what am i supposed to say?

[Dex Dorrey]

so often lately i'll find myself in a situation where someone asks me "why?" and the only response i could give would be to admit to the person about my social anxiety, my depression or both...or at very least admit one of the symptoms...i really dont like lying and even if i was comfortable lying i can never think of a legit excuse...for example someone at work who i get along with will ask me why i'm depressed, or someone will ask me why i can't do something that someone without either disorder would do with no problem or even thinking about it, or why i feel like i'm not going to get a girlfriend any time soon and stuff like that....and most of the time theyll ask me when other people are around that i really dont know or really that comfortable with....and i really just dont know how to respond at all so usually i just end up saying something that makes absolutely no sense like "i dont know"...what the hell am i supposed to say? am i just supposed to tell people about my disorders?

 

[Section_31]

I do. So does my wife.

People dont understand, but sometimes it makes the odd person think. And you dont feel guilt about lying.

S/A is a prt of who we are. Its nothing to be ashamed of. Im proud of who i am.

 

[Cyanide2601]

Oh i hate that, i always get really defensive. Its terrible. Sorry thats not advice, i need help with that too!

 

[nafadda]

when someone asks me "WHY?"..I usually respond with ,"WHY do you want to know".. I mean if a person is going to question me I want to know why also..I mean are they just curious,are the nosey,do they want to interogate me???...I have no need to explain or defend myself anymore..perhaps I once did..but I don't anymore.some people just like colecting lots of info about people and later use it as amo or idle gossip,not my thing anymore and of course some don't mind talk in great details about all their problems...I say keep it light and remember,EVERYONE has some type of problem and some make the best of it and some do not....so try answering a question with a questions if the question makes you uncomfortable..you may be surprise at how quick that can put someone else in the hot seat and the conversation can take another less invasive turn..just my opinion for what it's worth

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

It is tricky answering questions I don't really want to answer. I don't like lying either... I could come up with all sorts of sarcastic replies, but that wouldn't help as I don't want to be rude. So, I don't want to tell the person the real reason and I don't want to lie or be rude...kind of impossible to do all that, huh? Why can't they just keep quiet? I read somewhere once that when asked a particularly nosy question or a question you don't want to answer to say something along the lines of "oh, that is a weird question, no one has ever asked me that" and sort of leave it at that. I have yet to use that response, but I am itching to try it out. But I suppose I cannot say that when someone is asking what I do for work, can I? Ahhh. Sometimes it even starts to feel like an interview: what do you do for work? Do you go to school? Do you go clubbing on the weekend? Inside I am screaming Shut Up! My face is probably saying it too.

I am meeting my boyfriend's sister this weekend, and I am sure she will have questions. Totally normal. So, I figure that my responses will be honest. But I will say them with confidence and not be meek about it. I hope I can pull it off.

I have no need to explain or defend myself anymore..

Ah, yes. I am getting closer to feeling the same way. It is just tiring. I agree with your whole post.

I wouldn't mind telling people about my disorders if they wanted to help or asked out of concern. My problem is with people that ask to make you feel like ****. Unfortunately I come across the latter more often.

 

[Azael]

If you are going to be around people, it's only natural that they will eventually inquire about the obvious inhibitions you have. Agreed, it can be frustrating being put on the spot like that, particularly if it's not well timed and with people you don't know or feel comfortable with present. It's also frustrating trying to bring across how you feel to most people, as they can never truly understand your consition. I am very wary about what information I divulge to others for obvious reasons, and if ever put on the spot, I'll simply retort that I am painfully shy. That is something that everyone can understand, and it covers enough of SA/AvPD, so you don't have to feel guilty about saying it. You basically offer them a term they can conceptualise.