Well done SilentandShy - you've messed up again!

[SilentAndShy]

It seems I come here to post after a monumental mess up and I'm here yet again, writing, because I need some place to get support because I find it impossible to get in life.

I've messed up at work (this previous thread might help add context) and my job as an Admin guy involves logging incoming mail. I've not really done this sort of task before in other jobs so I just followed instructions, i.e. just copy a letter and give to my boss and send the letter to whom it was addressed to.

Anyhow, following this procedure, two letters arrived which were kinda urgent and it came back to bite me on my ***. My boss kinda implied she'd assumed I'd know this admin duty, i.e. logging mail and jokingly said if she hadn't been on the interview she might not have hired me! She was kinda good about it all but she made a similiar comment before and I get the feeling she wouldn't have hired me. Also, doesn't help that she's a tad unapproachable and other staff clash with her and she has a go at them sometimes and I just feel apprehensive about asking her/asking for instructions/advice because of that fear.

I've got another year in the job but my attendance, after 6 months of 100%, has seen me take about two weeks on sick and today, I just couldn't face going in and luckily it snowed so couldn't make it in but also had a family bereavement which, I had to handle but should have gone in still but I just couldn't face it after yesterday. My confidence is rocked and if I mess up this job, I just don't know what I will do..

 

[Sacrament]

There are two kinds of perfectionist. The first one strives to do things right, and does his best to learn things to a point where he doesn't mess up. The second one beats himself up for not doing things perfectly, and feels disappointed and inedequate. It's okay not to be perfect. No one is. Every single person on this planet messes up here and there. As long as it's not a constant thing, and as long as 85% of the time you do things as they should be, you're fine.

 

[SilentAndShy]

^That's what worries me that the culminations of mistakes lead to a loss in confidence in my by others. My only "consolation" is that atleast it's my other colleagues, sometimes, who get it in the neck from the boss aswell but it's a minor comfort.

 

[SilentAndShy]

I always panic, like I am now, when in my job, I don't know what to say to someone over the phone about an issue and blurt on without making much sense and being vague send that person to another organisation who I kinda know might not be able to help but because I'm panicking, I just send them off there.

Worst is when that organisation calls you asking where you referred that person to them etc because it makes you, and your organisation, look badly! Just hope she doesn't tell my boss about the incident..

It's a part of my job I'm not good, that is being knowledgeable about things so sometimes, I just send people off to where I think they might get help. It's bad but I struggle at times..

Argh!!

 

[Sacrament]

Even if you didn't suffer from work related anxiety, you'd still find yourself in situations where you didn't do things 100% as they should be done. Relax, take a breath, and acknowledge that even your most 'perfect' of colleagues mess up every now and again. As for everything else, do your best to keep your cool and your composure, do your job, accept and embrace that you're not perfect because not even your boss is, and it'll get easier as you become more relaxed.

When you don't know where to send people, calmly and kindly tell them that you need to find that out first, do what is necessary to get that information, and be proud of yourself instead of hastily giving out wrong information. Or you can just redirect their call to a department that has that information, or put them on hold for a few seconds while you inquire.

 

[SilentAndShy]

Even if you didn't suffer from work related anxiety, you'd still find yourself in situations where you didn't do things 100% as they should be done. Relax, take a breath, and acknowledge that even your most 'perfect' of colleagues mess up every now and again. As for everything else, do your best to keep your cool and your composure, do your job, accept and embrace that you're not perfect because not even your boss is, and it'll get easier as you become more relaxed.

When you don't know where to send people, calmly and kindly tell them that you need to find that out first, do what is necessary to get that information, and be proud of yourself instead of hastily giving wrong information. Or you can just redirect their call to a department that has that information, or put them on hold for a few seconds while you inquire.

Thanks for your advice, much appreciated.

What you've said at the end is probably what I would normally do but I sometimes get into this state of mind where I don't want to be helpful and indicative of my home life, want to be alone so probably dealt with it hastily when maybe, normally, I'd have been more recipient to helping.

 

[Sacrament]

Indicative of your home life in what way?

 

[SilentAndShy]

Indicative of your home life in what way?

In the sense that for a while now, I've hated people asking me to do things. So when they do, I try to put in the least amount of effort at home. Back story is that people always used to get me to do stuff, and just comes a point where you go "No, I don't want to be at someone's beck and call for stuff - do it yourself" but rather than speak up, I grunt and just to it.

 

[Sacrament]

Well, I mean, people who live under the same roof should share responsibilities, so sometimes when someone asks you to do something, it probably means you're slacking. But if you feel that you're doing most things while others are lazy, you need to step up and tell people how you feel.

 

[SilentAndShy]

Well, I mean, people who live under the same roof should share responsibilities, so sometimes when someone asks you to do something, it probably means you're slacking. But if you feel that you're doing most things while others are lazy, you need to step up and tell people how you feel.

I'd say it's more the latter. But it's been like this since childhood, me, as the youngest of the family becomes the go-to-guy for small tasks that need doing but I'm unassertive to say no. So guess my fault there. I've wanted to shout and scream no but just can't do it.