really_confused
Member
I grew up an only child and in a 1 parent family.My mom was also a drunk.I believe this is the cause of my S.A. as i never grew up around other kids or was pushed to try activities with other kids...Am i the only one?
Were you an only child?
- Thread starter really_confused
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Chilling__Echo
Well-known member
i never really had childhood friends except at my chruch. but no one in my neighborhood or anything. and i'm an only child.
really_confused
Member
Interesting.....i always wondered if things would be differant if i grew up with a bunch of brothers and sisters.
thequietone
Well-known member
I am the oldest of three...I don't think it has helped me become more social, though, if anything the pressure of being a good role model has only made me more self conscious. So far though, my siblings are doing fine and not following my messed up example at all. :roll:
I think it really matters what kind of person you are born as, although birth order does hold some truth....
First borns are supposed to be the pleasers and overachievers.
Middle kids are unruly and rebellious.
The babies of the family are sometimes fawned over and have less direction in their lives.
Some of the only children that I know of are spoiled...not to say that anyone here is!
I think it really matters what kind of person you are born as, although birth order does hold some truth....
First borns are supposed to be the pleasers and overachievers.
Middle kids are unruly and rebellious.
The babies of the family are sometimes fawned over and have less direction in their lives.
Some of the only children that I know of are spoiled...not to say that anyone here is!
SPECTACULAR
Well-known member
and i'm the middle child. Two older and three younger. So i think it has nothing to do with being alone or having a dozen sharing the same bathroom!
thequietone
Well-known member
maggie said:
My younger siblings are really outgoing too! It sucks being the oldest, feeling like you should be the best, the most advanced and experienced because you have seniority, and then your kid sister navigates the social ladder with ease! The younger exceeds the older. What's with that? :x
i know exactly what you mean thequietone...i feel kind of inadequate..and stupid really sometimes..when my siblings are making important steps towards their future...in lots of ways..and i'm still stuck in the same stupid rut..feeling like i'm going nowhere :roll:thequietone said:
Jaded_Jester
Member
My Dad re-married just before my 6th bday, I'm 9 years older than my brother and 12 years older than my sis. (i'm 26 now)My dad's wife is a nasty cold-hearted bitch and my SA is the direct result of her treating me like crap my whole life. She would clearly treat my bro and sis much better (but I never blamed them for that, it made me happy for them). I could do nothing right, we argued all the time (well she argued and when I tried to defend myself she would yell louder to drown me out then send me to my room). I grew up surrounded by negativity. (the exception being my brother and sister, we had alot of fun and i tried to spoil them as much as possible - within reason of course)
My Dad is a workaholic so a lot of the time he wasn't around, and of course she was much nicer to me when he was around. :roll: When I was about 14 I found out that when she thought I had gone to bed for the night, she would start telling my Dad everything I did wrong that day, even in front of my bro and sis. I used to listen at the bottom of the stairs and after a couple of years of that self esteem crushing trash talk, it became apparant that my Dad would never stick up for me because he was saving himself from arguing with her. The worst thing was that my Dad thought we didnt get along because 'it's a mother-daughter thing' he always said. My poor brother is taking anti-depressants too (since he was 15, he's 17 now) and I could see my sister taking them in the future too.
Just last week my Dad emailed me to say that they are getting a divorce. I started bawling when I read his email. He asked me to forgive him but I don't know if I am capable of that. I have so much anger and bitterness towards him for leaving me to fend for myself against her. As weird as this sounds, a part of me felt much better after reading the email, I was able to let something go but I can't quite put my finger on it yet. Maybe it is because I finally don't have to second guess myself by thinking "why doesn't my dad see it?, maybe she's right and I can't do anything right"
It's been 20 years, his words were "I have finally woken up, I don't want to be a prisoner in my own home anymore". I am very happy that he made that decision, I just wish I could be there for the kids but I live 16 hours away by car. (plus I'm not close to my family, because I can't be around if she is there - angry feelings start brewing) :evil: :twisted: :evil:
Sorry for the long post, I needed to vent.
My Dad is a workaholic so a lot of the time he wasn't around, and of course she was much nicer to me when he was around. :roll: When I was about 14 I found out that when she thought I had gone to bed for the night, she would start telling my Dad everything I did wrong that day, even in front of my bro and sis. I used to listen at the bottom of the stairs and after a couple of years of that self esteem crushing trash talk, it became apparant that my Dad would never stick up for me because he was saving himself from arguing with her. The worst thing was that my Dad thought we didnt get along because 'it's a mother-daughter thing' he always said. My poor brother is taking anti-depressants too (since he was 15, he's 17 now) and I could see my sister taking them in the future too.
Just last week my Dad emailed me to say that they are getting a divorce. I started bawling when I read his email. He asked me to forgive him but I don't know if I am capable of that. I have so much anger and bitterness towards him for leaving me to fend for myself against her. As weird as this sounds, a part of me felt much better after reading the email, I was able to let something go but I can't quite put my finger on it yet. Maybe it is because I finally don't have to second guess myself by thinking "why doesn't my dad see it?, maybe she's right and I can't do anything right"
It's been 20 years, his words were "I have finally woken up, I don't want to be a prisoner in my own home anymore". I am very happy that he made that decision, I just wish I could be there for the kids but I live 16 hours away by car. (plus I'm not close to my family, because I can't be around if she is there - angry feelings start brewing) :evil: :twisted: :evil:
Sorry for the long post, I needed to vent.
jayo said:
thequietone said:
SPECTACULAR said:
maggie said:
The world is getting crowded...
In italy these days the majority of children are and will remain single ones (only 1.3 children per woman!). If we continue down this path, there won't be many of us left in half a century from now
To answer the question, I myself have a younger sister, and it is certainly a good thing.
scatmantom
Well-known member
Im a middle child...1 older and 1 younger than me...but they are both totally social and can do what they want. 1 of them went on a world trip for 12 months...the other has been on loads of holidays and stuff...just makes me wonder WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY????????????? :roll:
