low self esteem, depression, social anxiety and many other negative emotions and make ya drink it.

Well i'm trying to pull myself out of this. Was thinking perhaps i start by answering the questions above. Perhaps i can have some opinions and feebacks?

So what do you like to do? What makes you happy?


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I'm happy to stay inside and do my own thing, because my SA stops me going out, and I love music and videogames and drawing anyway. The only thing that makes me depressed and stuff is other people making me feel like I'm doing the wrong thing. I wish I never had to leave my space. I'm perfectly happy. And I get annoyed when people try to tell me the only way I can be happy is by being with other people.


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ok crimefish, im not gonna tell ya your wrong for sure!!!!! cause for me, people are hurtful (they dont always mean to be i dont think, it's just that i have the very sensitive part of sa) and i'll go out when i darn well please!! I Love being with my dogies and my hubby. I can go anywhere (well lots of places) so long as im playing with my dogs. I can even go to dog shows where there's lots and lots of people. See, i can do lots of stuff that i LIKE to do and that makes me happy, so long as there's not anyone of signigfacance going to be there too. I prefer strangers actually. I hate going into a familiar store, or somewhere i'll see someone i know and i just wont do it if i dont want to. I probably shouldnt say all this cause your prob young and because im settled, ok aged, and im fine with staying in my own space, and breaking out when i feel like it. Im unable to function in a job anymore which would suck to many, but i've done many years and could retire early. I just plane cant do it so i dont. So, im not giving advice, but i too hated when people would say i was wrong for loveing my dogs, or horses, and spending all my time with them, so im kinda protective of people who enjoy their space, and someone saying theyre wrong. If your happy at it i dont think theyres anything wrong with it, it's only if your missarable in your life that you need to find something to make you happy.......Remember anyone reading this, it's just my opnion and im REALLY not trying to give advise cause im in this for the long hall. Many years i've tried to please others and now, i just get to please my doggies and my hubby, and my kids like me the way i am so im happy....and long winded.


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AYE! AYE! Scardecat Lass! I feel exactly the same way you do!!

I find lotz of 'stuff' to do at home that makes me HAPPY.... gee.... I could go out and run into a nasty cashier at a store and BLAME MYSELF for their attitude & feel depressed and miserable about it for days & make it even MORE difficult for me to go out again, OR... I could go to the mall & face being all of the mall cruiser's entertainment if I have a panic attack.... so hmmmmm? Which would I rather do? Don't think I need a degree to figure that one out!

I don't have a horse in my apt. cuz if the land lady would find out I don't think I'd be in my apt. too much longer.. :) , but I do have some adorable lil' hammies I love to pieces and 2 'keets' (parakeets) that I haven't figured out exactly WHY after 6 years, but I love to peices, too! They make me happy! You know, my psych keeps nagging me about 'getting out with firends", I keep telling him that I stay in with friends, and the great part about MY FRIENDS, not one has ever hurt me or my feelings, asked me to borrow money, stood me up, or told me I'm long winded. :lol: They are the BEST!

I don't think you are long winded Scarde!


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i really enjoy watching tv Chat with net friends;but i wish i can do more out of my house
i cant go out by myself to buy my own things And i dont remember the last time i went to the movies !!!!!!im just gettin tired to see this walls


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Heya ppl, i guess the bottom line question is if you are happy. That's all that matters. I'm glad for crimefish, scardecat and solo1 that they find happiness in doing things on their own, with no need of social interaction. Well i believe those ppl that prompt ya for more social interaction, they have good intentions in mind and do not necessarily wanna make ya lives difficult.

As for me, i really dunno. I dun seemed to be happy with or without human interaction. How do i find happiness?


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Re: I need advice


I've been reading through some of the messages and I realise what people are going through. I live in the UK and feel as though I'm the only one who has this terrible sa.

I am someone who has tried to fight it off for years. I havev been in and out of different office jobs for years until eventually I decided to giveup working. I've been unemployed for over 5 years and, of course my confidence has gone even worse. Still, I've tried to go back into work and it doesn't work.

I wonder if anyone can identify not being able to go out of the house in daylight because of the fear of seeing someone! It's ok at night time.

I also feel uneasy around my family, I don't know why. I feel too nervous to be in the same room as some members of my family. For instance, if one of my sisters comes to visit at the house, I'll go out into the bedroom because I feel too scared to see them. Why?

I'm allright with strangers. If I didn't know people around here, I would be able to go out of the house anytime. I wouldn't feel self-conscious. It's as though I think that people know what I'm thinking.

Can anyone identify with this?



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Hi Guest, i think more or less i can relate to what ya going through. We feel more comfortable with strangers than people we know.

The reason i can think of is that for strangers, you do not know him and vice versa and hence there is no obligation to chit chat with him/her. Without this obligation to chat, we do not worry about what questions we have to ask in order to keep the conversation going.

As for people ya know, like friends, close friends and even family, somehow we feel that we oughta know everything about them 100% by this point of time already? Am i correct? What's more, we have to formulate questions and stuff to talk about and keep the conversation going, else the silence seems weird and deafening? I too feel uneasy when with family members in the same room.

So did i answer your question?


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Hi there,

I'm a bit of a mixture - somewhat of a homebody and love to get out and do things too! Like walking, animals (would love to have a dog/s...) movies, eating out and really love public speaking (just kidding).

I used to HATE any kind of social outing, they were way too hard....but now I actually enjoy them! (mostly) In fact, if I don't get out enough (I live alone) I start to feel a bit 'odd' and prone to negative thoughts/depression.... Does anyone else relate to that??


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When we avoid neighbors and family members, that avoidance is, I believe most always misunderstood. We appear to them as unfriendly, aloof or stuck up when the opposite is true. Consequently, people begin to avoid us too. I hate it when I'm in a situation that I'm uncomfortable and I sense that others sense it which makes me even more uncomfortable.
That's a bit off topic, sorry! What makes me happy is a long list of things. I have loads of interests and love life for that reason. I try to work around my problems as well as possible and do the things that make me happy. I love to read, bicycle ride, travel, listen to music, correspondence, grow a few vegetables, browse the net, etc. My days are never long enough and I love retirement. SP is a real snag but I somehow get around those low spots when it gives me grief. Also, I just want to add that I agree with most all that was said and "hello" to Scardecat and Solo 1. :wink:


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:) and hello to you too shep :) I always get happy when i see your posts cause i always can relate to what your saying. And to "guest" who wrote about night bieng easier, and not seeing people they know, well, while i was reading that, i thought i had written it. hehe Im quite the chatter box with strangers but hate to see people i know or have even met before. And yes, even sometimes family who i love is just too scarry. But i can certainly say Retirement YES!! it's helped so much because i can arrange my life and move in and out of situations at MY time. And!!!!! i keep saying how i am so much more comfortable with strangers, but this seems the first thread that finally, i am catching people more llike that. Usually over and over i hear of people afraid of strangers and comfortable with people they know so this is really nice. hum, :roll: that's kind of bad to say,cause i really dont wish this on anyone, but it is nice to hear this cause i keep asking too. Well, i just figure it's cause with strangers theirs no expectations of us. Well, im grateful for being able to walk, and for beaches, and have my hubby and doggies cause life is good with them, oh, and solo,,,my psyke now sais i have a "severe" case of ocd.....go figure! And to think it was brought to our attention by lil ole ocdme lol. yould think i or he would have diagnosed it a bit sooner. oh well, now i got more questions about some other stuff that im just gonna have to start a new thread about but think i've carried on enough....


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hi!i feel related with the guest

i cant even go to family reunions they are probably angry with me!!!!i go to my bedroom if someone comes to my home but now im trying to stop that behavior right now there's a neighbor in my house and im still here in the living room

i hope to force myself more this days cause there are a lot of visits at home this month


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I'm like scardie--not too bad with expectationless strangers, but find it next to impossible to discuss anything important about me or my interests with my parents, and was recently far too embarassed to go to a small family reunion (and my grandfather's getting very old...). This has been a stumbling block in all my romantic relationships too...

But, to be back on topic, I enjoy making recordings on my PC--songs of all sorts (some pop but mostly raging metal, punk, and even more obnoxious things :) ). I've got HOURS of material with ME as the whole band, so to speak. :) I get to be a tyrannical perfectionist and not listen to anyone criticize work in progress (an SP-related pet peeve??)... I get to give someone a CD and hear about their thoughts about it later ;)

I once had a promoter try to book my "band" (If I could have pulled that "Multiplicity" thing, I might have had a record deal ;) ), got good writeups in zines, and got my side project on vinyl. :)

I also dig reading (everything from Lovecraft to Naipaul), my kittycat, being in the woods/hiking, and many other things (many will remain nameless for now, LOL).

Now if I only had a gf and a few more friends....

and a more lucrative job...

and a shorter commute... LOL


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I love to watch the stars - it makes me feel insignificant - but in the good way - like "I am mote, nothing that happens to me matters anyway...", jog in the morning with fog rolling over hills, run in the rain or even better - falling snow, sing my favority songs (when I'm sure I'm alone), read a good book ... aah, and dream, day-dream to be exact...


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well, seems to me we're a bunch of really neat people. Is nice so bad? ....Boy, Im soooooooo glad im retired and can do more of what pleases me, instead of struggling so hard. Im sure gratful for that. I hope for you youngens that you can find comfort.
Crimefish said:
I'm happy to stay inside and do my own thing, because my SA stops me going out, and I love music and videogames and drawing anyway. The only thing that makes me depressed and stuff is other people making me feel like I'm doing the wrong thing. I wish I never had to leave my space. I'm perfectly happy. And I get annoyed when people try to tell me the only way I can be happy is by being with other people.
That is so right... And beautiful! Thank you crimefish...

I like to do my "own thing" inside, which includes writing, reading, video games, and some other hobbies. I also like to go "out"! As long as going "out" doesn't mean I have to deal with other people!


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Some of the things I like doing are: watching films, listening to music, read books and most of all painting. While painting I get so concentrated that it looks like if I were in another planet, in a place without problems. But like all trips this one ends too.
hiya all

am i bit like crime fish in a way
i have my own house and most of the time am happy in my bubble as i call it but when some one trys to burst is say family ,friends i get so furstrate they want me to go out more get a job or even going to the pub but when they ask me i feel guilty not doing it gets me worked up if i dont wont to do it and then i get worked up cos i cant do it. why did they ask me in the first place( cos they care) some time i want to but i dont go out much expect to take my dog out for her walks if it wasnt for her i dont think i would go out at all some time i feel happy the way i am but then it doesnt being skint all the time live on benfits makes me feel gulity i havent worked much since i left school so i dont do much now just watch tv the net and my dog but i do think i want more and i think i want more